Why are people becoming so difficult?

I am always afraid to send a card to a person with such a demanding profile, because I am afraid if they don’t like it they are not going to register it. And on some profiles I saw notes that say “I only register real postcards!” I think a real postcard might be very different for different people.


I once drew a profile that literally started with the sentence “Don’t send me these kind of postcards, and also not those, for those I have a special box that I put them in and never open any more”. She then had quite a long list of specific (quite expensive) art postcards that she kindly would accept. I was a bit surprised but then send a postcard anyway that I thought she would like… I think she probably didn’t because her Hurray message was just a very short “thank you”. Luckily that was the only time and all other profiles were really friendly and open minded… I think these profiles are quite rare and I have never since then drawn one like it…


I am just surprised at how many “I don’t like” comments are on people’s profiles. Why can’t you be happy with whatever you are being sent? It’s technically a gift from a totally random place in this World, that in itself is awesome! I’ve gotten some very unique cards and some that I have no clue what it’s supposed to represent, but it still makes me smile because someone somewhere sent this to me. I do accommodate those that have “don’t send me this type of card” preferences and try to pick one that they would enjoy for sure, it’s just the principal of being thankful for what you get, not what you want!


The term “real postcard” excludes:

  • self-made postcards
  • photos
  • self-printed postcards (with your office printer on flimsy paper)
  • postcards made out of food packages
  • cards via touchnote and similar services
  • folded cards, greeting cards
  • cut outs from magazines/newspapers

I’ve seen that on profiles and never respond to such a wish. Why would I tell a complete stranger, who has got my address, a secret? If I were inclined to oblige them, I’d make something up!


This! I agree so much! I don’t get where are we supposed to see all the demands? Most profiles don’t have demands.

A long wish list means to me: this person likes many things, most likely I will find something, and if not, they seem to like many things in general.

But a short list: trains, trams, train stations -type is so limited, around one subject, I assume they only like these, so I’ll probably write something about trains :slight_smile:

I’ve told a secret, because I was going to a holiday, and had not told anyone at that point, but I was so happy I could share that in the card :slight_smile: and I liked how a stranger got to know it. And if she would publish it somewhere, it wouldn’t be trouble for anyone.


well that stranger does not have your address (unless you write your address on all your outgoing cards but that’s your choice) so it would be safe to tell them you murdered your neighbour and burried them in your backyard.
or you tell them something more fun that does not involve your address at all. it doesn’t have to be all serious.

i like it when people give me some ideas to write about. most of the time it’s something i would never think about myself and it’s original. i don’t like writing the same, general message on all my cards.


Do I have it backwards? I like to receive what is important to the person who is sending a card to me. I have some things mentioned on my profile, and while I enjoy receiving cards with those themes, I have them mentioned more for conversation.


Oh yes, sorry, it’s easy to get confused when on multiple threads when talking about sent and received postcards.

Then don’t! I never do that and truly hope I never start doing that thing.

Am I ungrateful if I don’t want to be pestered with religious stuff without being asked? And as long as people think that this kind of overbearing behaviour is ok, I will exclude religion on my profile.


@Jaime77, I hear you. I think we can all agree that a demanding attitude is generally off-putting, even if the “demanding” quality of a profile is subjective. Like @elanlei said, we’re here to give gifts, not to fill orders!

Yes! As others have mentioned, there is nothing wrong with having personal preferences, or sharing the kinds of cards you like, as long as you keep an open mind (as you said!) about what people send you. There will always be cards that you like more than others, but you can still be thankful for each one you receive. You’ve got the right idea. :wink:

…do you mean to tell us that you haven’t perfected the art of telepathy?! :scream: I agree–your recipient’s response was uncalled for.

@Xeniyya, if you draw another profile like the one stating, “I only register real postcards,” I would consider reporting it, simply so the mods/admins can give the user feedback on his/her profile. It’s not tattletaling; you’re helping to improve the community.

This seems to be very subjective (except for the third-party mailing services, which are objectionable for privacy reasons). To me, a “real postcard” is any item that meets the country of origin’s postcard dimension parameters, carries appropriate postage, and shows the mailing address and Postcrossing ID legibly. Basically, if it’s a card that goes through the post…it’s a postcard! :blush:

I like this perspective! Even if I have no common interests with my recipient, I probably have at least had some contact or experience with their subject of interest, with which I can try to make a connection, no matter how vague or oblique!

