I think we should end this special discussion now or continue it in a polite and friendly way.
I will delete all posts that are inappropriate or unkind, because we don’t accept that here.
But I’ll give you all some more time to edit your posts, because I think this discussion is basically important and I don’t want to delete it completely.
And just because there was a disagreement, no one has to leave the forum.
Posts are flagged every day and posts have to be deleted for these or other reasons.
If you are/were affected yourself, then you can do better in the future.
The sender might not even be aware of how disrespectful they were being. To them the card might not be preachy at all, they were just talking about their life and what’s important to them. That’s why I wrote to tell them about it. Communication is the key.
But the sender is also not aware of this discussion here. They cannot defend themselfes or explain their motives. So maybe we should let the discussion become more general?
Because generally I do agree that one should avoid sending things the receiver doesn’t like/ want. Esp. when it’s a touchy subject like religion or politics.
When I received such cards, they make me smile because it’s interesting that people holding such belief are part of Postcrossing community. I treat it as a nice encounter and great to know that somewhere in US there is a strong believer in their chosen religion.
I received two cards from US and both are written in the same manner like the one shown here (before taken out by the moderator). Friendly tone and a few phrases taken from the Holy Bible.
I’m glad that I didn’t get any card from cult believer. I am worried if someday I will get one. For example, I read on the news that there is a town in US where most of the population are Satanic worshiper. But anyway, in Malaysia also have many kind of cult religion and interacting with them is normal. They live like normal people and running business like everyone else. I think it’s great to know there is people like these existing and also great to know that they mean no harm just feeling very proud of their belief and want to spread the joy to strangers. That is how I see it.
It’s very interesting how differently things can be perceived.
To me, a phrase like “Please surrender your heart to Him” and the link to the website of an organization which “offers dynamic training for lay people and churches wanting to become effective soul-winners for Jesus” (quote from the site) crosses the border between sharing your own faith and proselytizing quite clearly. Even more so when sent to someone in clear recognition of the recipient’s stance on the matter.
Recently I got a card from a Christian family who described their Easter celebration and it was a card full of joy that made me feel happy too. This is the kind of card mentioning faith that I enjoy receiving. That other version, not so much.
To bring the theme to an end, I would like to make one more comment.
No one is obliged to read a profile, write a different text on each card or choose a motive that the recipient would like to get.
So it may be the case that the sender received the address, choosed any card (or maybe they always sends the same motive), wrote his usual text and put the card in the letterbox - without even taking a look at the profile.
And no, we don’t have to discuss here now whether we think that’s fine or not.
Let’s just wait for the next theme…
The support will take care of it, if there is anything to take care of.
Should or is this going to be updated please, if it really was sent without consent (and also edit the name away when it apparently wasn’t any Tim)?
I think it’s important part in this topic and very different if it’s an official card, or if someone keeps the addresses (for how long) to send cards later.
So to me, official card, one can talk about politics or religion.
But to keep addresses to send political or religious cards later (how much later?) doesn’t feel ok. Now this has maybe left members worrying is their addresses kept for such purposes.
(Edit. I didn’t this a reply to anna_banana_87 only, but in general, it seems severe accusation that this card was sent without permission, because many persons already saw it. So if the card was official, I hope these accusations are removed, and apologised for maybe too.)
If someone has had an extremely bad experience of receiving an offensive or inconsiderate postcard, perhaps it would be worthwhile to consider having a gatekeeper. If someone else can screen the postcards and then pass them to you, then damage won’t be done. Just register the postcard without the intended recipient having taken a look at it, and move on. Although this arrangement is not possible for everyone, two Postcrossers (with different dislikes for postcard themes or messages) may even switch addresses and be a gatekeeper for each other.
So does this mean it won’t be told here if it was official or some spam? (Sorry I didn’t quite understand this part. Of course if this stays here under Postcrossing topics, I can assume it was official Postcrossing card )
Although I always think offensive should be reported, but in some cases it’s offensive only to recipient, without sender knowing it - then the gatekeeper could be really good!
I received a very proselytizing postcard last year. Funnily enough, only a few weeks after I wrote my first post here in the topic.
Anyway: The card came from Germany, without sender, without ID and while I had been set to inactive for quite a while. Nevertheless, I tried to find an ID via the search, could have been late or even a second card.
Nothing! I looked at the postcard more closely, but apart from the fact that the writing looked familiar to me, I couldn’t see anything that pointed to the sender. But I suspected someone from my extended circle of acquaintances. He had changed a lot, was suddenly really fanatical about faith and behaved strangely when I asked. So I asked him to refrain from doing that in the future and that was the end of the matter for me.
However, only a short time later a good friend and also postcrosser received the same card! And that’s not all, just a few weeks later, two other postcrossers posted in the German forum (in the Fehlkauf RR - “bad buy RR”) that they too had received this card. I don’t know if any of them reported it to the support. I didn’t, because I already threw the card away and what would they do? It was no official card and we only suspect it was from someone who got our addresses in the past via official.
