[deleted to close the discussion, thank you very much for everyone’s participation]

Replacing the original content with a new message - thank you everyone for the discussions, reactions, comments and replies. I especially appreciated all the encouraging replies!

Am removing this now as I feel that the sudden/unexpected random responses necroing the thread are becoming counter-productive to my mental health. Thank you!


Hello there,

I have been on Postcrossing for about 12 years and I have done it on and off, especially the official Postcrossing as there were times I had some health matters to deal with. Also, to avoid suddenly randomly being connected with very picky Postcrossers in a way …

I have enjoyed the forum activity more than the official Postcrossing. Postal correspondence and mail exchanges with people in the world have been my main hobby for over 30 years and it is just so hard for me to quit.

I still do some forum activities like tags and a bit of RR, but I have to slow down and choose more carefully if I really need to participate in them or not as now the postages to send abroad cost more since October 2023, like 30 yen more per mail…

Also, I started to become a member on another different wonderful handmade art exchange site this year, so that makes me rather inactive as for Postcrossing in general.

But it is not easy for me to quit Postcrossing all in all.


First I think I want to share this TED talk with you…

I just watched this talk and it made sense that stress is actually the body’s way of turning on coping mechanisms for healing. It also has many social benefits.

To answer your question… Yes, sometimes I think I spent too much time either in the forum or officially sending postcards. My advice plan on spending x minutes on post crossing at a time and be diligent about cutting yourself off when it reaches that point. Which it just has…


What’s the name of the handmade art exchange site ?

I’m so sorry to hear you lost your good friend - it’s so very hard to lose people we are close to.

And yes, I can imagine you’d have mixed feelings about continuing Postcrossing activity given how much you did it together with your friend.

Grief & mourning have their own rhythms & you must find yours. Be gentle with yourself & do what feels right to you, what brightens your day or brings you comfort. See if taking a break from Postcrossing for a while or leaving it all together might help or not - it may take you time to figure this out.

And perhaps begin to think about other interests or hobbies you might want to explore as well - take your time. Just remember to take good care of yourself & try & find some comfort in the little things everyday. Be patient with yourself :purple_heart:


Im very sorry to hear about your loss. May you have the strength to bear this pain
To answer your question, yes right now Im in such a situation that Im feeling so down about continuing postcrossing but still I love this hobby a lot.
I was very active in the forum for last few years even during pandemic. But with the current crisis situation in Sri Lanka with the price of postage and all other goods getting higher I find it difficult to continue postcrossing. I have huge lot of cards purchased but I have no idea what to do with them.
And also Im passing a very stressful period that Ive lost my interest in postcrossing but really I do not want to quite this wonderful hobby.


I think what you are feeling is very normal. Take the time to grieve. One day you will see the items around your home and feel sweetness instead of sadness. One day you will remember good memories of her instead of sadness when you think of her. Be kind to yourself, take the time to grieve.
:heart: :mailbox_closed:


Ahaha, I feel you about picky Postcrossers :joy:

Yes, it’s the same for me, I’ve been doing postal correspondence since almost 20 years ago, it is a little hard for me to just drop Postcrossing completely as well.

The cost of postage, especially for overseas mail has gone up a lot since I joined - about a 35% increase since 2016…

Maybe I’ll look at taking it slower, thank you!


Thank you so very much for your kind words.

Your suggestion on exploring other hobbies and activities is a good one. Maybe I’ll also look into getting back into gaming for a bit - or something else that can be done solo without aggravating my existing physical injuries :sweat_smile:

The reminder to be patient is something I think I needed, too - I’ve been a bit upset with myself that it’s over a year and a half yet I can’t seem to move on?! I think that I had some expectations that I’d be recovering or moving on faster, that’s why it also affected my mental state. Have to remind myself it’s not a race and take things a little slower/easier, I guess…


I want to give you a hug (but I’m not sure if you’re into that so here’s a virtual hug :hugs: )

Grief is never easy, it is the price we pay for love.
The other day, someone sent me a quote via the Quote on the back of a card tag that I really liked:

“Grief, I’ve learned, is really just love. It’s all the love you want to give, but cannot. All that unspent love gathers up in the corners of your eyes, the lump in your throat, and in that hollow part of your chest. Grief is just love with no place to go.” (Jamie Anderson)

And there was also a comic that I really enjoyed

To answer your question, yes, there was once I felt down about doing Postcrossing.
I think it was sometime earlier this year when I felt discouraged about it.

My solution was to take some time away for myself - I think I took a one week break or so
Time off to reset, recharge and to come back refreshed.

Do what you have to.
I believe that healing is a process, so take as long as you need.
Ultimately, be kind to yourself. Life is not easy, and you’re doing the best you can.
That deserves some cheer and appreciation :smile:



I am sending you a PM about the handmade exchange site :slight_smile:


I’m so sorry for your loss. I can’t say I’ve lost a postcrossing friend; however, last December I found one of my two best friends after he had passed. My other best friend and I went to his house to check on him - not expecting to find him like that. We had to call the police and even though the police told me they informed the family, they had only informed one sister and the info had not gotten passed to the rest of the family, so I am the one who broke the news to almost all of the sisters and brothers. It was all pretty traumatic. The picturre of him lying there - it was awful and was sticking in my head something fierce.

