Negativity and disappointment are parts of postcrossing, but not important ones!
Ah, I see how someone sending out bulk, generic printed messages or advertisements is frustrating. The advertisements, there is no excuse for that. And of course this won’t be every case of bulk senders, but we cannot know about anyone’s disability or absence of disability just from a profile. Even young people can have chronic illnesses or disabilities that they choose not to disclose on their profile. They might send out 20 cards on a day that chronic pain is manageable or when their mental state allows for a more productive day. We cannot know. I have received postcards that were disappointing, but that’s not the majority. I hope that your streak of frequent bummer cards has come to an end…6 or 7 of 69 received cards is a lot!
But writing a blog takes different skills than writing a card (i.e., if you have arthritis in your hand, writing a blog every day might be easy, writing a postcard might be hard.) And people don’t always update their profiles when something happens.
And again we’re coming back to expectations. Maybe they don’t expect you to be super happy and passionate about the card they send. Maybe they feel like all they are obligated to do is to write, address, stamp, and mail the card.
I have to say I disagree, and frankly I think this is a very unkind view to take. Who are you to say that someone should not be allowed or isn’t “capable” of enjoying a hobby because of illness or disability? You say “not because [you] or anyone says it, but because you cannot” - and yet, here you are saying they cannot and should not. This is a very ableist position to take, and I sincerely hope you take some time to reflect on why.
Someone who has suffered a recent loss or severe depression may only write a line or two, typed or otherwise, and feel satisfied because it’s the only fun thing they’ve been able to do in a while. Maybe choosing the card, reading the profile, and knowing that the card arrived is what’s important to them - the process, rather than the connection. People can choose to do things, and put minimal effort in, not because they feel obligated, but because it makes them feel better, if only minutely and at great cost. Those people are welcome here!
People who requested a bunch of addresses on a good day (or hour or afternoon) and then are suddenly unable, or have an unexpected tragedy, may want to complete the cards as best they can anyway. Chronic illnesses and disability can be dynamic and change quickly. It may be that the person doesn’t want to delay the card and therefore types/prints a line or two so that the addressee doesn’t wait an indefinite amount of extra time for the card they’re owed. Those people are welcome here!
People with very, very limited ability but who enjoy sending and receiving mail, and who want to participate within their abilities, are welcome here!!
I know I’m repeating things that have been said already in this thread. And I’m very sorry that you’ve had disappointing cards! That sucks, and I hope you get some great ones soon! In fact, I’m happy to swap with you if you want a decorated, densely written card. But you do not get do discriminate against disabled and mentally or physically ill people, and say that postcrossing is not for them, because of a few disappointing cards. That is unacceptable and in fact I’m tempted to get a moderator involved.
There’s lots of talk on the forum of the “proper” way to send cards, and what is required of senders. I’ve certainly been disappointed by cards! But the reality is that Postcrossing requires only four things: a postcard, postage, the address, and the postcard ID. Anything beyond that is, technically, a bonus. Which means, by this line of thinking, people who bulk send generic messages or simply write “Happy Postcrossing!” are welcome here, because they’re holding up their end of the bargain, even if it’s not as fun to receive those cards.
When you feel like you have to start a post with “This is going to sound bad but…”, maybe think twice about why it sounds bad, and if it’s something you should be posting. Reflect on what your conscience is telling you about what you’re saying.
I don’t mean any of this to be aggressive or to come off as if I’m attacking you. I don’t think you’re the bad guy here, by any means! But I sincerely hope that you reflect a bit on what people are telling you in this thread: that those who have limited capacity to fulfill your expectations are still welcome to participate in Postcrossing. There are infinite reasons that a person may send a card that disappoints you, and the sender is not required to disclose any of them to you.
Hello Jami, not being ableist, will make it more simple for you.
I just said that if you are not able to write a proper postcard maybe you should rather not write one instead of sending something you know it is going to be disappointing, maybe I was a bit hard here but being disabled doesn’t stop you from not writing a nice, short or long text.