For example, let’s say the Postcrosser is only interested in cricket. :cricket_bat_and_ball: I know nothing about the sport. But by chance, I once saw an Edwardian-era film reel of a cricket match, and I was completely fascinated by how beautifully the spectators were dressed, and how they interacted with the film camera. So, I can write about that. Maybe the recipient will have seen the same film reel, or can tell me more about the evolution of cricket fan demographics, or maybe he or she will be amused by how I was more interested in the crowd than the players. Or maybe the recipient won’t care at all; that’s fine, too. It doesn’t cost me anything to try to make a connection. :woman_shrugging:

@pjsubway, no, you don’t have it backwards! :smile: Some people like to receive cards related to their interests, and some prefer cards related to your interests. There’s no wrong answer!

I don’t think @Jaime77 is calling anyone ungrateful–you’re welcome to list disliked subjects on your profile, too. (The subject of phobias/emotional triggers has come up; I think “please don’t send” lists are appropriate for this situation.) I think she’s referring to people whose profiles are mostly restrictive.

Agreed–I recently drew a delightful profile full of things that the person liked! The subjects were so numerous and so varied that I had more trouble figuring out what not to send her! :smiling_face_with_three_hearts: Her profile radiated curiosity and wonder–in this case, a long wish list showed how much she appreciated just about anything!


I agree with what everyone has already said. I appreciate when a profile has a list of wishes. I do want to make them happy when they receive the postcard!! I also love when profiles have a writing prompt or a really long profile. It helps me get an idea of who they are and what kind of message they would most enjoy. I do find it odd when profiles ask not to send certain cards. Will it really hurt you if I sent a touristy card and not the super specific artist you ask for? I do understand if the cards people don’t want are phobia, emotional trigger related.


And about religious cards: I love to receive any card. But, I am not a religious person. I don’t have this in my profile because it is not something that is important to me. If I receive a postcard of a bible verse, I will still be happy to be receiving a card, even if it’s not my thing. So, I can understand people requesting not to receive religious cards. As long as they are open minded and will appreciate/register the card.


I did say ‘something you want to tell me’. If you don’t want to, then don’t!


maybe. but does it also hurt you if someone sends you a tourist card or a card with a dog?

i’m sorry but i will never understand all these don’t send me lists. postcrossing should be easy and fun.
i think we all get cards sometimes that we like a bit less. we say thank you and move on to the next card. i don’t think such lists needs to be included on profiles.


As some people say in America: that dog ain’t gonna bark.

I share your point! I might tell secrets to persons who are close to me, but certainly not to strangers - and Postcrossers are strangers to me, even though we share the same hobby.

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I’d love to put in my profile that I don’t want religious cards. I don’t mind buildings and paintings and so on but Bible verses are something I consider very inappropriate and rude. I worry that if I did write it, I would get even more blessings and general attempts to convert!


Interesting discussion here :slight_smile:
Well for me one of the thing I most enjy is to find the right postcard for the person who I send to. So a wishlist is very helpful as well as a wall with favorites, but also if people write about their interests, but as @Cassiopheia wrote earlier, the interests do not always correlate with what you would liek to see on the postcard.
However I must admit, that I do not really like if people start there profile with many NO’s… I also had recently such a profile - and I could not help it, I asked the person on the postcard, if she knows about the effect these many NO’s have as a first impression…
And I am also sometimes a bit sad, if the wishlists are obviously only there to increase special postcard collections and there are no general topics where you think everybody will be able to find something (like nature/animals/cities or whatever). I have more than 1000 blank postcards but get profiles where I cannot find something matching to their wishes - well then they get any postcard as a surprise :slight_smile: . That is part of the game.
But I have more fun, if I have the feeling, I have the chance to find something appropriate.
I really don’t like the big, fat NO’s … I also have things, I would not reaaly like to receive, so I wrote “I do not prefer”… it still leaves the decision to the sender (sorry for my english).


Maybe you should upload a church as avatar, like me. So far nobody pestered me with religious stuff.