Help me get my spark back

I think you’re absolutely right, Axoloti, and I’m going to do just that. I could imagine a heartwarming movie in which a bigot has their mind changed by a postcard but this is real life. Best not to engage, as frustrating as it is.

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@Axolotl: Was the person claiming covid was a conspiracy from the Netherlands? If yes, may be we got the same adress.
I sent a card I found boring and did not like (which I usually always avoid to do, except the receiver wants exactly this type of card).
And I wrote that postcrossing in my opinion should always be free from political, religious or ideological attempts at proselytizing - as well concerning cards as profiles.
Sorry, but I felt I had to write this!

No, from Germany.

I actually think Postcrossing doesn’t have to be free of politics, it was just that I disagreed so strongly with this person’s opinion. :pray:t2: Still, what I think, we can still be civilized to people we don’t agree with, that’s one of Postcrossing’s big strenghts!

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I am coming up on eight months of postcrossing. The encouragement I would like to provide on this topic is to imagine it as a quest for the next really special communication. Sure, I have received the simple “Happy Postcrossing” messages written in the text section, which possibly may be an issue of language limitations. I have also had some difficulties with “wish lists” in meeting expectations with my limited postcard stock. But in those eight months I have had two very special exchanges that have prompted more communication. And I am looking forward to the third one—who knows when it will occur!

That’s an amazing profile screaming for a “collage” of all three things at once!!! I hope I draw that one some day.

If I do not have a card that matches a recipient’s wishes, I usually look at their sent wall. I assume they only buy cards they like and then usually I just send a similar one.

@Axolotl_ You give bad advice here, underminig the spirit of postcrossing: to connect and contact.
You did the same in the Swedish gaslighting topic. Finaly I did receive an annonymous sent card by Linda. Boring.
Postcrossing is set up to contact and to write only happy postcrossing is a killer.

According to a Finnish postcrosser: you have always one thing in common with a postcrosser. And that is the love for postcards.

Better to focus on that.

Sorry, I don’t know what you’re referring to.

But to answer your post, of course you have every right to have this opinion. But I also have the right to be of another opinion. I’d like to tell you why I think this way, and maybe after reading you’ll agree with me, or maybe not. Both is okay. :slight_smile:

I strongly believe that it’s important to set boundaries. My well-being is most important to me, as it inflicts every action I take. If I’m feeling sad, exhausted or mentally hurt, well, first of all it’s bad for myself, and secondly I won’t be of great help to my loved ones or other people. This is not only meant about Postcrossing but applies to all things in life. To explains where I come from.
Postcrossing is about sending a card to a stranger. Important: Sending a card is all you have to do. Yes, having a connection is what we are here for, but there are things that we’re not comfortable with, which applies to everybody. To some it might be that they find it awful if a person asks for postcards of themes they don’t like, to others it might be racism or, as in the case I described, the denying of science. You have to know, I’m a full-blood scientist. This goes straight to my heart. So I could force myself to do the usual thing: Find a postcard perfectly fitting their interests, decorating it with washi tapes and stickers fitting their interests and writing a personal message. I know all of these things are not required to do, yet I do them usually, as it’s big fun for me. Actually, the only time I haven’t done it was in said case. I still sent a perfectly fine postcard, which is what I agreed to do. Nothing more, and therefore I did what I had to do. And in my opinion, that’s perfectly fine.
Because if I had done it, I wouldn’t have been able to get my thoughts off the fact that this person finds it to be uttermost important to deny something I’ve devoted my life to. And, even worse, spread an opinion that’s dangerous for our society. It’s a dealbreaker to me. I wouldn’t have felt comfortable, but sad and exhausted.
And here is where my boundaries and personal autonomy step in. I won’t force myself to do something extra to make someone happy, while it’ll make me deeply unhappy. Blame it on my western and individualist mind if you want to, but I’m responsible for my well-being and I have to set boundaries around it, which I did. You can’t force anyone to do something that’ll make them feel bad. Send a postcard, move on. Obligation fulfilled, happiness contained.
I find it important to spread the message that we’re allowed to disagree with others, and that we don’t have to fulfill the expectations of others if we feel bad while doing it. Of course as long as it’s within the rules of the society we’re acting in. And if I haven’t missed it, not writing a deeply personal message isn’t forbidden by Postcrossing.

