Postcrossing stress

Close to my experience as well, but I do less tagging rather than stopping entirely.


I hear you, and can relate to a lot of your stories. I too get stressed when I sent too many, and had to be careful about everything which is when and who and what.

But the worst for me was when nothing arrives. Especially March was like the month all post died (after showing signs of dying already from Feb and Jan). Stuff sent in April would occasionally arrive, but not March. Having selected carefully so many postcards, with correct postage and then… Nothing reaching the recipient (or ok not nothing but like 10%) is so discouraging.

I still have not joined a new tag or drawn a new address. I feel that post will never work again. It will be like throwing postcards into the bin. And I am sending good cards, I don’t want them to be in vain.

So I stopped as it’s not fun like this. Sure, post is a slow process, but it hasn’t been that bad before, now is worse than snail mail. Snails would have swam the oceans by now.


I understand, but for me it’s more about excitement than stress…
But I have this kind of worries, yes, and I like this sensation :blush:
Well, I always try to reply within 24 hours, but if I have exams (I am a student), within 48 hours. But it is always time to take some time, so don’t worry, keep calm and enjoy Postcrossing!

1 Like

Heej, how odd, that is also my experience.
Not before in the 2 years I’ve been participating have so many cards NOT arrived. I also picked them with care, wrote the addresses clearly, stuck enough stamps. Such a pity. And indeed disappointing.


I’m New here, and i wasn’t stressed UNTIL i found it HARD, no sorry basically impossible to find any stores that sell postcards!! seems to me i’d see them all the time before (when i didn’t NEED them) … lol… well thanks to amazon i bought some, but ya the worry about picking the right “one” to send is on my mind… But it’s been picked, written on and now to head to the post office to mail it :slight_smile:


I’m relatively new, but had a couple of recipients I thought would be hard to please, but appeared to genuinely like the cards I sent. The toughest angle would be ‘humour’ which can fall flat.


Dear @PostiePanda , you definitely belong here! Who wouldn’t worry a bit or feel uncertain at times? It is only natural to have those feelings.

Sounds like you appreciate handmade cards and would love to craft yourself, but feel unsure if you are good enough. One can do art in so many ways! Have you already seen this thread?

If you do not dare to share your own art just yet, but would love to receive handmade cards, there is this tag.

And you can read the posts and browse the galleries of Handmade RR. It is a friendly and encouraging community. I find crafting cards relaxing, as I fully concentrate on making them, not worrying about other things. Sometimes they don’t turn out quite as I imagined and there are techniques I don’t master at all, but I always try my best and it is fun.


Not forgetting expense! :heavy_dollar_sign: :heavy_dollar_sign: :heavy_dollar_sign: :bouncing:


Hi @Milosmom, you should have seen me in Toronto over the long weekend, hunting down cards like a mad shopper. Tourism still hasn’t kicked in full steam, so not so easy. Except at the usual places like museums and galleries. Thankfully, got a fab stash at the Art Gallery of Ontario (AGO) and some at the Aga Khan Museum.
But, yet, it is difficult to find cards. Have you tried Etsy, Zazzle, redbubble?


Removed due to privacy


@Elisama_Omodei , we’re justing talking about this last week! Postcrossing is wonderful, but sometimes I feel more anxious that I already am.

Hi, lol no i haven’t tried any other online places really, i will!! I live in NB (Moncton) so shediac, Bouctouche, Fundy are touristy spots and i KNOW i’ve seen postcards at the dollarstore’s around here before… lol ya it was a no go after i requested an address :frowning: (i would even like to try DIY postcards but doubt my ability … lol, but have always loved getting handmade postcards from nieces and nephews that live away.


Where can I find these postcard mailing forum activities?

Stress is part of life, over stressing is not. We all have expectations for our postcards, after all they’re a reflection of us.
I do my best when choosing a postcard and what to write in it. Once sent, is out of my hands.
You’re not responsible for other’s expectations.
Be kind to yourself. That’s more important.


You will become a “member” very soon (you will get a notification and a badge for reaching trust level 2) and then you will get access to #games-activities -section. There you can find tags, round robins and other games.


Hi @Elisama_Omodei, basically I was talking about the section.

I mostly participate in Round Robins - a group of people where everyone sends to everyone else. You usually have 2-4 weeks to send out the cards and with international participants, the cards arrive spread out over some time too - so no avalanche in your mailbox :smile:
Tags are fun too (basically a neverending chain), especially if you want to send a card right away, but you have to keep your own tabs on what to send, who owes you a card, and making sure each has the other’s address.


