well just because one is able to send expensive and/or hard to get cards, doesn’t mean everyone is. i think it’s great that your friend tries so hard but you should do that because you want that yourself, not because you expect the same back.
there are quite i few profiles that say ‘i always choose a card that fits someones profile and pick the best stamps, i expect you to do the same’. makes me feel a bit icky. obviously i’m choosing the best card for you, but sometimes you would maybe think i didn’t because i don’t have anything on your list.
I didn’t mean that people who are restricted in choice of postcards should send anything expensive! Sorry if it sounded like that. I believe that making profiles with wishlist AND not making users like that feel sad is needed and one of my goals. I feel a bit blue every time I’m considered too picky
She likes sending more than receiving, but of course there are some expectations (some people can manage them or lower them, some not). Of course, I know her postcard-wise for 10 years, so I can’t look at her profile with fresh eyes, so it’s my projections that nice people deserve nice postcards and should be able to formulate profiles in a way to sound nice, with or without wishlist
Without wishlist though if a person CAN send something nice and specific, how would you know?
If we only take into consideration only people with limited choice of postcards, then all other fall out. Then we return to statement that you can’t cater to everyone’s likings
Myself even though I’m okay with literally anything, I’m a human being and I have preferences, probably even dislikes. I think it’s weird to try to gentrify myself (that’s not what I mean by tweaking profile), I mean more of proper self-presentation
Postcrossing is like a secret santa exchange. You send what you would like someone to have, and you receive what someone else wanted you to have. Sometimes you are the thoughtful one and you get some jerk who does the minimum for you. And sometimes the jerk gets the great gift, too. But you’re only in control of what you send, so it’s best to focus on that.
(And if you feel it’s too uneven for you personally, you can always exchange postcards through some other means. You can’t force a secret santa to be equitable, except on the most basic level.)
(I’m using the general/plural “you” throughout here.)
@reisegern@saintursula Secret Santa exchange is awesome metaphor! It would be lovely to see that on someone profile as a description of how person feels about postcrossing
And I fully agree that it’s more reasonable to focus on what we can control - OUR profiles and what we send
“Forcing Secret Santa” creates funny images in my mind
Ok, I plead myself guilty to having a long profile but I tried to insert as much information as possible into it. I wrote a little bit about myself followed by a (maybe a little too long) list of topics I find interesting and that I would like to be featured on the postcards. I see this list as a further description of myself as all the topics head, more or less, to one direction: Yes, I’m a lovely, easy-going, music loving weirdo deep inside my own world with a psychedelic tune . I actively avoided the term “wishlist”. I also avoided a “don’t send me” list, I only mentioned things I don’t like so much. To take out too much pressure I wrote that I’m ok with any postcards. Although English isn’t my native language I think that I managed to make my profile to sound nice, friendly and not too demanding.
Haven’t you changed your profile a bit recently? I think I read it a month or so ago, and it felt different.
“Relax and don’t worry” part is nice, even though it reminds me a comedy bit of how to annoy someone - just telling person to calm down and relax Not that I felt any annoyance during reading, I think it’s good relief after a medium-long list (I call them preferences instead of wishlist on mine, maybe there are more words that English-speaking users might help with)
For what it is worth, in this man’s view, you don’t sound like a jerk. Only one man’s opinion, and for all you know I may be a jerk, so I’m not so sure that helps you so much!
I would note that early on you mention you live in a desert state, but where you live you are surrounded by pine forests. As a geographer (amongst other things), and one who has visited both Washington and Oregon on more than one occasion, I know what you were talking about, but to someone unfamiliar with how the weather and terrain affect both sides of the Cascades, this would be a bit confusing. All of which is to say that all of us usually write (and speak for that matter) from our own point of view, and inherent in that point of view are often assumptions that the reader will know the context, which more often than not is just not the case.
So my thought is this:
Write your profile so it looks like what you wrote is something that you’d like to encounter if you were assigned that person to send a post card to. Focus on the positive and not the negative. If you have phobias, and it would be alarming or dismaying (or worse) to receive a card with a particular topic, certainly say so, but in an explanatory way, not a demanding one.
The bottom line in this hobby is that we are all offering to send gifts to strangers as well as ourselves up as receivers of gifts from strangers. That should shine through in what you write about yourself.
I have not looked at my profile in months. I am not going to go look at it now, but I really like PinkNoodle’s idea of having folks provide honest feedback on what she has presented. Therefore, I am going to go start a thread on that now, so as not to hijack this one.