I know well everyone and every postcard is welcome in postcrossing and that I am no one really to tell people what to do, but using people’s disabilities as an argument to accept mediocrity sounds a bit rotten to me.
I don’t mind who writes to me, disabled or not disabled, with depression or without it, with problems or without them, but I don’t want people to think that I will like a poorly written card, I am no ones therapist and I don’t know where my postcards are coming from, when I receive those postcards I won’t judge the person and just write a nice message back
I think the main problem here is expectations and what should be a postcard, you mentioned that a postcard is everything except the text in it, you said the text was extra.
Again and again, conformism isn’t good, if we all started sending Happy postcrossing postcards pc wouldn’t be fun anymore, that is the problem of lowering the standards up to such a point, I am sure a person with a disability can work out a nice short text to put in a postcard, because writing:
My name is xxx, today my cat played with me in the grass
is better than writing:
Happy postcrossing, please check my blog and my online shop.
About moderators and threatening with “Getting a moderator involved”
They probabbly read this conversation already, and I do not see how that can help the topic, what will they do? Close my account? That wouldn’t be helpful at all.
Dear mod, if you are reading this please don’t ban me
As someone who is dealing with illness and disability, Postcrossing has been a wonderful experience. I don’t see it as treatment, though I do think I’m in a better position to make that call about my experience than you are.
I don’t assume everyone else has an illness or an ongoing trauma/problem. But I do know that everyone in life will deal with issues at some point.
I must have missed the “how to write a proper postcard” thread. (And now the mischief-maker in me thinks maybe we need an “improper postcard” tag.)
By your logic, if you enjoy taking a walk around your neighborhood, but you’re not able to walk on your feet, you should not take a walk around the neighborhood (via someone pushing you in a wheelchair) because, let’s face it, you are not capable of taking a walk. Walks are for people who are capable of walking. Also, say, you walk with a limp, so you don’t walk as prettily as someone else walks, you shouldn’t walk because after all your walk might disappoint other people who have expectations.
I do agree with you on one thing: the main problem here is expectations.
You said “If you cannot send proper postcards because your body or mental state won’t allow it maybe you shouldn’t send postcards, not because me or anyone says it, but because you aren’t capable of it.”
But what that assumes is that a. there’s a proper postcard and only one way of being capable of that and also even if you’re not capable at that degree, you should at least be able to “change something repetitive” and if you’re not, Postcrossing isn’t for you.
Just like a walk around the neighborhood isn’t for you, if you need assistance (like a wheelchair) or if your walk is not pretty enough (maybe it’s repetitive?) to meet your neighbors’ expectations.
I have had times in my life when just writing “happy postcrossing” would take all my energy. I may be there again. Does that mean I have to give up something that brings me joy because I’m not doing it right for you?
You have decided what is proper and what is lazy.
You have decided that we all should agree with those standards.
You have decided that we all would prefer the card you would prefer.
You have decided that we would all be disappointed by the card you would be disappointed by.
You have decided that you can’t imagine someone that disabled (lucky you.)
You have decided that we should all continue to improve
And don’t forget, you have decided what is true. “This is going to sound bad but is actually true.”
But no one put you in charge of making any of these decisions and what is true for you is not true for me.
And, yes, I do thank and send a kind message to everyone who is kind enough to send me a card. But that’s me.
My opinion is my opinion, I don’t decide for anyone here, it is your desition to think that I decide for everyone, while I’m just giving my opinion.
Maybe you are angry because I said that I wouldn’t be excited to receive the cards that you seem to write, but that is MY opinion, you can do whatever you want with it.
Yes I also had times where life wasn’t great and it took me five days to write a postcard, and I comprehend that it isn’t easy when we aren’t at our best, and that everyone can participate in postcrossing in a way even though it won’t always meet everyones expectations.
And no, I cannot imagine someone so disabled it can only write happy postcrossing, so it would be great if you gave me an example.
