I really respect everyone who writes that they would still send a great card with a great message to very picky profiles.
Iâll admit, Iâm sometimes a bit bitter, and I can only actively remember one profile in my whole PC career, where it was SO dreadfully demanding (and of course with unusual demands) that I sent a card I wanted to get rid of (and knew she probably wouldnât like) and just wrote âhappy Postcrossingâ (in my usual handwriting, which is difficult to read!). Am I proud of this moment? No. Do I regret it? Also no.
Itâs been a few years since then (didnât know I should report this Profile at the time) and have not come across any Profile that has been so demanding since.
Sometimes, if I feel overwhelmed with choosing a card because I am afraid that the person will not like it because it is not on their wishlist, Iâll look through some of their received cards and see if other people send them things not on their list (spoiler: more often than not, other people have sent cards not on their list!). It makes me feel a little more confident like âif they did it, so can I!â
I wonder if many of us suffer from people pleasing? I know I do. So finally being able to not sweat the small stuff when getting demanding profiles (usually) has been very relieving for me.
Also, I think @S_Tuuliaâs comment above about how women and men go about thinking about these things differently very interesting.
Hi Ricky!!
Welcome back - to the wonderful world of postâxâing - yes it is wonderful
Many of us are here looking for something or the other, arenât we? For some, itâs reflected in their "demanding profileâ as you put it, for others like us, itâs
Please donât get frustrated & enjoy this as you did earlier. Itâs not an obligation to match the demands, is it?
After all, âweâre here to connect, the collect part is a simple by product of it â
Thanks for sharing & hope we come across some where.
I wouldnât acknowledge their demands at all - thatâs not what Postcrossing is about.
Youâve spent some of your precious time & energy checking to see if you had anything that would fit their demands & you donât, so itâs time to do something for yourself.
Iâd chose a card Iâd like to see on my wall & send it out & donât worry about their reaction. At worst, they might send you a grumpy return message, but youâve done your best & now you get to enjoy the rest of Postcrossing which is mostly full of friendly & welcoming folks who be delighted to receive any card from you.
Donât let the few demanding, grumpy types take that Postcrossing joy away from you!
This message pops up when drawing addresses these days:
âThis is a periodic reminder that Postcrossing is about connecting, not collecting. Itâs about embracing serendipity! Feel free to use profiles as inspiration, but please know that you can send any postcard youâd like or have available. Happy Postcrossing!â
And a reminder to collectors, that Postcrossing is not about collecting:
âUse your profile to write about yourself.
Your accountâs profile is the place where others can learn more about you, so please enter a few sentences. If you mention which postcards you like in your profile, keep in mind that others are not obliged to send you a postcard that matches your preferences. You can not make demands about what you want or donât want to receive.â
I know demanding profiles can dampen your enthusiasm or feel annoying. It happens to me as well, despite having a stash of several thousand cards. Luckily, I live in a very touristy area and can get viewcards of my region easily - be it cities, historic monuments or landscapes. So this is what I send if all else fails.
But as others have written in this thread, many postcrossers with seemingly demanding profiles have surprised me by responding very positively to non-wishlist cards I sent, and actually these happy encounters are very much the majority!
Spot on! I paint all of my cards (but Iâm no Da Vinci!) but I will try to do something that matches the wish list. I let panic set in at times then I remember that I joined Postcrossing for a different reason than others. Donât apologise for not meeting a request. Send a lovely, heartfelt message and find joy in knowing you have made a connection with one of the 8 billion people on our wonderful planet
Besides the places others have already pointed out, thereâs also a reminder right on the pagewhere you edit your profile, which says this:
â Reminder: please use your profile to write about yourself. Making demands about what you want or donât want to receive is not allowed by the Community Guidelines and may put your account at risk.â
As far as what to do in these situations, for one thing if itâs that bad you could report the profile to the Postcrossing team. Doing so doesnât really help you any, because you will never draw the same profile again, but youâll be helping people who draw their address in the future to have a more positive experience.
