Thank you messages

I have just had my first ever unfriendly ‘thank you’ message. After thanking me for the card she was dismissive and near-hostile towards my own country, the people, the traditions, even the pets. I was shocked, especially since in my postcard I was supportive to her country and said how pleased I was to draw her address. :anguished:

That’s sad. Maybe she’s got problems with who-knows-what and needed some kind of valve? You never know the reasons for people to misbehave…
Anyway: If the thank you message was really insulting, you could forward it to the :postcrossing: Postcrossing support.
Otherwise: Forget about it and enjoy every friendly thank you message you will receive in the future even more :slight_smile:

5 Likes

After insulting The Queen, she thought it was funny, with a “lol”. Cross cultural ‘jokes’ like that are dangerous territory.

2 Likes

The pets? But they are so cute… :pleading_face:

3 Likes

When I experience people like this, I try to tell myself that they are an unhappy person, who tries to make other people unhappy. It wasn’t anything to do with you, or your postcard, they just wanted to be miserable and spread it around.

Engaging with these people achieves nothing, the only course to retain your sanity is to tell yourself they are a tiny minority and out of your control, and try to leave it in the past.

I am not so good at taking this advice myself! I have literally complained to my therapist about a grumpy postcrossing encounter! (one, out of about 5000 now).

To put a positive spin on things, I have been noticing lately that people are actively trying to engage more on both cards and Hurray messages - very few doing the one-line ‘thank you’ or ‘Happy Postcrossing’. So this person truly is a minority.

12 Likes

Now that I’ve sent her a card, I won’t get one from her will I? :confused:

No, at least when she only has one account.

Wow…to me, that sounds like a person who basically has something to complain about in everything, just to feel better about herself. It’s not you or your card (or your country, pets…).

I’m sorry that this has happened to you :frowning:

5 Likes

Don’t worry, inadequate people are found everywhere, even in Postcrossing :pensive:
Once I pulled out the address of a person who loved appliques. I sent him a special postcard with an old craft in my country (vytinanka), which looks like an applique.
In his message, he wrote that he did not like the postcard and called me a fat gypsy cow.

I have once received an “extra” thank-you message from a Chinese postcrosser who was very angry that I didn’t use Chinese but English and Japanese in my profile, saying that I am “traitor of China” and he is going to report me to their
authorities. The message was almost like a dictionary of swear words that I even somewhat appreciated that effort :laughing:

After that message there are no more messages can actually make me mad, so that’s a plus I think :laughing: Though if I receive insulting or offensive ones I will report them to the moderator. It is not about if I care these troll messages or not. It is simply because they just shouldn’t do so.

3 Likes

Wow, some people really put a lot of effort in bad words.

If get a card I can’t find anything good at (it had happen not so lang a ago - card showed uninteresting picture, just the ID was written on it, no greetings, just a big stamp to fill the space…)
I only send a single “Thanks”, well at least someone had put a stamp on it and my address.

If I really like the card I can get very chatty :sweat_smile:
Most I writte at least something postive about it, the sender should not feel bad.

6 Likes

I’m so sorry to hear what kind of messages some of you guys got, that’s awful! :open_mouth:
Luckily, I don’t remember any messages of this kind to me… but my sister once was heavily insulted by a Postcrosser. He sent her some kind of artsy card that was meant to show a certain picture, which she told him she couldn’t see in it. He then insulted her, adding that she was a failure at her job (she was training to be a kindergartener then). I helped her file a report for the Postcrossing team. :slight_smile:
He sent me an (awful) card with at least a polite message some time later and I couldn’t get over myself but only sent a simple “thanks” as the thank you message.

1 Like

Oh wow, some people… Good thing most of us are nice and decent human beings, but sad that there are the rude ones in the lot too :frowning:

I have once been called by the B word, but it was because I declined a private swap offer. For after thought, I am quite happy I didn’t take that offer. Who knows what they were planning to send me.

1 Like

Really scary to read this. :grimacing:
Luckily I never had anything like that before, always just nice or very nice Happy Mails. Often even very detailed really nice answers. :heart_eyes:
And every now and then “Thanks for the postcard” but that’s ok too.

I would not react to a nasty or rude Happy Mail. If I did, just wish you a nice day again. :blush: :innocent:
But don’t start a discussion about anything.

1 Like

AWE sorry to hear that…that is awful :crying_cat_face: well hoping for better experiences ahead for you !!

No…

I am so, so sorry that happened to you, @LapNas. :broken_heart: That is not only terribly rude, but also a violation of the Community Guidelines:

There’s no room in Postcrossing for hate speech or hateful imagery that attacks any person or group based on, but not limited to, their race, ethnicity, nationality, religion, disability, medical condition, body size, age, sexual orientation, gender or gender identity.

2 Likes

Who are these people that say such awful things?! :face_with_raised_eyebrow: The reason I joined Postcrossing–which I imagine is similar for most of us–is that I have the pleasure of talking to diverse people from around the globe, and sharing a physical representation of our connection, without having to buy a plane ticket. If I wanted simply to insult people, I could do that easily without setting up an account and paying for postage. :sweat_smile:

@SailingBy, for the record, I believe the Queen is a woman of profound intelligence, bravery, and grace, as was her mother, independently of one’s views on monarchies in general. :heart: I just wanted to share my opinion to counteract what your Postcrosser said! (Even if this were not my opinion, I know better than to say it directly to an English citizen. :sweat_smile:)

@Hitokage, I admire your sense of humor in the face of confrontation! :heart: Bravo, you! And I agree with your reporting egregious violations; even if I am not particularly hurt by a message, I certainly would not want another Postcrosser to endure the same experience. (Example: I once received an inappropriate solicitation and reported it immediately, because there are children who use the site. The mods were wonderfully prompt in closing his account.)

@Axolotl_, nothing turns people away from art faster than a pretentious fanatic who shames you for your understanding (or lack thereof) of a particular work. :joy: That is so unfortunate, and I hope your sister knows that she is always entitled to her own interpretation of art, judgment-free!

And to everyone who has had a nasty experience, I empathize and send you a virtual hug. :heart:

8 Likes

I sent one card this year, and there wasn’t any wishlist in the profile, nor any other indication about they prefered postcards. I then got a thank you message, where the receiver said they didn’t like such postcards as I sent, “so be careful!”. “Well, sorry for you then, since you didn’t tell your preferences in your profile!” was my thought!

3 Likes

I never received such kind of rude registration message, I’m quite lucky I guess.
I once felt it’s a bit rude while people registered a card without writing a simple message, as writing ‘thank you’ just cost you several seconds. Even the card didn’t fit your wishlist(as sometimes some wishlists are hard to fulfill), I think it’s a proper thing to thank people who sent a card to you. Anyway I am now okay with that as I would be glad when my cards arrived to those receivers who really appreciated my choice, their happiness makes me happy as well.
So don’t let those messages ruin your mood.

2 Likes