Help me get my spark back

I joined postcrossing a bit over a year ago, at the start of the pandemic, and fell in love with it quick and hard. For months and months I’ve loved pulling names, finding just the right card and stamps, writing a thoughtful message and making a trip out to post the cards. My stats are 175 sent, plus many here. Lately though it’s been hard to find my initial enthusiasm. I thought buying some new cards would help (animals! Local sites! Seasonal views! Movies! Antique cars!) Then I get brave and pull a name today… a man in Germany who requested: erotica, cemeteries and merry go rounds. face plant
I have no idea what to send this guy, not even sure if his erotic “favorites” would get past the usps.
So basically I have hit a wall with Postcrossing. But I want it to work because I love it. Let’s treat this like a long term commitment/marriage: how do I get over my slump and find that spark again?

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You’re so kind to want to fulfil everyone’s wishes on their profile, but you don’t actually have to send them what they request - any postcard will do. I think it’s possible that you’ll get profiles that just don’t vibe with you, and the best thing to do is just send them a nice card you like yourself and move onto the next one. I think it’s literally impossible to make everyone happy, and you’re really nice for trying to do that. Hang in there, slumps happen and they do get better / wax and wane with time! Not sure if this is helpful at all but you’re not alone. Good luck!

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Your new cards sound so lovely, I’m sure they will be appreciated!

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It’s okay to take a break. There is no penalty. I am also new and have been active (over active). Soon I will have to cut back as spring break ends today. I have lots of IOU’s to fulfill with fellow post crossers !!

I have a stack of go- to postcards. If I have nothing for them, I’ll send them one. Remember, the gold nugget of a post card is your words! A kind thought can make someone’s day. It’s much more memorable.

Remember, it’s only a post card.

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@scrutiny what country are you from??? Your flag is gorgeous I love how it looks! :star_struck::star_struck:

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If I don’t have a card that is listed in someone’s favorites, I just pick one that I would like to receive. I decorate it with some tape and stickers, write a little bit about me, and send it off! You can also always take a break. I’ve taken a few when things get super overwhelming but I always come back to Postcrossing. Do what makes you happy!

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“Don’t let the turkeys :turkey: get you down” is something my Mom always used to tell me growing uP!

I’d send this guy the card I want to get rid of, keep it short but polite (because that’s the way you are :revolving_hearts:) and move on. His will be another number added to your sent, and there will be “more fish in the sea” - as my Mom would say too! :fish: :tropical_fish: :blowfish:

Moms are so wise, aren’t they? :hugs: :sparkling_heart:

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Some of the postcards I have received I would never have thought to ask for…and have bought so much joy! Don’t over think it. Find the joy in the entire process not just finding something for someone’s wish list as nice as that can be when it happens.

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I heard a sending advice for that recently: “If you don’t have anything from person’s wishlist, send something which you would love to see on your sent wall”

Most of collectors of rare things, who I know, understand that their wishes are rare and enjoy other cards, stamps, and messages on the back

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well, if you’re really just not into postcrossing at the moment you should just take a break. you don’t need to write cards all the time. it’s only a hobby, it should be fun. i usually stop writing for a few months every summer, mostly because it’s very busy at work. so then i start again around october and i’m always very excited to buy some new cards and request my first addresses again.

i do get what you mean with the profiles though. last week i’ve sent out a few cards and everytime i clicked on ‘request an address’ i was hoping they would like cats or disney or anything from my wonderful card and sticker collection. but they all wanted (to me) boring tourist cards and they didn’t have long profiles or anything. it happens. i usually join a tag or two so i can still send out my nicest cards and decorate them.
also what keeps me going: i just woke up to a very long and very nice hurray message. reminds me why i love postcrossing so much.

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Due to the randomness of requesting addresses, there will always be the chance of getting someone whose interests don’t overlap or aren’t even remotely adjacent to your own. In that case, it’s easier to send something that you yourself would enjoy and to put an effort writing the message. While people join Postcrossing for all sorts of reasons, everyone’s here for contact with other postcard enthusiasts, no matter how brief. I like the thought of sending a surprise to someone–even if it’s not a perfect match, at least it’s not something boring like a bill!

