This is not cowardice–far from it.
If you have any concern whatsoever that you will be harassed (by people who know where you live, nonetheless) for being LGBT+, this is mere self-preservation and good sense.
Taking care of yourself is not cowardly. Hugs to you, sister! 
i think there’re also differences in sending card official and sending cards through forum. official cards are always a surprise and you can’t choose it at all, it’s mostly one-way interaction, but here on forum you can choose which cards you’d like to get, how and all other things. It’s ok to discuss, hm, all requests with words through mouth 
I’m quite picky here on forum - so i participate in tags like favs and offer - so i’ll know which card i should get. If i want surprise, i send official card or join another tag. I also have some ‘do not send me’ preferences at my profile. Maybe not so long, but it exists in any case and i don’t want to delete it because i’d be lost in received Zeniuk cats.
Somebody just loves postcards - it also ok to swap just for any postcard. Somebody collects only special themes - it’s also ok I think, it’s better not to find a solution and not to start swap with a ‘picky’ person here than to send card just for sending.
I’m always thankful for postcards I get - but it could also not totally fit my expectation. But that’s the life. We meet picky person irl too. Irl I try not to have deal with such persons - and on forum it could used too.
Finally, it a hobby and it should bring a joy. 
One,rude person don’t like my card , when i don’t like a card, i say thank you , the person said, what’s a bad card , not Nice
It does not seem demanding to me to ask for the postcards in an envelope. Written and stamped or written and in an envelope, what difference does it make? but it seems strange to me to ask for them in an envelope and unwriting. I still don’t care.
Demanding is to say: I want this illustration of this author and this subject and this other. I do not want tourist or city or town postcards, etc. because that’s what most of them have at home. If I can say that I like the illustrations of a specific author or that I collect flags of a brand. If I have them, I will send them to you. but if you only ask for specific brands and authors it is difficult for people to have them
Thank You everyone for your comments
Hugs and smiles
I once got a postcard with ID from Ireland, picture of wales, and german stamps (postmarked in Hamburg). I found really nice to imagine that person’s journey, but your person would have driven mad, lol
I’d love such cards, too. What a good story to tell. 
Totally agreed. I’m happy with any card I receive. If the sender sends a card that matches my interest, then I feel surprised. If I want very specific cards from particular countries, I go for private SWAP (for which I yet have enough time…)
In some countries, for example Germany, it is more expensive to send an envelope than a postcard.
I can actually find the user you mentioned quite easily, maybe you can censor your statement a bit to make the person more anonymous? We don’t want to bash them after all. 
I don’t understand why people feel the need to berate someone for sending a card they don’t like.
I have recieved postcards that I didn’t like (so much) as well but I still write a plain “Hello x, thank you for the postcard. Best wishes” and be done with it.
I don’t elaborate on how wonderful a card it is (because it isn’t, at least not to me) but I would never berate someone for sending me a specific card and not [insert wish].
I don’t get that either. What does it accomplish? You don’t like the card any better and the receiver potentially feels bad or angry. I also say a simple thank you (they did send a card, after all) and move on. 
Fortunately I’ve only ever received one such message, where the user complained I’d sent them a duplicate. But they had the card in their favorites three (!) times, at least two of which were obviously not the one they had already received. Maybe declutter your favorites from time to time if duplicates annoy you so much …
Well, different people have different opinions. I really like when people tell me exactly what they dislike or even hate. So I can avoid offending people or make them unhappy. I prefer them over wishlists who tend to be more generic.
I myself have such things, especially military and gun related stuff really creeps me out (in my childhood I had nighmares about war often since the news were full with aggression). So getting these cards make me really unhappy. Why not telling people these?
I also think other people have other reasons why they are on Postcrossing. Some are just hoarders who just want to be on top, others like to get special cards or want just spread the love. Whatever makes them happy. Mine is to get some personal messages. We aren’t all the same and I’m happy that Postcrossing gives all of us a home.
I think that’s not what this discussion is about, at least I didn’t interpret it this way. I rather understand that this is about people who have a list like “no tourist cards, no animals, flowers, people or things”. But I could be mistaken of course.
Mine was an answer to some previously who wrote “When I come across a list of “Don’t send me this” and “I HATE that” and so on, the fun starts to dwindle. I begin to think of these demands as trophy seeking. Is that part of what postcrossing is about? I prefer the connections we make and honor whatever it is someone decides to send me.”. Otherwise I would totally agree with you.
A couple of the recipients that I’ve gotten have had a profile of just “I don’t like these things”, or “I hate these cards”, or “don’t send this” and not much else of a description of themselves.
So I’m stuck with what to actually send them. Knowing that I’m sending them a card that they have said they don’t like.
So, what do you do?
Use that card. But remake the front side to be something different, Picture from a newspaper glued on, or even just blank paper. Make a drawing or quote a poem.
You do your best, but Postcrossing guidelines are clear, you just have to send a card.
People can ask for their preferences, but they don’t have the right to demand anything.
If you’ve got something that’s not on their " I don’t like" list send it & don’t spend any more time worrying about it okay? Life is short & there will be lots of other Postcrossing folks who will welcome most cards you send them!
This kind of person literally gets a random card from my stash and I move on.