I feel like it is okay to be bad sometimes, but we have to try and improve in life as humans.
About this comment, I see anyone can missinterpretate what I’m trying to say
I said 2 things
-Postcrossing isn’t the best way to deal with your problems always, this is a true statement, postcrossing can help you like it has helped me or others but it isn’t a complete way of therapy.
-If you aren’t able to write a postcard, maybe you shouldn’t write it, I wouldn’t write a postcard with a broken hand, maybe someone would, maybe you would but it wouldn’t be comfortable, maybe someone who cannot move shouldn’t write a postcard because they cannot move. But the people I am referring with this statement is a really limited number of people who could be assisted and write it.
During this whole time you have been putting excuses for someone writing happy postcrossing up to a point where we have ended up discussing if an extremely disabled person I can’t even imagine would make me not dissapointed for receiving that card. If we apply this to members of postcrossing surely no more than 100 people will fall until this conditions. All of this just because I said that writing “Happy postcrossing check my shop” or bulk sending 20 cards with the same message and no effort at all was lazy.
About me deciding everyone should improve, it’s my opinion again, that is why I say I THINK and IM SURE, again, being bad is good but being bad for too long isn’t good, at least that’s what I think .
Don’t worry be happy
I’m going to assume that you’re replying here in good faith and, to use your words, make it more simple for you. I’m going to start with a few basic things, and then reply in-depth to what you’ve written. I might also include your response to what Cynthia is saying, because I completely agree with her points and want to defer to her experiences as a person dealing with illness and disability. That’s actually a great place to start: someone with a disability, even if different in type or severity than others, is better positioned than I am (or, I assume, you are) to talk about disabled experiences, because I’m not disabled in any way that would be meaningful to this conversation.
First, the basic things:
- getting a card that is only used for advertisement (“Check out my blog/store” and little else) is very different from getting a generic text or one that displeases you. I can’t find anything in the guidelines, but I would assume that the former is not allowed as it’s not allowed in the forum.You can contact the staff about solicitous cards if you like, but that’s not what this conversation is focusing on.
- I don’t think I’ve misunderstood your point, but correct me if I’m wrong. What I understand is that you’ve gotten several disappointing postcards, and you’re unhappy with that. You want people to put more effort in - I get it! We want our cards to be personal and special! As I said, I’m sorry you’re not having a great experience. That sucks.
- the conversation has devolved past “I’m not happy with these cards” to:
Which is a very different conversation.
- I did not say that you were an ableist person, but I do think that the point you seem to be trying to make is quite ableist. I will try to clarify why with my response.
So what I’m going to do is quote some of your rebuttal to me and try to break down exactly what my original reply was trying to say. I apologize if I was at any time unclear, I made my best attempt to be clear and kind. I’ll give it one more try, but I’m afraid I’ve been unimpressed with your attitude. Also, it’s nearly my bedtime and I want to wind down - so this is my last reply here. I don’t intend to be the “final word” on the subject by any means, but I do want to respond to you at least once in good faith.
I don’t think that anyone is attempting to take the moral high ground here, or at least I’m not. There are a lot of assumptions being made in this paragraph, so let’s look at a few of them.
- First, I’m not saying - and I don’t think anyone is saying - that anyone is obligated to assume that someone has a “more legitimate” reason to send a postcard that doesn’t meet our expectations. What I’m saying is that there is typically a reason, and that saying “try harder” is not the appropriate response.
- Secondly, saying that you have gone through difficult patches and that “printing bulk postcards was never even a possibility for [you]” is taking a different type of moral high ground, and one that I think is inappropriate. Not everyone in the world shares your experiences, and you cannot hold all Postcrossers to the standards you set for yourself. It’s deeply unfair, and does in fact border on ableism. With all due respect, you are not the arbiter of what a “proper” postcard or a “lazy” postcard is. Beyond the agreed-upon community guidelines, those are individual metrics.