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I completely agree. The last profile I have drawn was empty, nothing written at all. And it happened just after I had sorted all my postcards and thought how easy it would be to answer someone’s wishes with all those beautiful postcards I have :joy: I couldn’t even rely on what that person had sent before, because all he had on his Sent wall were three identical postcards of a political leader from his country. :blush: I sent him a Harry Potter card in the end. I actually thought that he is the right age to love it and I wouldn’t mind seeing it on my wall. To think of it, the previous profile I didn’t exactly like also has a Harry Potter card coming :joy: But that was completely unintentional.
I do believe though that profiles are not actually a person itself. :sunglasses:

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Do you want a beautiful postcard from a forum member? :blush: If you do, just say so. I’ll pick something pretty from my stash of postcards plus you will probably get a Red Square card as well because I am from Moscow and love my city :blush: I know I would enjoy sending a card to someone who likes buying postcards as I do for a change. And, who knows, it can help with the mood​:slight_smile:

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This is a nice thought. :smiley:

In my experience, members with very uncommon wishes don’t expect that they’re fulfilled by every postcard. But of course they mention their wishes, in case of… :slightly_smiling_face: So @cottontailfarm please don’t stress if you can’t send the perfect card to everyone, it isn’t necessary.

This week I received a card not connected to any of my favorite themes, but the sender had drawn an elephant on the backside of the card for me. :smiling_face_with_three_hearts: I was so happy!

Postcrossing is about getting a card, a “not-bill” like @syaffolee said, something nice. It’s about connecting with another member for a short moment. For many, the message is more important. A picture for the own collection is the cherry on top. :wink:

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I think that picking pretty card you like yourself is more in a “spirit of postcrossing” (whatever that means) and help not to lose a spark than picking some ugly trash card and forget about it

There was recently a discussion about whether users like sending or receiving more, most people say sending. So by not trying to send a nice piece, don’t you rob yourself from the joy?

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Absolutely! I think picking an ugly card is bad for Postcrossing karma. :upside_down_face: (And I don’t want to see an ugly card on my “sent” wall, bringing back the frustration I felt when choosing it…)

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I understand completely! I have been a member for over 10 years, and take breaks away…
But I have found I have more fun in the Round Robins and Tags. There, I can choose who to send to and the subjects to a greater degree.
Have you looked at these yet?
I also advertised for Postcard Pals, and have some lovely friends…
There are other ways to fulfil your love of postcard writing, and taking a break completely is also absolutely fine.

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This. I recently had a break for a few months and when I started writing postcards again, it was twice as fun. :slight_smile: Don’t treat it as a duty. The wish to send a nice postcard to someone will return one day. Or maybe it won’t but that would be okay, too. But don’t force yourself. This is not a marriage, it is just a hobby.

And this, too. People do postcrossing for all kinds of reasons, their English is on different levels, sometimes they sound rude and demanding involuntarily. Never judge a postcrosser by their profile alone. Just send them a card, write a message or draw a doodle if you don’t know what to write and away with the card and onwards to a new profile and a new adventure!

As others have mentioned before, if you are just upset that your wonderful cards won’t be appreciated, why don’t you join a tag or Round Robin in this forum for these themes? You are sure to meet some like-minded people! :smiley:

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I’m that person who likes to have a look to people’s postcard walls when I have nothing else to do. I just found a couple of new favourites on your sent wall and gave them a :heart:. I hope that will help you to find a little bit of that spark back.

Otherwise I just can be a parrot and also say it’s totally fine to have a break from Postcrossing. I have done it many times and when you make comeback, oh boy, every time Postcrossing is again as exciting as it was when you first started!

Edited an autocorrect’s typo. :hugs:

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Send joy, for this is what this hobby is really about. While it helps to know something about the recipient, their likes and dislikes, their age, their interests, it is not necessary in order to meet the goal of sending joy.

Think of it like this. You are taking a walk down a street; it is not a super busy street like New York or Cairo or London or Tokyo or Beijing, but it is not a deserted street either. You are walking by strangers. Amongst those strangers are a special group (they are called postcrossers). They have volunteered to received gifts from strangers, and to provide gifts to strangers. Because you are one of them, you are invested with magic powers: you can tell which is which. They are still all strangers, but you can tell which ones are postcrossers. Sometimes, as you walk down the street, one of the postcrossers smiles at you. Sometimes one hugs you. Non-postcrossers may think this is odd, or they may assume you know each other, because they are not in on the secret. But you don’t know each other when this happens, you are still strangers. Just special strangers.

Strangers who are open to gifts.

Strangers who are open to giving.

So send love. Because the card is not the only part of this, but rather it is only a part of this. Not only the card, but the stamps you choose, the decorations you work on, whether stickers or drawings or rubber stamps or washi tape, the time you spend working on it, and, most importantly, what you write, they are all part of the message.

Send a hug. Send a smile. Send joy. Send love. You are already the spark, just share it!

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