The card was written passive-aggressive like only God will be good and I must follow Him to live a good life and so on
I think if there are persons who keep addresses and send something later, these profiles could be suspended? If there is the hand writing, sending place, sending country. And this person would be previously the sender for all those who got the card. So I think it could be possible to track this kind of person, but of course it takes time and this is not necessarily what the team has.
But also, sometimes I read here about sending a second card, and there was encouraging comment that everyone likes getting a card. Who can know if the asker was very religious and sharing this in their card! So they got encouragement to send another card. Also someone told they send two cards, and the other without id, for me it was unclear if they sent it sometimes later, so here we see, even when sending two, the id is good to put on everything.
Sending a second card happens when the first official one is never registered. It’s not normal, expected, or in my opinion proper, to keep sending cards otherwise.
So far, I have not yet received anything that I felt very upset or offended about, thankfully. I think I’ve only had 2 cases which were a bit frustrating or odd.
A couple of years ago, I received a mildly religious card. The image on the front listed a few facts about life, but from a religious view, but then didn’t write anything about her beliefs on her card. I think she just chose a random card or maybe it was all she had at the time. I didn’t understand it that she was trying to be pushy about her religion, but it still was a little disappointing to get that kind of card.
I also recently received 2 cards on the same day where the senders were gushing about their new family members. A whole paragraph about how amazing babies and birth is. That’s uh…I guess you can’t know from my profile that these topics really bother me, but I HAVE requested that people do not send me cards about babies and children.
If I received a Profile of someone who wrote they don’t like spiders, I wouldn’t send them a spider card OR write about how fascinating the spider in my garden is.
In my head, I just assume some people are a little tone-deaf towards things and only had good intentions anyways.
For some yes, I very rarely send a second card.
But some send two cards at the same time too, some new member asked here can they send more cards to same person (because no free slots).
There was recently another topic, where the sender told they send two cards (always?), and not put the id in the other, and they didn’t understand why this was confusing to the receivers. (Edit. and they didn’t send it the same time, or that is how I understood, it was a little unclear to me what and why they do it and don’t write the id to the other card.)
Maybe it was this person who sends these anonymous cards?
But yes, I agree it’s not normal to keep the address and send more later.
Sort of is, because it it’s official, it’s just a normal card, if it’s something else, it is more weird than normal. But, if no one knows, and it can’t be tracked to be official, or to show it isn’t, then there’s nothing more to do then. (I think many here don’t like the idea someone storing the addresses and sending anonymous stuff later, therefore it would be “nice” to know it was just on official without id.)
Of course if it’s just one in 10 years, maybe id missing, which I believe it was, perhaps the receiver already let it go and be forgotten, and it was just acute reaction thinking the worst scenario.
Why? There are tons of people who store every single mail they’ve ever received by Postcrossing. Including the address mails. Just for…I don’t know, personal statistics or whatever. So you have to suspend a lot of people. Including me, by the way, because once or twice I did that, too. One person later received an envelope full of cards for her child (of course, I referred to who I am) and the other one is a pen pal since then (which wasn’t planned before).
Imho if you suspend people who just keep addresses you put them under general suspicion - no need to do this. Though I don’t understand why keeping all addresses forever I also don’t see a problem in that fact - as long as someone is not misusing them.
But at least in my case it’s only my / our suspect that it could be someone who officially wrote to us - but it could also be someone who took part in a RR long time before and that’s why they had our addresses.
What I personally don’t like is the fact that (adult) people try to proselytizing other (adult) people, whether religiously or politically, without knowing whether this is okay for them or whether they are touching on a topic that is highly unpleasant or even sensitive or hurtful for those people. And the fact that there are people who do this anonymously shows me that they are well aware that it is not okay. Not forbidden, of course, but not okay either.
Please read again the part you quoted, you misunderstood what I meant.
I wrote “who keep addresses and send something later”. (And apparently in cases it’s more like spam or advertising).
I know there are people whose email is full of old mails, and I didn’t mean these members should be suspended. Only if they use the addresses for other purposes.
The guidelines say to use the address only for postcrossing, so anonymous card without id is not such.
(“The addresses given to you are private information and can only be used for Postcrossing purposes”)
(And here again, if the id is forgotten, no need to suspend anyone because of that of course.)
To me, it’s not Postcrossing purpose, if they already sent the official and sometimes later send something else, because then it’s not Postcrossing anymore → there is no id, card can’t be registered, so they are using the address for their personal purposes.
If you want to know whether it comes from the official site or spam mail… I suggest to submit your question to the person who received the said postcard.
I think your discussion is shifting to ads or spam cards? Found an old thread that you may like to read it.
Apparently, if someone received something that is unsure or weird, just send a report to the Postcrossing’s Support team and they will take appropriate action in every case.
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