The thread is already existing though, #1 link in the end of starting message for this topic
I love your opinion! It’s interesting thought about the context - and geographically speaking now I really want to google the @PinkNoodle place, before I didn’t notice that
Funny that you should mention my geographical conundrum–I’ve (obviously) struggled with describing it myself! I don’t think the term “high desert” is familiar even to most Americans. “Shrub-steppe” is accurate, but arguably even less familiar…? It’s tricky to describe a place where it snows all the time, but the trees eat wildfire for breakfast. But you’re right; I should clarify.
@Xute, “the PinkNoodle place” () is currently Spokane, Washington. Not as exciting as Seattle, but I like it! And yes, I think a profile in the form of a short story (my favorite genre) would be really fun to read–but I don’t know if I could write a good one! If anyone has, I want to see it!
I wonder if Postcrossing profile writing could be improved using tips for writing dating profiles. They’re not the same in that you can’t “swipe left” (reject) once you’ve drawn a profile, but you do get a brief introduction to your “partner,” and Postcrossing forms a kind of love connection, right?
Well, long ago I used a dating site with set of short essays instead of profile, some people really made it work!
Lol, I did refer twice in my topics the romance metaphor. Oh well, I do think it’s one of good ones, but same is Secret Santa!))
I certainly encountered profiles which feel like a short story (having a bullet list wishlist would he a no-no probably then), but I don’t think it’s ethical to refer to other people. Yours, @_Hawkwind_, @eta55 all feel like a story to me and not a Frankenstein of an bureaucratic bio and shopping list.
Good call! Maybe someone (who is better at writing than I am) could write a “sample” short story profile.
…okay, I’m done looking at online dating profile tips (much to my husband’s relief), and while some suggestions were applicable, WOW…there is some truly terrible advice out there. (e.g. “Even if you don’t surf or do yoga, find a way to include those words, as they generate more hits” or “Don’t use sarcasm if you’re a woman.”)
…I think we should probably just stick to talking about our pets and stamp collections.
I haven’t got a wish list. I still get people apologising on postcards because they haven’t got a card matching my wish list. I wonder if there may be a middle ground between a full wish list and none? I remember in early postcrossing people didn’t do lists as such but they did insert a wish or few. These profiles I find were much nicer.
This is a great thread and goes well with a another thread, I don’t believe was mentioned as a source. Feedback on profile texts
Let’s not forget that it includes in the guidelines that “wishlists/anti-wishlists” aren’t allowed. It’s generally accepted that we all do it anyway.
I’ve seen so many great profiles, but despite our profile being for members to read, it’s yours! As long as you’re friendly in whatever you write, whatever it is is fine. Unless specified by a tag or RR or specific swap, YOU send the card to the person and YOU can send what you have/like/prefer or what the other person wants.
Many times I ask members if they want to check out my available stock and tell me what cards they want because I’m not sending it for the image, I’m sending it for the message I’m giving them.
Sometimes I’ll stretch a wishlist and tell them how I got there and sometimes I’ll play roulette and send a random card.
Okay, so that was a lot of stream of consciousness. To sum, it’s YOU profile. Write a profile YOU would want to read. And be nice.
I very briefly considered becoming a professional dating profile writer after helping a couple Reddit users fix their profile and immediately helping them get increased matches. It’s crazy how common those services are and the absolute ridiculous crap they try to put in profiles. Not to self, write a blog post (I host a sex and relationship blog) on creating an online dating profile.
From the profile editor in the official website, there’s a link that takes you to a list of prompts to help write your profile (similar to the dating profile prompts).
Could it be the same “automatic response” phrase as ‘I hope you’ll like this card’? Or there is so many profiles with long tricky wishlist some postcrossers write it by default?
I really like the view you provided in one of other topics to embed the wishes with the description (tricky for people whose postcard interests are different from life interests) - actually, some good examples in my opinions are small clouds of key words which include wishes and things you enjoy (like “things I enjoy in life are: whiskers on kittens, spring flowers, trains, warm woolen mittens…”)
. I actively avoided the term “wishlist”. I also avoided a “don’t send me” list, I only mentioned things I don’t like so much. To take out too much pressure I wrote that I’m ok with any postcards. Although English isn’t my native language I think that I managed to make my profile to sound nice, friendly and not too demanding.
They’re not the same in that you can’t “swipe left” (reject) once you’ve drawn a profile, but you do get a brief introduction to your “partner,” and Postcrossing forms a kind of love connection, right? 
(e.g. “Even if you don’t surf or do yoga, find a way to include those words, as they generate more hits” or “Don’t use sarcasm if you’re a woman.”)
