Hard to Please?

Have I just been lucky in my year and a bit? I have not seen one of these before.
I have just drawn the address of someone who says (not exact words)

I don’t like flowers or animals or vegetables or Christmas or multi view cards or ad cards and I don’t like handwriting, put your card without handwriting in an envelope with the ID number on the outside of the envelope. If you send a view card it should have the name of the town. :face_with_raised_eyebrow:

Flummoxed, I looked at her received and sent cards. What was in the sent cards? Flowers, animals and Christmas-theme cards.



Taken from Postcrossing Guidelines: https://www.postcrossing.com/about/guidelines

If you mention which postcards you like in your profile, keep in mind that others are not obliged to send you a postcard that matches your preferences. You can not make demands about what you want or don’t want to receive.


Send them whatever you have at hand. And if you’re not comfortable with putting an unwritten card in an envelope, write it, stamp it and send it. As @KieranCM highlighted, wishes are just wishes and no musts. :slight_smile:


You are not responsible for supplying this person with free, unused postcards, which seems to be the request. :woman_shrugging: Follow what I presume is your usual protocol: written card, signed and stamped!


But this woman has been here for over eight years. And I don’t understand the double-values. Don’t send me these, but I can feel free to send you exactly what I don’t want/like.


I think it’s okay to send postcards with flowers (or whatever) even if you don’t want to recieve them. I also buy and send cards I don’t like so much myself because I try to find a card that matches the profile.

But personally I would never send a blank postcard in an envelope. Not even if the profile asks for it. I would send her a card without flowers etc. but without an envelope and probably just write some greetings and nothing more since she clearly doesn’t care.


I would never send train cards to train enthusiasts if I only sent what I like! :wink: I think there are many people here who send cards they don’t personally enjoy to people who do so. I’m really into spiders for example, but I know most people would hate a card with them. ^^

You’re right though, there are some Postcrossers here who are long-timers and still have a bit of a special tone to them. Maybe it’s a language issue, maybe Postcrossing has different goals for them. Just keep in mind that you can do Postcrossing the way you like, as long as you send a card to them. That’s all you have to do. :slight_smile:


Sorry you were unlucky! I really dislike such profiles too, though luckily enough they seem pretty rare!
Ah, and an unwritten card seems a little… I love if people write something, doesn’t matter what, they can write whatever they like, I’m always happy to read. Both sides of a postcard are precious to me.:heart:

If you haven’t prepared the card already, I wouldn’t put too much time and effort in it. If you don’t have anything that makes them happy, pick something that they’ll dislike the least and then just forget about it.
Luckily the majority of people aren’t like that.

On a side note, I never heard of flummoxed before, so thank you, I love learning new words! ( ღ’ᴗ’ღ )


Well, before cards in envelope had a higher postage than a stamped card, I didn’t mind it. Why should I spent time for writing a nice message when it’s not at all appreciated. I just put a card inside an envelope + a short note on an extra piece of paper and moved on to the next profile.

It’s not my cup of tea though and I wouldn’t enjoy an unwritten card. I love all the small messages on the card a lot. And I’m happy to send my cards that way if the receiver feels the same (most Postcrossers do!), but I wouldn’t enjoy writing a card while knowing the addressee won’t like it.


I’m sending a lot of postcards to others that they like but I don’t like at all. So I never look at sent cards when I try to decide what to send a postcrosser, I check the profile and favorites to get an idea. From what you write about the profile, a single-view tourist card from your area would fit well.

Some people are on Postcrossing not so much for the messages but for the postcards. Actually postcard collecting is what got me here as well. :smiley: I prefer postcards used, but others prefer them blank, and I have no issues sending blank postcards. It costs me 15 cents more postage (1.10 Euro instead of 0.95 Euro from Germany) and the envelope but saves me composing a message. :wink:

So I would send that person a blank single-view photo tourist card from my area. Usually such cards are among the cheapest postcards… :wink:


If flowers, animals, or Christmas cards matched the wishes of the recipients, why should she not send such cards just because she doesn’t like them?

