Well, long ago I used a dating site with set of short essays instead of profile, some people really made it work!
Lol, I did refer twice in my topics the romance metaphor. Oh well, I do think it’s one of good ones, but same is Secret Santa!))
I certainly encountered profiles which feel like a short story (having a bullet list wishlist would he a no-no probably then), but I don’t think it’s ethical to refer to other people. Yours, @_Hawkwind_, @eta55 all feel like a story to me and not a Frankenstein of an bureaucratic bio and shopping list.
Good call! Maybe someone (who is better at writing than I am) could write a “sample” short story profile.
…okay, I’m done looking at online dating profile tips (much to my husband’s relief), and while some suggestions were applicable, WOW…there is some truly terrible advice out there. (e.g. “Even if you don’t surf or do yoga, find a way to include those words, as they generate more hits” or “Don’t use sarcasm if you’re a woman.”)
…I think we should probably just stick to talking about our pets and stamp collections.
I haven’t got a wish list. I still get people apologising on postcards because they haven’t got a card matching my wish list. I wonder if there may be a middle ground between a full wish list and none? I remember in early postcrossing people didn’t do lists as such but they did insert a wish or few. These profiles I find were much nicer.
This is a great thread and goes well with a another thread, I don’t believe was mentioned as a source. Feedback on profile texts
Let’s not forget that it includes in the guidelines that “wishlists/anti-wishlists” aren’t allowed. It’s generally accepted that we all do it anyway.
I’ve seen so many great profiles, but despite our profile being for members to read, it’s yours! As long as you’re friendly in whatever you write, whatever it is is fine. Unless specified by a tag or RR or specific swap, YOU send the card to the person and YOU can send what you have/like/prefer or what the other person wants.
Many times I ask members if they want to check out my available stock and tell me what cards they want because I’m not sending it for the image, I’m sending it for the message I’m giving them.
Sometimes I’ll stretch a wishlist and tell them how I got there and sometimes I’ll play roulette and send a random card.
Okay, so that was a lot of stream of consciousness. To sum, it’s YOU profile. Write a profile YOU would want to read. And be nice.
I very briefly considered becoming a professional dating profile writer after helping a couple Reddit users fix their profile and immediately helping them get increased matches. It’s crazy how common those services are and the absolute ridiculous crap they try to put in profiles. Not to self, write a blog post (I host a sex and relationship blog) on creating an online dating profile.
From the profile editor in the official website, there’s a link that takes you to a list of prompts to help write your profile (similar to the dating profile prompts).
Could it be the same “automatic response” phrase as ‘I hope you’ll like this card’? Or there is so many profiles with long tricky wishlist some postcrossers write it by default?
I really like the view you provided in one of other topics to embed the wishes with the description (tricky for people whose postcard interests are different from life interests) - actually, some good examples in my opinions are small clouds of key words which include wishes and things you enjoy (like “things I enjoy in life are: whiskers on kittens, spring flowers, trains, warm woolen mittens…”)
That I didn’t notice, the suggestions there are quite nice.
I wonder would it be popular if any newbie could request an older member - mentor - who would help to write profile in better English etc., fix the rookie mistakes? (I mean besides wonderful thread we mention, there are majority who don’t use forum)
I find them very true too! Last one especially @elanlei Were early postcrossing profiles more like that? Written to spark a connection between two random people?
Does the official page’s blog ever discuss the form?
There was another post asking where all members were and why they didn’t use the form. Maybe we can combine the suggestion I had for that (highlight the forum on the main page) and your suggestion. There could be an article on common rookie mistakes, guidance from senior members, tips for newbies in addition to highlighting the forum to bring in more members that don’t use it and provide guidance to newer members.
Now these rules keep me thinking. Aren’t people who write only strict wishlist and say they don’t register ‘not real postcards’ open and honest? Should be added something like ‘within Community guidelines’
I mentioned wishlist to feel like shopping lists. As far as I remember many people on dating sites have same problem - they make demands (even when formulated like preferences) right away to strangers who don’t know them and don’t connect with them (and frequently have a shopping list themselves).
Now I finally understand what postcrossers who are against wishlists mean. It’s like saying ‘I want a wedding in spring and we will have only dogs and no cats after marriage’ to a guy who just wrote ‘hey’ to you. After you know each other better (like during swap etc.) then demands become okay (this I reflect about how I felt about strict wishlist of my long-time penpal)
This is from one of the early profiles I sent to. It reads well and it is enthusiastic and personal whilst still conveying a fairly specific wish list.