Anyway, I have many things around the house that remind me of him. I still, almost a year later, think “I should call Paul” … to be honest, in all of this last year the one thing that gave me comfort were the photos I took of him and his service dog right before he passed. It was a really fun day - and seeing the photos and Christmas cards I designed made him so happy – those memories are what comfort me. Those photos put a different picture in my head than what I saw that last night. The statue of his dog that the family gave me makes me smile thinking of the good time. (Paul and I were best friends for close to 20 years)

So might I suggest that when you see the items your friend gave you - you concentrate on the happy times, it might be difficult at first - but just keep putting those memories in your head - just happy memories. Know that your friend is in a better place. (Not a comfort for your missing her, but it can be a comfort to know she may be looking down on you and smiling as you relish in the good memories)

I wish you comfort and memories of happy times. They keep me going, may they keep you going also.

if you want to talk, feel free to PM me.


My condolences on losing a dear friend. It is understandable that at times we may feel mentally and emotionally distant about certain activities including hobbies. I joined PostCrossing in 2009. In mid 2010, my wife was diagnosed with a terminal illness; in May 2011, she passed away. My focus during that year was elsewhere (obviously). But I remained with PostCrossing because postcards have always given me a measure of joy.

Of course, interests change…temporarily or permanently. From time to time, I purchase postcard collections from members and non-members. With members, I sometimes suggest that they put their collection(s) aside and take a temporary hiatus from PostCrossing. Later, they may look at their postcards and decide to continue.

Lastly, I eat out quite a bit. Many of the restaurants I go to I frequented with family. Now, my wife is gone and my daughter married with her own family. During these times, seeing other families enjoying their meals, remind me of the good memories I also had. Make no mistake, grief is extremely difficult. Experts compare it to work. You have to work through it. You will succeed.


I have this strange attraction to post crossing. While I enjoy connecting with random people across the world, I deeply miss more in depth conversations. Once, I was randomly contacted by someone who I previously postcarded, and felt deep joy! I have moved a lot and as a result, have left many friends scattered across towns in the United States. Although I communicate still via Zoom and phone, it is not the same as sitting at a coffee shop. Sometimes filling the small space on a postcard is a wonderful communication challenge, other times it seems like a futile exercise. Lately, I have spent considerable time writing, creating stories that would never fit on a postcard space, but it is somewhat fufilling to play with long sentences, add up paragraphs, and watch a story line develop. I guess it is my attempt at therapy? I am so sorry to hear you lost a close friend. The pain can be immense, and there is no easy way to address it. May you be blessed with a new perspective on your loss.


I’m so sorry to hear about your friend passing.

I’d think that I would like to give appreciation to the objects that the friend have given to me. Like I will use the pens to write because I’m sure my friend would like me to use them.

Do you feel the connection to your friend through Postcrossing? Is the connection bring happy memories? If you no longer feel the joy, perhaps you would like to take a step back and take a second look at it again.

There is no time limit for grieving. Give your body and soul the time to heal. Go at your own pace.


I want to echo everyone’s words and say that I’m sorry for your loss. In the Jewish culture, we often say “May their memory be a blessing” when someone passes, wishing that you remember the good things about the person when you think of them. Sometimes we need to take that step back and allow for some healing before we can resume what we love. Loss is so hard and it’s okay to be gentle with yourself during this time. Taking a break sometimes is so important for that process, I don’t think anyone would blame you for taking one from Postcrossing now if you need. And I know we will be happy to welcome you back when you are ready!


I feel the same way!

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I’m sorry for your loss. I think everyone has their own way dealing with life when experiencing the loss of a loved one. Do what is best for yourself.

I don’t remember ever feeling sad (enough to quit) about my participation in postcrossing. There may have been times I felt “lazy” or I was busy with work and activities; enough so I didn’t write a postcard for weeks. I view my participation in postcrossing as a very positive part of my life. It has brought me more happiness than I thought it could have. A few of my pen pals are from postcrossing. And in some cases, postcrossing or postcrossers made me feel better or okay when I wasn’t. This is my postcrossing story.

Just want to mention, “best” is relative. “Best” has different meanings for different people.


I’m interested as well. Thanks in advance. And best to everyone!

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Hello! I am new to post crossing and it’s been a very slow start. It’s taking awhile for my cards to be recieved and it has me so discouraged. I’ve been so excited to see about sending and getting cards but it really hasn’t happened. Out of the six cards I’ve sent this month, only one of them has been recieved. I was wondering if there is anyone on here that wants to swap postcards. I live in Hastings Nebraska, home of where kool aid was invented. Please let me know if you’d like to swap