I entirely disagree - being disabled absolutely can and, I would bet, often does stop people writing “nice short or long texts”. You say “maybe I was being a bit hard” but I don’t get the sense that you are fully thinking through the impact of your words. Let me be clear:
people with intellectual disabilities who cannot compose more than “Happy Postcrossing from [name] in [country]” are welcome to participate and should not be derided. People who have physical pain or disabilities that stop them from physically writing or typing longer texts are welcome to participate and should not be derided.
People who, for example, rely on a full-time carer and have a pre-written message that they print and paste on each card? Are not lazy for doing so and are welcome. And, frankly, people who do that themselves because they’re lazy? Also welcome. People can only put in the effort they want and are able to put in, and that’s okay. Is it disappointing to get them? Sure, sometimes, especially a bunch in a row like you have. I’m sorry for that. But you don’t get to say “This is wrong, do better!”. That’s not nice.
Again, all due respect, but this is exactly what you have done. I’m not going to quote it here again, but you did that in the sentences I quoted in my first reply. You are trying to draw a line under the “acceptable” way to participate, and it is not going over well. (See Cynthia’s last post for more on this)
Okay, I’m going to try and see this from your perspective, because I’ve had disappointed cards and I agree that it “feels a bit rotten”. Is it nice to receive a card that feels churned out and careless, like someone’s doing it out of obligation or just to get a card in return? No, absolutely not. And I’m not saying that you have to “be excited and positive” about it. What I am saying, is that it is unacceptable to write on the forum that these people - whatever the reason they’re doing this - shouldn’t be participating because “they’re not capable” or that they need to try harder.
I completely agree with you, as I’ve said, that we shouldn’t just assume that every so-called lazy card comes from someone with a disability or who’s going through dire straits. That’s probably not the case, honestly. But that’s how it is, with people - not everyone will put in the same amount of effort.
On the topic of “accepting mediocrity”:
I don’t think anyone is asking you to like every card or message you get. But Postcrossing is not a job, and none of the people sending you cards work for you. “Accepting mediocrity” is an extremely ungenerous way of looking at this. And I think that’s the basis of what I’m trying to say - a little bit of generosity, an adjustment of your expectations, will improve your experience manifold. The postal system is a bit of a miracle, frankly, and someone sent you a card! That’s awesome! If you don’t like it, feel free to destroy or dispose of the card once it’s registered.
Okay, there’s a lot happening in the last couple of paragraphs. I’m starting to feel like you’re missing my point. Hopefully not deliberately. I really hope I haven’t missed yours. Let’s get into it.
First, I will happily admit to being a little off the mark when I said everything beyond the ID and enough postage is extra. The community guidelines do actually say:
"Please also include a message to the receiver: for example, share something about yourself or the place where you live (in English or in another language they understand)."
So, yes, a message is part of it, but there’s no minimum word count or required contents. This is a hobby, not a composition class, and people are free to write as much or as little as they want. Again, I want to reiterate that I’m not saying that it’s not slightly disappointing to get nothing but “Happy Postcrossing”, but it’s also not the problem you seem to have made it out to be.
No one is arguing that people should stop writing long messages. It is extremely disingenuous for you to posit that as my point. It is not my point. I’m not suggesting “lowering the standards” for Postcrossing - I’m saying moderate your expectations, and do not imply that disabled people are unwelcome. Because you have done that, intentionally or no. And, again, it is unacceptable.
And, just to reiterate: it is absolutely possible for the message you describe as “a nice short text” to be beyond someone’s capabilities. Some people do have various degrees of cognitive or intellectual impairments, and those people should be welcome to participate if they want to, with our without support to write longer messages.