- I love nature! - I’m interested in traditions of your country/region - I like reading, handicrafts, hiking, singing, traditional folk dancing, meeting friends, coffee, writing and collecting postcards…COMMUNICATION! - I like postcards with sheep, goats, vegetable & garden, old houses, ceramics/tiles/mosaik, bicycles, coffee, birches, mail-boxes… - I’m a big fan of recycling and creativity… - Carl Larsson, Marc Chagall, Paula Modersohn-Becker and Hundertwasser are my favorite artists …and through postcrossing: the nice illustrations from Victoria Kirdiy, Elina Moiseenko (Russia, Belarus…)and Siguté Ach/Lithuania - I’m a capricorn who loves the mountains - My favorite colour is BLUE
Like real-time chat room full of very friendly postcrossers to help newbies? I remember many people said that compared to old forum on the new forum you feel more comfortable and accepted, I wish that feeling every newly registered person who impatiently waits for first postcards to arrive can share
Hmm, it’s very interesting!
Isn’t that the difference with modern profiles is positive formulation instead of negative formulation, and more descriptive language instead of cutting all the words trying to fit gargantuan list into letters limit?
I just moved the post about our Discord Channel from the old forum. Couple of people have joined. That’s pretty real time chat. And we can add a channel for newbie help.
To me, it’s very interesting to see so many people wanting to rewrite their profiles to get the postcards they want. It’s sort of like gaming the system–writing a profile to influence the reader into sending you the “best” postcard. I’m not saying that this is bad or good–everyone has different reasons for doing Postcrossing–but to me it feels a little inauthentic. Perhaps I should start second guessing everyone’s profiles when I read them.
I do edit my own profile on occasion, but it’s only to make things more clear. I’m more interested in seeing what the sender will put in the mail for me, because their choices will reveal who they are. Some people, obviously, are going to be generous or people pleasers. Others may be careless or in a hurry or lazy or vindictive because they read more into my profile than what I had intended. It’s not going to tell me anything if everyone sends me the “perfect” postcard. The world is made of all sorts of people and I hope all of my received postcards reflect that diversity.
Hmm, to be honest, I’m a firmly believer that you can’t hide what you are by writing better profile, I fully agree with one of the rules @PinkNoodle found ‘be honest about who you are and what you want’.
I didn’t start a topic to discuss how to trick people to send better postcards. But advices on how to write a nice structured one, advices on clear writing? (for me as I’m not native English-speaker clear writing is very tricky, my brains are used to completely different formulations, words, essays’ structures)
Even though one time after a postcrossing meeting one of the younger girls after we showed our recently received postcards to each other was very curious ‘what you write in your profile so you receive such postcards’. And sometimes I think that the only trick is to learn English better, sadly
No need of second guessing everyone’s profiles, but isn’t that obvious that any good presentation of yourself is showing your better more marketable sides?
You didn’t ask to look at your profile, sorry, if I bring it in conversation as an uncalled example. But I think your profile is written very nicely! Something ‘old times postcrosser’ would love - the short bio, how you feel about cards (‘a paper version of the cabinet of curiosities’ - very interesting view, I’d want to send you something to surprise you right away), and yet there are plenty easy suggestions what to send for users who like easy and wishlists.
I was a scientist once and I can’t deny that sometimes I put some phrases or wishes as sort of an social experiment - to see how my flow of postcards changes. Maybe it is a bit dishonest:)
I have noticed that you are more likely to receive something that’s high on your wishlist, than something from the bottom of the list. And I do the same. When I get an address and I read the profile, I usually stop at the first thing of the list that I have a postcard for.
Let’s say that someone puts
cats
dogs
horses
Then I will send most likely a cat.
If they put
horses
dogs
cats.
Then I will send most likely a horse.
Does that make sense?
for me it depends a bit. i believe i recently send someone their first alpaca card. it was at the bottom of their list and i saw she hadn’t received any so i felt that would be better than send something at the top of the list that she already has more cards of.
but sometimes profiles are pretty clear that their list has an order from most to least wanted (using caps, exclamation points or just by looking at someones favourites) so then i send what’s first on the list.
(e.g. “Even if you don’t surf or do yoga, find a way to include those words, as they generate more hits” or “Don’t use sarcasm if you’re a woman.”)