Besides that, I would suggest sending your least favorite card, not in an attempt to âpunishâ them or anything, but because it doesnât feel as sad as sending a card you love to someone who you donât think will appreciate it. And who knows, if youâre that different of people, maybe your least favorite card will be their favorite!
The only time I would mention not having something on a wish list is if thereâs a way to put a positive spin on it as part of a real message, for example: âI wish I had a card of X to send you, because I too love X, in fact. . .â (insert story about X.)
I donât know what the rules are on postcrossing on requestion blank cards, I personally struggle with this, it seems more about collecting cards rather than connecting. I suppose that each one their choiceâŚ
Although I like to find a card the recipient will like, I never feel obliged to do so. If I have nothing they might like, I send a card I love myself, it says something about me, I guess.
But if the profile gives me a negative feeling because of too demanding about postcards I just send a card I want to get rid of ( in a polite way: my least favorite card) but still I write down something nice and sometimes decorate the card as well, done my part. Well that probably says also something about me. Luckily this hardly happened so far. Reminder: Postcrossing is a hobby and a hobby means fun for you!
Again, you are not obligated to meet anyoneâs demand for a specific card, blank, in envelope, with ârealâ stamps or any other things they may ask for.
You are required to send a postcard. That is all. Literally anything else is above and beyond and not required.
I received a message like that once too. The user had a profile with a bunch of topics listed and I chose one that I thought I had the perfect card for. In her Hurray message, she expressed her disappointment about why I didnât send her a tourist card, because her husband is from my area and she would have liked one. Well A, tourist cards donât exist for my specific locale, I have to travel to get ones from beaches nearby. B, How would I know her husband was from here? It wasnât in her profile.
âAll postcards you receive will be written and stamped. Postcrossing is not to collect blank postcards as there is always some communication (in the postcard) from the sender to the receiver.â
I still donât get this idea that Postcrossers are not allowed to collect cards. I joined 13 years ago in hopes of adding to my Native American collection. I am still here sending out cards (doing my best to send nice ones with good stamps) and rejoicing when I get an Indigenous card. I follow all the rules, am a good member, send free cards to newbies, send free cards in the North Am forum but get shamed each time I read that my motives for participating are wrong because I am not âconnectingâ. As long as I am here I will still celebrate getting a Native cardâŚitâs my fun and no one is going to spoil that.
@Izzy2018 No one said youâre not allowed to collect or request certain cards. As long as you are following the rules, anything additional you request (as long as it is a request and not a demand) is fine.
I have sent what I thought was the âperfectâ card, only to receive a basic Thank You. Disappointing, but doesnât deter me from trying to send what I feel is exactly what theyâd like in future.
I guess if there are hard to please -profiles, there are hard to please -senders as well.
But to me, just as I can send any card, any registration is ok too. The amount of words (at least from me) doesnât tell how much or little I like the card. Sometimes I just quickly register, and maybe later read more carefully.
But I feel a little guilty now too, as I have told just write thank you (if they donât know what to write).
For some reason I think itâs good to register quickly, and not wait the writing mood, because then maybe the other one waits, maybe I forget.
And I also understand it can feel disappointing, when/if some kind of comment was expected.
If thatâs the feeling, it is.
Yes, there is such a thing as a disappointing Hurray message as far as Iâm concerned. Itâs momentary, where I get over it. Weâre talking once in a great while, not that Iâm expecting that often at all. For example: the person mentioned being a huge dog person, so it was a dog image card, and dog stamps. That sort of thing âŚ
- to the wonderful world of postâxâing - yes it is wonderful
â
Reminder: please use your profile to write about yourself. Making demands about what you want or donât want to receive is not allowed by the 
( in a polite way: my least favorite card) but still I write down something nice and sometimes decorate the card as well, done my part. Well that probably says also something about me. Luckily this hardly happened so far. Reminder: Postcrossing is a hobby and a hobby means fun for you!