Cynthia puts it very elegantly, if you need further clarification:
We’ll skip over your quips about the moderators, because that seemed intentionally rude and I have coherent points to make before I get any more aggravated. Moving on:
“Pushing the wheelchair” in postcrossing - ie, making it accessible - could be:
- having a caretaker/friend/someone else help you to various degrees, up to and including doing the majority of the work on your behalf
- printing out the same basic text for every postcard, either because that’s the limit of your abilities or to preserve energy, while still enjoying sending and receiving cards
- writing only a sentence or two, for the same reasons as above
or any number of other modifications. All of these conform to the rules and spirit of Postcrossing, and are welcome here. Yes, even if it disappoints you personally. I’m sorry you’re disappointed, but they’re still not doing it wrong. There are tons of other people who put lots of effort into their cards, I hope some of them pull your address soon! Or you can swap here in the forum for decorated or fully written cards - there are tags for that!
Yes. Unequivocally yes. People have every right to half-ass their hobby, or to put in minimal effort for any reason.
I cannot imagine that this is the point Cynthia was making, and I believe you know that. As you said - we’re “pacifically debating”. Let’s do so honourably and in good faith, without making strawman arguments.
This, by the way, is another strawman argument - not once did anyone say that you’re expected to be a therapist or diary for someone. We’re not even saying that people should (or are required to) write about all the terrible things in their lives to you. What I think this thread is trying to do is illustrate to you that you cannot know why someone is writing or printing a short message, and so you should not make arbitrary rules about how people should write their messages. No, not even as an "in my opinion*, because that will inevitably cause hurt to someone.
This person “you can’t even imagine” very likely does exist, and should be allowed to participate to their ability and comfort level.
The point is not to make excuses for why people do what they do. Although I can understand how it could seem like that, that’s really not what people are doing here. What I, at least, am trying to say, is that you cannot know and therefore it is kinder to not make sweeping “people should be better” statements. And, I’ll re-iterate, if people simply don’t want to put that much effort into their cards - that’s fine. They’ll likely never draw your address again. They’re in the minority, and that’s fine,
I have now spent way, way longer on this than I intended. Unfortunately my temper started to run short about halfway through this reply, so I’m sorry if this comes off a bit harsh. However, I believe I’ve made my points coherently so I’ll leave it as-is.
I hope I have been able to help you see my point and understand some of the arguments being made by myself and others. If nothing else, please reflect on why you felt the need to start a post with “this may be bad”, and then justify it with “maybe I was a bit hard here”, but decided to post it anyway. That sentence alone told me you were not writing from a place of kindness or willingness to understand, and I think that that may be the crux of the issue.
Have a great rest of your day, and goodnight from Montreal
Whatever lazy postcards one has received cannot be undone, but moving forward, perhaps we can begin to think about ways to enhance the experience of using the main site to exchange postcards. To that end, the forum has plenty of insight to offer, especially when a higher level of integration of the main site and the forum is in progress. However, as noted below, balance is key.
Here are a couple of suggestions that, at least to me, are feasible and do not detract from the essential experience:
Add these links to the postcard ID page which shows the recipient’s address, in the hopes of helping or inspiring the sender to compose a message, in particular when the sender can hardly relate to the recipient’s profile.
- Writing prompts (July Writing Prompt: Superpowers) which are in the blog. It may fit better with the workflow to have a link on the postcard page.
- Draw a random Wikipedia article and use it as a writing prompt:
These measures may, or may not, help reduce lazy postcards.
This is a great response and I think it’s important to acknowledge that you may not have realized that change in conversation. That we went from “I’m not happy with these cards” to “if you are suffering from an illness…” etc.
As someone who does deal with illness and disability, very few things are more frustrating than being told there is no place or space for me as I am, particularly in a place that is supposed to be about openness and connection. (Participating in a correspondence group is far different than being a firefighter.)
Another issue I have is that you are now saying your opinion is only your opinion now. --you did not say, "in my opinion, if you cannot send proper postcards because your body or mental state won’t allow it, maybe you shouldn’t send postcards.” You also didn’t say “In my opinion, if you ask someone to choose between” and you didn’t say “in my opinion, this is true.”
You think I’m angry because you wouldn’t like my cards. I started off somewhat amused and became irritated (not angry) because I felt like you were making assumptions and judgments.
