Already did that Though I have to say my forum profile sounds like I just dislike everything⌠Could work with the wording a bit.
That is a good point. And your example sounds really nicely polite, I think I will respond along those lines if I ever get more surprise cards. It seems that most of people check the profiles first so it hasnât happened in months.
this. i think on the forum people get a lot of swap requests so itâs a fair point. and iâd rather you be honest about it than say you havenât received anything. than people will send you something again next week or next month.
If it is not expected that I send something back, then I appreciate it. But that is not always clear or at least, it wasnât for me. However, nowadays, I donât stress over this anymore and then I can enjoy it. But that also means that it might be that the sender has to wait a little until I say thank you to them, especially if I am in one of my âpostcard breaksââwhich I have occasionally when it was a bit much and I just need a break.
With some friends, I regularly exchange mail and I donât feel bad about âsurprise cardsâ at all. But with these âregularsâ, I donât feel like I have to respond to every single card I receive. I can just enjoy them without feeling as if I was given homework that I didnât ask for. But with others, I feel obliged to at least say thank you, to let them know that it arrived.
Occasionally, it happens with people who I am not very familiar with and sometimes, that makes me research very very hard why was I sent this card, who sent it, what did I do to deserve this???!!! It can be rather stressful, especially if it comes from someone who I donât feel familiar with. I can be found all over this forum and I think there are some people who think they know me very well while I donât have any recollection of who they are.
Meeting cards are a bit of an annoyance to me because of this. Participating in a postcrossing meet-up apparently means to some people that they can send you postcards from every meeting they attend from then on. Possibly just to make you happy, possibly in the hopes that you send something back to them, I am not quite sure. Sometimes, it can be rather hard to determine who sent the card, too, in the sea of signatures. Please donât send me random meeting cards if we are essentially strangers to each other!
Also, I think some people use this way to feel out potential penpals or postcardpals. But I havenât checked âInterested in private swapsâ so I receive those only very seldom.
Regardless, if it is clearly communicated why this piece of mail was sent and who sent it and possibly even what you do or donât expect in turn and if it is not done inflationary, then it can be a very nice surprise gift. I also sometimes do it myself!
Sometimes I send surprise cards for birthdays, Christmas, or Valentineâs Day, but I just sign it âFellow Postcrosserâ so the recipient doesnât feel obligated to reciprocate. I think itâs fun, and I always hope the recipient enjoys the surprise and doesnât dislike receiving it.
I would straight up lie and thank them for their card, unless I thought they might be a repeat offender. If it is just a one-off, what is the harm in saying a simple âThank you for the card!â even if in fact you are not in a thankful mood?
If I thought it might happen again, then I might say, âThank you for the card. I donât mean to be rude, but I really donât like surprise mail outside of normal Postcrossing. If you want to trade, though, please let me know!â
If I thought someone was giving my address to a third party without my permission for that other person to send me a surprise card, that would be a different story entirely. I think then I would probably contact the Admins. If they are giving out your address they are probably also giving out other peopleâs addresses, and even if that is well-meant it isnât really a good idea I think.
I think I would find that creepy if it happened to me! There isnât even anyone who I could tell to stop, just an anonymous stalker who got my address through postcrossing. You are not supposed to keep the address after sending the postcard. If I received an anonymous postcard like that, in the least I would know that someone clearly broke the rule and kept my address and is even using it without my consent. It is likely that I would report such an incident to the postcrossing team.
I think your intention is good but maybe you could sign those cards and add a sentence that you donât want anything in turn and just want to spread some happiness?
In the German forum it is absolutely customary to send and receive RAS cards.
I am very happy every time someone sends me a card âjust like thatâ.
You have to be careful, of course, and only send to people who agree that their address is still being used once you have received it.
Gosh, I had no idea it was against the rules or that folks might be creeped out. I guess because I enjoy surprises I just assume other folks do, too. I will stop doing this. Thanks for letting me know.
Wait I thought the thread was about that, sending extra stuff to people whose address you got through the official âsend a postcardâ, and the address is visible to you until your official card arrivesâŚ
I agree that that would be creepyâŚ
For the rest, hmm, I have regular postcard pals and sometimes I send a card out of the regular back-and-forth, especially if I go on holiday, but they are people I have a regular exchange with. I never thought of doing it to people I swapped with just once, Iâd feel a bit pushy like âbe my friend!â âI think of you!â And maybe they donât even remember I swapped with them 3 months ago.
I donât know how Iâd feel receiving random mail, I think it will depend on the situation.
Actually whenever Iâve done a RAS, which is also rarely, I somehow feel quite uncomfortable as a sender, like this person doesnât even know me, do they even want this card or is it their friend/mum/child projecting their love of cards but the recipient doesnât even care? And you rarely get even told that the card arrived at allâŚ
I never really stated this in my original post, but I was mostly thinking about people we were already talking to, however we got their address. I have not had any long exchanges with anyone whoâs address I pulled, so I was probably unconsciously assuming forum members. I hadnât really thought this through when I posted (itâs the Internet, it happens!). I should probably have made that clearer, on the other hand, the discussion is interesting.
Iâm learning stuff, you people make me think.
Getting a card from someone I had no idea who it was, with no explanation or anything⌠Not sure Iâd like that, it would probably depend on the message and choice of card.