You aren’t required to conform to her preferences, so feel free to send whatever postcard you have or want to send.

There are certainly some picky postcrossers, but I find that the vast majority of profiles I draw are not picky at all.


I often sent cards that I don’t like myself.
Honestly I don’t like cat and dog cards :blush: (please don’t judge me) but I bought set of cat and dog cards because many people want them :blush:


I share the no-doublestandard-in-own-preferences-vs-cards-sent others have already mentioned.

Still, and I think I’ve never written this, you could report this user to admin. They would ask the user to rephrase the profile to a more friendly way


SailingBy -

We all have our own little peccadillos. From some folks you get a pretty much negative overall vibe, from others a more positive one. I used to work in a deli years ago, and you’d get people who would come in and order a sandwich, say roast beef, and then proceed to tell you what they DID NOT want on it. As a sandwich maker, I always thought that was kind of a useless approach as i am waiting to find out what you DO want so I can make your sandwich! This scenario made me think of that.

My approach is this: if you tell me what you like, I try to send it if I have it. If I don’t have it, I try to get close, based on that list and what you’ve told me about yourself in your profile. I do, like others (but not all), try to keep a variety of cards on hand so I have some choices and can try to meet folks desires.

I would note that about 2/3 of the cards I’ve received are on my desire list, and about 1/3 are not; I have a big desired list. I would also note that the first thing I look at on any card I get is not the front but the back. To me what is most important is the message that was sent.

I don’t send postcards in envelopes. My one exception to that is traveling envelopes. There’s my peccadillo. That, to me, is not a postcard exchange.

My advice in this case: Send joy. If you have something that you know will bring joy, send it. If you have something that you know will bring a smile or a laugh, send it. If all you have is cards on their “do not like” list, send one of those, and send a joyful message. Send whatever you send the way you normally do. In short, offer yourself as you are, and spread love, not hate. Then don’t sweat the consequences and move on.


@Stevyy thank you but I’m not going to start reporting people to admin, that would be too confrontational for me. She’s been here eight years or so and that profile has survived that long, and it could be a cultural ‘issue’.

@eta55 thank you for your long message (it’s peccadillo, by the way :smile: ) I agree and have sent a travel poster card with a (reasonably) friendly message.

Thanks to everyone else too. :wave:


I once reported the profile of a girl who had written “I only want to receive postcards with dragons”. @meiadeleite wrote her and asked her to rephrase it.
I think this member being on Postcrossing for many years doesn’t justify her attitude. She won’t know you reported her profile, don’t worry!


I have had such profiles a few times and did not like them as well. Nowadays I would send a simple advertisment card without envelope and with only “Happy Postcrossing!” as text to fulfil my obligation. But I have a lot of free slots, so it would not bother me too much if she would not register my card.
Well, she did not exclude advertisment cards, did she?
Take one of the kind of cards that she did not exclude, put it unwritten in an envelope, add stamp, address and id to the envelope, put it in the letterbox and forget about the whole thing, that is what I would do in your position.


You have been a postcrosser for over 7 years, but if you got such a profile as an absolute newbie, it would bother you, I suppose. I’m glad I was a newbie back in 2008, when nearly everybody sent tourist cards and people didn’t have so many requests, wishlists, do-not-wish-lists…
And in some countries, it’s not so cheap to send postcards. If I sent one from Italy to Australia (3.10 euros!), it would bother me if the recipient didn’t register it just because they don’t like it. :confused:
Anyway, I agree, we shouldn’t put too much effort in trying to please such demanding postcrossers. :slight_smile:


And that is exactly why my sentence, which you quoted, refers just to me. The original poster asked what I would do.
What I would do in her position, is written in my second paragraph.
However, those demanding profiles annoy a lot!


Her? :anguished:

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