The first example that comes to my mind with not being able to write more than Happy Postcrossing would be someone who was quadriplegic and literally writes with a pen in their mouth. If you’re doing that, “Happy Postcrossing” is a long message.
I have a friend with severe autism who loves getting mail. If he had help, he might come up with a message longer than “happy postcrossing” although…he also might only have that to say and shouldn’t he have a place here, too, even if that’s what he wants to say? After all, one of his favorite things to do is to go to the synagogue every Saturday and say, “Shabbat Shalom” which may be predictable, but it’s never wrong and I suspect there are people who spend all week looking forward to that.
Times when I might not have been able to write more than that….emotionally, possibly right after my mom died. I honestly can see not being able to see past that and yet I also think it would have been incredibly therapeutic for me to reach out to other people in any way.
Physically, I have spent thirty years dealing with a chronic illness similar to long-haul Covid. I have dealt with massive neurological symptoms, including four years when, though I have always been very strong in reading and writing, I couldn’t always read menus or string together sentences. And yet one thing that made me happiest was getting mail.
I don’t feel like I’m making excuses. I feel like I’m giving legitimate reasons you may not have considered.
Of course, you are free to feel, think, and do as you like.
As am I.
Yes, I agree with this.
Because, often I see here how we should understand this and that, because the sender might be poor, sick, so and so. Yes they might, but it’s healthy to know and say, often this is not the case. Often the “bulk” card sender is fully normal and just wants the cards sent.
Good thing is, this is not happening often. Sometimes it feels like it happens in groups, and then not for a long time again.
Guidelines say to include a message, and link to a shop is not a message, it’s a commercial, and I would report it and wait if I need to register it.
But: one reason to short message can be, that the persons/receivers are publishing the cards and the sender is bored with this and maybe wants to use their cards and stop this hobby then.
I have seen a person complain about the messages they get, but they showed the messages on their YouTube why are they thinking anyone would write them anything personal I can’t understand.
I have received only very few “happy postcrossing” cards and I think two of them if not more even cheated with stamps. That tells me how the majority of this type card senders are (to me) I don’t need to imagine them to be suffering or sick because truth is, some people are overly selfish.
(But to be clear, I’m not saying all people who send “happy postcrossing” are like this, but of my received, it’s easy to spot this pattern.)
You wrote a whole essay to discredit everything I have said, wow, I’m kinda proud
You are right in a lot of things, but let’s be honest, I can certainly say that deep down almost no one likes happy postcrossing cards or thinks they are special, and that none of the ones written to me were done by people having to paint with their mouth, I don’t know in what point of the conversation everything derived into disabilities and how bad does your life need to be to not be able to write anything else than Happy pc, I know that disabled people can participate in postcrossing, assisted or unassisted, but returning to the original discussion, yes, for me lazy cards exist, because postcrossing takes effort and was made to connect people, not to send any postcard at all with any message. The magic of postcrossing resides in receiving something mysterious that came all over the world just for you. That was the purpose why postcrossing was created,
Now, original idea Vs what it has become is a really different thing
Yes, everyone and every postcard is allowed in postcrossing no matter the text even if there’s no text
But that isn’t necessarily a good thing, or at least something postcrossing was created for, I comprehend when you say everyone’s welcome and that we can’t control people, but maybe instead of searching for more and more problems we should think of solutions, like trying to incite people to write more accordingly to the reason why postcrossing was created, as I said, we can’t make anyone do anything, but when happy postcrossing #23 comes to your door you don’t get that postcrossing feeling.
I made this topic because I don’t feel it is fair for people who actually write their cards to receive bulk sent cards with the same message, postage in Spain is also really really expensive. I never had disabled people in mind when writing the first messages, and was referring to people with no difficulties that decide to do this just for pure laziness or collecting cards, I guess Cintias comments made me more clear bout how not everyone is lazy, and some people can’t write any more.
I know now someone will probably write another essay about how I’m wrong, but think about it, what if postcrossing was starting to be used more like it was designed for? What if we made postcrossing more accessible?
