Passive agressive message

I think this is the right place to vent…

I received a couple of days ago a card from a European country where the sender was “very surprised to receive an address in Lebanon, for [they, the sender] should think that it’s (sic) inhabitants have more urgent things on their mind than sending postcards around the world.”

I have to admit, this card partly offended me, and partly made me very sad.

To my knowledge there are only two people who are active postcrossers in Lebanon: my wife and myself. Despite the economic crisis that Lebanon is passing through (devaluation of the currency, electricity problems, fuel shortages, medication shortages, and widespread corruption to name a few problems) my wife and I have found a way to escape through postcards as one of the few inexpensive hobbies left to pursue. The postal service has not raised its prices yet and that’s how we can afford to send and receive the large stash of postcards that we have.

It’s sad that there are some that think that just because there’s an economic crisis, that the people in Lebanon should suddenly stop their inexpensive hobbies.

My wife and I are planning to leave Lebanon at some point and go back to Spain (waiting for some paperwork).


I can totally understand that you’d be offended & sad Mazen by receiving such unthoughful comments.

Postcrossing does open many people up to learning new things about new people & other countries, but there is also some real ignorance & many unhelpful biases that come out from Postcrossers as well.

One of the comments I make regularly in this Forum, is to not assume that your worldview or what you think about why & how other people participate in Postcrossing is correct or right.

People need to be more curious, more open & more willing to learn & understand what people’s lives are really like all over the world.


Yup! Lots of ignorant people who just can’t help themselves. They suffer from foot in mouth disease.

You don’t have to prove you’ve been kind, considerate and generous! You have been all those to me and many other people. :heart: :hibiscus:


That is not acceptable. I think people should not be treated by such reasons.

In fact, Mazen is kind. I had a swap with Mazen. Though it took a long time for his postcard to arrive, it is a very good postcard, well-decorated and a good introduction about the scenery on the postcard. Well, Maybe my card has not arrived at Mazen, but it would not be too long.

I think person is person, country is country. It could not be a reason to judge a person by the country where the person is in.
I hope this postcard did not bother you so much and I think there are not so many people behave like that.


it never even crosses my mind to write on my card about the country or person i’m sending to. i’m sure they know best what’s going on in their country and what’s good for them. only time i think i mention someone’s city or country is when something bad has happened and i hope they’re okay. it’s much more fun to write about me and where i live, so the receiver will learn something new.

please just delete the message and don’t overthink it. obviously it’s up to you to choose what you spend your money on you know best what’s the right thing to do in your own country.


Well, there’s lots of strange people in this world - there have to be some on postcrossing :wink:
I once received a postcard which was all about the writer having thought at first, when he started reading my profile, that I seemed to be an interesting person, but when he read on, he finally concluded that I was dull and unoriginal after all… :man_shrugging:


I would be delighted to draw an address in Lebanon! :smiley: I’d see it the opposite way: How great it is that there are people continuing with Postcrossing, in spite of the difficulties their country is facing.

I can understand that you felt offended and sad. This comment was misplaced and not regardful at all. To judge people like that… :pensive: In German we say “jemanden in eine Schublade stecken” (put somone in a drawer = pigeonhole someone).

I hope you’ll continue having fun with Postcrossing and don’t let it drag you down. :slightly_smiling_face:


My sympathies for receiving such a torrid message. I’m sending on the positive vibes and joyful energies to you and your wife. Keep sending joy into the world.

P.S. I sent you a PM.


But maybe this person is just wondering and can’t even imagine that he will offend the recipient with his wonder. I really don’t believe that card was written with any malicious intent.


That’s what I was thinking too! The meaning is sometimes lost because with written stuff you have no mimics or intonation.
I would wonder too, if I’d draw an address from somewhere “uncommon”


Maybe he was also from a planet where everyone is green and has three eyes…? :stuck_out_tongue_winking_eye: Anyway, you seem pretty cool to me!

@mazenfakih, I feel for you. :broken_heart: To speak your thoughts without filtering them through a little common sense is one thing, but to actually put them in writing…:sweat_smile:. Yikes. I wish you better experiences from now on!


That’s just rude.


Yes! The reader reads in bad intonation, but the writer is guilty …

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Really, we all probably have more urgent things on our mind than sending postcards…which is at least in part why we send postcards.

When I was going through a really bad time in my life, a colleage said to me “everyone’s cup is full, it’s just a question of what it is full of” Fortunately I survived that crisis, and fortunately that little bit of wisdom stuck with me.

@mazenfakih if it’s any consolation, it’s pretty likely that the sender also has a full cup…


No one is “guilty”, but the reader is allowed to experience and respond to how the postcard made them feel.

Said out loud, dry and monotone, as one would read a postcard, it may come off as rude (inference is in the hands of the reader). The only way to determine the connotation and if it was meant as rude or as inquisitive is to ask the sender point-blank.


Unfortunately, even if the intent was not malicious, it certainly came across as insensitive. Sometimes it’s hard to assume positive intent. As someone who is personally been using post-crossing to get through an incredibly painful grief process, I know firsthand how this forum can be helpful during stressful times. Not to mention the fact that the entire planet has been struggling through a pandemic! Hopefully, all of these comments will show you that you have support from people all over the world. :heartpulse:


@mazenfakih In every country there is a lot of work to do!!

I hope you can sent out a lot of cards before maybe moving. All the best for all people inhabitants and many refugees in Libanon Beirut and around.

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rapid nod It’s a social media at it’s core and some is likely to trickle through unfortunately.

I wholeheartedly agree with this comment!!! You’re loved by a whole community of people despite what is written by one person, no matter the connotation of their text.

I’m sorry you had to go through that. It’s definitely not the most tactful thing to talk about, especially the way the sender put it across. I think it just shows the ignorance and indifference of the sender.

I agree - every country faces their own struggles, so it’s not fair to highlight any country just because some issues are painted more severely and frequently in the media.

I agree with this too. It has been a pleasure to be able to interact with you even briefly through a tag which we both participated in.

I hope you focus on the positive that you can get out of Postcrossing and not have these people ruin the experience. Take care!