I can relate to your post. Being still quite new and very excited about this new hobby I participated in several Round Robins and Tags as well as the official postcrossing all at once. I found out that receiving cards, registwring, answering etc takes time too which I had not factored in. As a consequence I am now more mindful of where I participate. but still life can take an unexpected direction and again things can become stressful. I think it is important to remember at these moments, that writing and sending postcards is our hobby, not a job.



Thank you for sharing and the courage for sharing your worries!
I agree with the many kind posts before.
Not sure if someone already mentioned this opportunity:
If you do create handmade cards … did you share some in the mailart/handmade topic?

… then you can get direct feedback on some pieces.

With your penpals you could simply ask them what they think to a good time to reply.

Have a good time postcrossing & don’t worry! :grinning:


As others said before, just send your card, no matter how the receiver receives it. Don’t worry too much about it. If you want to decorate the card or make your own postcards, do it! If you don’t feel confident in your skills, maybe start with the Handmade Postcard Tag :scissors: simple - easy - fun.

Very important: Don’t judge a postcrosser by their profile. Some very kind and friendly people hide behind quite rude profiles and vice versa. I guess that most people in the Postcrossing community are not English native speakers and writing is usually more open to miscommunication than speaking person to person. There are also culture clashes. A little bit of allowance goes a long way here. Just because someone comes across as rude doesn’t mean they intend to be rude. ^^

And shit happens. If you accidentally send something that’s too heavy, there is still the option to apologize. I accidentally recently sent something that was half an inch too high! D: Luckily, the receiver didn’t have to pay anything for my mistake and they even said they liked the note by the postal service because it made the card even more special. :sweat_smile: Things like that happen and then we can learn from them. Why worry about a hypothetical event that is unlikely to happen and can be resolved with an apology and eventually a resend if it does happen?

Sometimes, I also feel like I have nothing to write about or I don’t feel like writing, and then I draw something instead. It doesn’t have to be beautiful. Have you seen what people can call art nowadays which sells for millions? I can do that, too, for free! XD

I also had the same experience as apparently very many people in this topic. I overdid it so much, I needed a year long break from Postcrossing. The welcome I received when I came back was very nice though, even if I still had to send and report a few cards.

I participate in forum games much more thoughtfully nowadays and only if I know that it won’t be too much stress.
I don’t join big Round Robin groups anymore, for example. I don’t deal very well with too many cards that I have to send all at once, especially if I do not know when the group will be full.
And I report my cards often only once a week and not immediately when I receive them. :face_with_hand_over_mouth: The other option would be: to immediately say thank you but nothing else. And I like to, well, write a good long thank you message. But I cannot do both. Either an elaborate or a quick short thank you. And the genuine long reply won for me, even if the senders have to wait a few days for that.
I do not have penpals anymore. (Inofficially, I still do but in my mind, they are just normal friends that I like to send mail to. But there is no pressure to reply because I don’t have to and they don’t have to, nobody is disappointed if there is no reply and everybody is happy when they do receive something. :smiling_face: – and there are also the same people on the forum who I tag and who tag me back and forth and we participate in the same Round Robins – those, I also consider as my friends, but there is no pressure to regularly send anything.)
I barely do official postcrossing still because some of the profiles can be a bit annoying and I am very much in love with the forum where I can choose whom I send what on my own terms.
I even created a Round Robin with small groups where the only rule is that there are no rules. No pressure whatsoever – only a lot of fun in the Goody Two Shoes :ballet_shoes: Chaotic Nonsense RR!

You just have to try out what works and what doesn’t for you. :slight_smile:


About response times with penpals, people who love snail mail usually enjoy the slow pace of it, so there is no obligation to respond immediately. When I send a letter I know it will travel for several days, then they will read it, think about it, and wait for a good time to write back. That’s part of what makes real letters special, the fact that the response is not too rushed :slightly_smiling_face:

Most of us really enjoy the part where we’ve sent a letter and can sit back and wait for a reply (hence using snail mail in the 21st century at all) and sometimes a long wait means that by the time a letter does arrive, the recipient is already looking forward to writing one again :mailbox_with_mail: :smiley:

I’ve also found that slower-paced pen friendships tend to last longer. Think of it this way, your penpal might also be stressing out about keeping up, they finally check a letter to you off their “to do” list, then before they know it another letter from you arrives. Oh the pressure! They might even end up feeling guilty that you respond immediately and any delay keeps being on their end. “Sharing the burden” by not rushing a response can take pressure off both of you, and keep the correspondence enjoyable for the long term.