You do judge the persons by calling their cards lazy!
There’s no absolute right and wrong in this case, since different opinions are valid because they’re based on different personal experiences
While postcards and their senders can’t be separated, talking and assuming sensitive things like disorders, disabilities etc it’s out of topics
Many users don’t really write what they’re dealing with on their profile. Perhaps it could be a good thing if they do, after all on the profile page we’re supposed to write something about ourselves. So when you get generic “lazy” postcard you would understand they have different challenges and tolerate their “lazy” postcard
The other option is to give a writing prompts of what sender could write, on your profile. Users who draw your address (and bother to read your profile) will at least write something more than short and meaningless messages (hopefully). Personally I add this on my profile and the cards I received from officials were rarely “lazy postcards”
I feel this too, this is one of the reason I send and receive more cards from the forum tag activity. I feel there’s more connection especially if you’ve tagged or have been tagged by same user more than twice. You already get their style of writing cards (Maybe try tags sometime if you want and experience them yourself )
However, the sense of what fair for you and other users isn’t the same. Maybe some users are ok about it because they care about the card more
I don’t understand what do you mean by “to be used more like it was designed for”. Do you mean postcrossing has lost its purpose of connecting? If yes then, I personally still find connection here (eventhough it’s more on forum)
You do not know, what they can and what they cannot and why, unless they tell you!
I’m so sad to see disability come into a topic about “lazy postcards” .
I would totally agree that there are probably people who put a lot less into their postcards than others, and that not all have a “reason” for it. But isn’t that the case with most things in life? I really hope nobody reading this feels like they should put an explanation on their profile if they don’t want to/feel ready to share their own situation.
I’m sure my own profile sounds like I have a normal enough life, plenty of hobbies, things I like to do. What it doesn’t say is that it will take me 3-4 days to complete a postcard ready to send, I have to rely on someone else to post it as I can’t leave the house, when I spend “time in the garden” I’m grateful if I manage to be out there for a few minutes, yes I have hobbies but in reality I’m lucky if I manage to sit down at the table to do anything. Add to that the fact my brain gives up on me whenever it feels like it and I have a bad tremor that randomly appears and prevent me from doing lots of things.
Recently my brain decided to give up and the only thing I could write was basically a short description of what was already very obvious on the front - it wasn’t how I normally write but it was that or potentially not finish the postcard for another month, leaving someone waiting.
It can be a struggle, a huge one, but postal things are also a major source of joy, of connection to people that I just don’t have in daily life to a degree that I’m not sure my pre-illness me would have understood.
I know disability wasn’t the only thing mentioned here, and that there are certainly other reasons (or no reasons) behind disappointing cards, I just didn’t want anyone who is struggling right now for whatever reason to feel like they shouldn’t be sending cards as they can’t do it “well enough”. I’m at peace with my situation, others won’t be.
Then you have to alliw people ro do postcrossing in their style, even if this means only “happy postcrossing” on the card.
Illness and disabilities might be.reason for short messages, but also age (young kids) or language. If you not feel confident usng english, “happy postcrossing” is managable.
Both the forum guidelines and the community guidelines tell us to be friendly and respectful. Some people might tell that they’re disabled, others don’t. But even if they do tell about their disability, they might not tell the full story. Please respect that some aren’t able to write by hand or write long messages. Claiming that they should do better or don’t do Postcrossing doesn’t come accross as friendly in my eyes. Please let people participate at the level they’re able to participate!
I’ll chime in as a disabled person (fibromyalgia and arthritis, both chronic pain disorders that are quite variable in the symptoms I experience each day)
Some days my hands are not very painful and writing a longer message is possible with relative ease, some days they are quite painful and I may end up writing less to spare myself a bit of pain.
I think it’s quite ableist and rude to say that the card I wrote on a high pain day is worth less than one from a low pain day.
I pray, @MPetisco, that you never become disabled, or if you do, you are treated with more respect and less judgment than you’ve shown here.