So this is my opinion, which I’ll not change. I have spent a long time gaining it, and to be honest it’s mostly about other parts of life. But I find that it can be perfectly adapted to Postcrossing if needed. I won’t feel offended if you have another view on things, that makes life interesting, right? As long as we can talk about it without accusations and bad blood, everything is fine.

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Thank you @Axolotl_ for giving your point of view. Clear vission.

I think we agree that postcrossing should be fun.

I wish you myself and everyone to keep fun. Even when writing a postcard to someone with a userprofile you don’t like. That can cost a lot energy, but never over-give. Keep the energy that is essential for yourself first!

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Well, it often happens that I am very active in writing and registering postcards, super active in social media.
And sometimes it happens that I just lose touch and stop writing cards. It feels so hard to pick it up again.

How do you guys manage that?

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You have to listen to your own rhythms with this hobby and recognize that you’ll have periods of intense activity & then periods with less or no activity and that that’s okay & natural.

I did a huge amount of swaps in my 1st year & now the Forum has changed somewhat & people aren’t as interested in swaps right now for some reason. I’ve also got other interests that take up more of my time now & that’s okay too.

All hobbies have to be things you want to do, that bring you pleasure and are not a hassle or a burden to do.

Think about what brings you the most joy or pleasure in sending or receiving postcards when you’re in a low/no activity period & see if that helps get you started again.

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I just started this hobby. Sometimes I have days that are stressful and long and I am too tired to write my postcards. However, I do take a quick second to register any cards I do receive because I would like that to be done for me, so I can have more to send. I just take it one day at a time. For me the stressful thing was getting my postcard collection up and running because everyone has such vastly different interests and I want my recipients happy with the postcards I send them. :grinning: :mailbox:

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I’m also going through phases where my activity level drops - right now, I have a lot of other things on my plate and I feel exchanges are shifting towards long-timers with huge collections, so I spend more time searching for a matching card than writing… so I’ll just reduce my activity for a while until my “appetite” returns (which it always does, and I’ve been a member for 10 years)!

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Receiving mails keep reminding me of how much i have to send the mails to my lovely friends, so some Weekend i spare literally lots of time and it almost end up in whole week preparing in few mails to friends:)

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I think all of us probably go through periods of more and less activity. I know for me, if I look at my graph of sent cards, I can see periods when I slowed or stopped entirely, and if I match up the dates, they correspond with several moves, a suicide attempt, a divorce, job changes… At those times I was just surviving and my hobbies all went by the wayside until things improved or were more settled. But even without those things, sometimes I have just had times when I didn’t feel as interested. But I have always come back eventually.

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Send a viewcard!

What’s a view card?

A tourist postcard. A photo of a place/town/building/view.

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Thank you

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I don’t really have an answer to the original question posted by @cottontailfarm however I’d like to share my thoughts if I may.

I’m a relatively new member of postcrossing (again why I wasn’t qualified to answer Tammy’s question) and I am already seeing lots of very demanding profiles which in my mid is a shame and not what I believe Postcrossing is about so I can understand how it can wear people down.

However, I recently posted a request for help within the forum for people to offer some encouragement and good wishes to someone who is very deserving (see link at bottom of this post if interested in the details) The response from the postcrossing members and community has blown me away, numerous offers of help and it’s a very strong reminder of how many truly amazing people are out there. I guess my point is the great ones more than make up for the occasional not so great one. I for one love postcrossing and the connection it provides

Thank you for reading
Kind regards
Darrin

My post that was mentioned above;

https://community.postcrossing.com/t/help-please-encouragement-and-good-wishes-needed-for-archie/568932?u=wheelie_like_post

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