Hard to Please?

Then you send a postcard that you have. Maybe one you find beautiful. A wishlist is a list of wishes, not a list of demands. You are allowed to send any postcard you want. Just keep them familyfriendly to be safe.
Once you have drawn an address, you have to send a postcard. It is not possible to cancel an address.

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just send a card you have.
And donā€™t feel sorry for it. Itā€™s perfectly fine.

Wishes are exactly that - wishes, nothing you need to follow strictly or at all.

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Thank you for your answer. I donā€™t have to worry about it anymore after reading your answer.

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I think they are afraid that their card will not be registered at all.

Iā€™ve heard there are a few out there who refuse to register disappointing cards, so sometimes when some are taking much longer than they should I think about that.

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That sounds as if you pulled 10 or 20 of such profiles already, while having sent 116 so far at all.

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All this agonizing over whether the person is going to be disappointed ā€¦ a worst case scenario as far as Iā€™m concerned would be that they are somewhat disappointed, so their Hurray message isnā€™t the most effusive.

I donā€™t care about the Hurray message but I donā€™t want to disappoint my fellow Postcrossers because by the time Iā€™ve sent a card each one is likely to have cost me around $5-6 (card, decoration, expensive postage) ā€” this is not a cheap hobby, so I would rather my cards actually managed their goal of bringing joy. I donā€™t agonise after the card is sent, but I certainly do before.

That said, I donā€™t go along with the extremely picky profiles and I certainly never send blank cards in an envelope.

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Thatā€™s possible but might work to their own detriment. If too many cards are sent to them but end up unregistered it might just be that their account gets temporarily deactivated per FAQ

ā€œIf the majority of the postcards sent to you (or by you) are getting lost, Postcrossing might temporarily block your account from exchanging more postcards until the situation returns to normal.ā€

Hiya, Iā€™m not keeping track, but it certainly feels like a lot. I realize that what folks consider to be ā€˜demandingā€™ varies by personality, cultural norms, and many other variables.

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I agree that it might be a cultural thing to understand ā€œwishā€ as something that has to be fulfilled, but there is no necessity to do so. All you have to do is to send a postcard.

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And also maybe generation gap, gender thing etc too, because, itā€™s true girls and boys are raised differently. Girls and women are/used to be raised that they are kind, please others, almost like little servants, so almost we should read invisible hints and men think ā€œshall we have have coffee soonā€ can mean, the woman prepares the coffee. Even my boss who is not stupid, can say, ā€œone could do thisā€ and he thinks he said to me, can you please do this. And I think heā€™s only thinking aloud. It took so long to get how he communicates, and he thought I donā€™t listen. So, no wonder women are thought to discuss what did this and that mean and finding meanings in tone and unsaid things, because we are raised to do so. (Of course not all, just generalised view to this.)

So, no wonder if someone is raised to read little hints and wishes as commands, they can think, I wish I get this card sometimes, can mean, this card needs to be sent to me.

They probably are asking these from those members who have these cards already. Many members have huge amounts of empty cards.

And what is expensive to others, is just normal cost in some country, like normal shop bought postcards in Finland are often more expensive than any special series postcard.

I donā€™t think no one really is thinking people go shopping for them, and if they are, I donā€™t care :smile:

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For anyone who lists cards theyā€™d like to receive but are worried that theyā€™re too picky:

  • Include some open-ended requests. ā€œFor March and April, send me a card with lots of red!ā€ or ā€œSend me a card that makes you feel happy when you look at it!ā€ Or anything else that occurs to you ā€“ a card with a lot of contrast, a card thatā€™s weird in some way, a card that no one else will like. Whatever it may be!
  • And you can always say, ā€œSend me any card and tell me why you chose it.ā€

Iā€™ve seen profiles with lists of cards I simply cannot obtain without ordering expensively from overseas. Such lists can be frustrating when I cannot find a single match among the many postcards I already have! But when the profile includes a prompt like those above, itā€™s a huge relief. I can always manage to find a card with this or that colour prominently featured. And itā€™s fun to choose a card and talk about why itā€™s meaningful to me.

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Goodmorning! I am new to postcrossing abd i am confused.

I just recieved the adres to who to send a card to.
Butā€¦ the profile is emptyā€¦ the Only thing this person write is: Please send the card in an enveloppe if you can.

What should i do? Should i write on the postcard or not?

Welcome to postcrossing!

The only requirement is that you send a postcard. It is up to you what postcard you send, and how you send it.

People can make requests on their profiles, but you are not required to meet them as long as you do send a postcard, so it is your choice to write it or not, and to put it in an envelope or not.

Just guessing, but I think if they also preferred to receive blank cards, they would have said that.

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Thank you, this is helpful. I think i will just write it and put it in an envelop for her.

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You are obliged to write and send the card, but itā€™s your choice, whether in the envelope or not, written or notā€¦ :slight_smile:

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some do just mention it because they got their cards destroyed in the past so I would write on the card I guess.

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The US machines are hard on cards so some folks like them to travel safely in an envelope, but itā€™s not required. Write and mail the card as you wish

i agreeā€¦i like the listsā€¦rather send someone a card they like than try to guess.
im usually disappointed when there isnt any list or profile.

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Hello all, I am getting back into Postcrossing after a long hiatus and remembering why I love it so much. In my profile I have a list of general themes which I enjoy, but specify multiple times that I am happy with any card I could ever possibly receive. Hereā€™s why I do that: postcrossers are not made of money, time, energy, or resources. How can I demand certain things? I am excited to receive any card, truly, because I love the excitement of receiving mail from across the world and seeing what someone else sent me. I have been blessed to receive so many interesting and beautiful cards and items this way.

But my excitement decreased a bit when I got an address with a really incredibly demanding wishlist, with a huge list of ā€œNOsā€ and ā€œDo not send thisā€ and even saying to check their received cards so they donā€™t receive duplicates. to me, this is not in the spirit of postcrossing. I feel hurt when I get a profile on this free, kind, loving website that is making demands of me so they can ā€œcollectā€ ā€œniceā€ postcards. I checked the rules and donā€™t see what other posts on here refer to as wishlists being against the rules.

I have a large collection of cards on many different topics. In my area, it is hard to access tourist cards of where I live and I canā€™t just spend lots of money to buy cards when I already have a whole box. I also am not able to easily go shopping. I also donā€™t know that I feel I should have to do that to satisfy this postcrosser, honestly.

What do I do in this situation? I feel itā€™s so unfair to use postcrossing this way. And I also donā€™t have a single card to satisfy their specifications. Of course I will send them a card but knowing they will be upset with whatever I send is scary to me. Is it okay to say on the text of the card that I do not have a card that satisfies their list, but I read it and I tried? Iā€™m just frustrated because this type of profile, type of demanding is not natural to me and I find I donā€™t understand it.

Just wondering if anyone know where the anti-demands rule is and what to do in this situation. What do you do when you get a somewhat ā€œmeanā€ and ā€œdemandingā€ profile? Just wondering if I am alone in this frustration.

Thank you all for making up this wonderful community.

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