Spur of the moment cards

Do you ever send unasked for cards to other members (whose address you already have, obviously) just because you felt like it? Perhaps it was something you knew they were looking for, or just something you hoped they’d like.

Just curious.


I’ve done it on occasion.
I feel that since we’re part of a nice community, we care a lot for each other.


I like to think so too, even if I’m very new here.


I’ve sent a few, usually after receiving a message from someone who happens to mention something that reminds me of a card I have, maybe the breed of their dog or a flower they like. It’s fun to surprise them. :grin:

And I’ve received a few surprises, too. It’s funny how one postcard can sometimes really make your day. :blush:


Oh yes!! Sometimes I’d see a card that reminds me of a person that I’ve swapped with prior and send it to them… I think it’s a nice surprise that’ll make them happy


Getting the surprise card from you brightened my whole day! It’s still on my refrigerator!


I sent a couple recently, it just felt like a fun thing to do. I mean, who doesn’t like a nice surprise?
Well, as long as they don’t feel obligated to reciprocate in any way at least. That’s not the point.

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I don’t send surprise mail because I hate receiving surprise mail, but I know I am the weird minority here. It is just that it makes me too uncomfortable and I will not enjoy it at all. I prefer much more that if anybody ever wants to send anything for me, they ask first before sending so we can make it a trade instead (or they can surprise somebody else who will love it). I like Postcrossing because the strangers never meet again, but I don’t want any surprises or being contacted with mail otherwise.

I have got few surprise cards before, so I know I don’t like it.


That is something that did cross my mind, I wouldn’t want to make anyone uncomfortable for any reason. It may happen unintentionally with an official card, of course, but it would be really sad if it happened with a card like this.
I guess I’d mostly do it if I’d had got to know the person a little already, and thought they’d appreciate an extra card.
It’s an important thing to bear in mind though, thanks for bringing it up.


oh yeah definitely. i only send such surprise cards to people i feel like i sort of know because i’m sure @Kompis-Ninna isn’t the only one who would not be happy with it. which i totally get, i love the one time thing about postcrossing as well, i don’t feel like keeping in touch with a lot of people. sometimes i see someone a lot on the forum though and they mention something or their birthday is coming up… but like i said, i try to be careful about it.


Yes I do very often.

I met so many wonderful people through Postcrossing, a lot of them also in reality, and some of them got very close friends over the years. When I see a card I know they’d like or when I read something they’ve written and it feels like they could need a smile or something like this I send them a surprise card :blush:


I recently thought of it, but worried it might be perceived as pushing myself onto someone as an unasked-for penpal. So, it’s helpful to see that some members do reach out, outside the Postcrossing random selection process.

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I would be so happy to get a random card from someone for no reason

I think I would think twice about it to a random Postcrossing name drawn. But if it is someone I interacted with on the forum. I would


I do especially with my swap partners. if there is a holiday I try to send a card

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Oh yes, I’ve done it! :slight_smile: Not only here on the forum, but outside postcrossing as well. I think of someone or happen to find the perfect card for a certain person and off it goes. I don’t expect anything in return, I just enjoy writing and sending cards and hoping to put a smile on the recipient’s face! :slight_smile:


I’ve done it and I’ve received them.

I love them!

I just received a few for my birthday and it made my day!

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Thank you @Jarulf and @mchay! I am so happy to see support. I have actually felt really bad about not liking surprise mail, especially when I know that the sender wanted to be nice and the only reason for them to send was to make me happy… and then it did exact opposite… This is the reason why I don’t have my birthday listed here either as it seemed to attract more surprises.

I am sure that most of people enjoy the surprise mail, so I am not here to spoil anybody’s fun :slight_smile: And we that do not enjoy it… Well at least I am doing my best to polite encourage the kind members to send their surprises to somebody else. Things like that usually get mentioned pretty quickly so I would assume if you are having more regular conversations here, you will pretty soon learn if they do or do not like surprises.

What I am wondering about is what you think would be the best way for me to respond when I get this kind of mail that makes me uncomfortable? I haven’t yet figured out the best way, so right now I have been simply pretending that I never received anything (which honestly feels bit cowardly way to deal with it, but I feel too bad to just say I didn’t like it) Would you be happier if you got told directly that your surprise was not wanted or would it be better to ignore or straight up lie?


I think I can understand how these kinds of cards can make someone uncomfortable, and how difficult and stressful it must be to handle the situation gracefully when they do arrive.

I don’t think there is anything wrong with not enjoying them. We’re all different and react differently to the same kind of situation, we all have our quirks or even mental health struggles. I know I do.

I’m not really sure how I’d handle this myself but I think I’d be as upfront about not wanting surprise cards as I was comfortable with. To reduce the ‘risk’ of getting any, perhaps I’d have a standard text I’d put in any ‘first-contact’ messages with another postcrosser.
Also mention it on my profile.

“Thank you for the lovely card bla bla bla… If you’re the kind of person who likes to send surprise cards, please don’t send any to me. For various reasons I don’t enjoy them as much as others do.”

Idk, something along those lines perhaps.

If I got one, I’d thank them but also add that I prefer not to get more as they tend to stress me, even if I appreciate the kindness and effort. I’d also have this as a standard text to copy and paste, and just change any small details such as the name of the sender.


That is also a good point, something I hadn’t exactly thought about but makes absolute sense. I really don’t want to put someone else in an uncomfortable situation, this hobby is about having fun, so anything I did to lessen the fun for someone else would be the exact opposite.

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Maybe you could state it on your Forum profile?

I personally prefer to get told that someone doesn’t like surprises.

To figure out that someone told me a lie just because one has not the courage to tell me that surprises aren’t welcome would make me extreme angry and sad.

Don’t forget: if you tell you haven’t receive it could happen that the person sends out another one, maybe this time in a more expensive way like registered mail.

So I would prefer a honest statement :slight_smile:

Maybe also a compromise like: “Thanks for your nice card. I really like it but to be honest I am not a friend of surprises for several reasons” or some like that. I think you don’t have to explain the reasons exactly. This little answer should be enough.