What if person has a DON'T SEND list?

Hello, I am a bit of new in postcrossing. I have limited variety of cards at the moment but hopefully I increase variety in future. To start, I got a few “easier” postcards since it was a bit hard to find landscape of my place (specially because it was new year season and only new year cards dominated market). So my collection is most of special holidays and cat cards.
But person I draw has in their profile a “DON’T SEND THIS” list with those themes and now I wonder what I should do… Can I draw another person in the place so I don’t offend the current person sending wrong postcard of their taste?

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You’re unable to draw another person, however the guidelines for the website indicate that a member cannot indicate in their profile ‘do not send’ criteria. It happens anyway, but send to them what you have available. Don’t feel you need to expand your collection just to fit one members asks.

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Don’t worry too much about it. I’m pretty new to Postcrossing too and at first it seems like everyone else has this vast library of postcards on infinite subjects that they can send, and you have a choice of two to send out. Don’t stress. Remember the requirement that you need to satisfy is to send a postcard. That’s it. I read the person’s profile and I try to send something that I think they will like, and sometimes I just don’t have anything that fits and I do the best that I can. I also think that a sweet enjoyable message on the back can be more powerful than whatever the image is on the front.
I’m way more disappointed when I receive a card from someone with a rapidly written sentence with no thought behind it than when I’m not interested in the subject of the card but there’s a delightful note on the back that brightens my day. Life is too short to worry about these things- do the best that you can and move on. I’m sure someone will love and appreciate what you have, and if this particular person doesn’t, then wait until it is received and move on to the next one.

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Thank you very much for input. I will try to make the possible so there’s still possibility of a nice experience as you have mentioned.

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  1. you ignore said list and send what you have. The deal is send a postcard and people should really stop making it difficult for others.

  2. up to you, but if they come across as really demanding, report them to the admins and they’ll be told to change that

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I have gotten complaints before when my students have sent out postcards in their club and I just ignore it. the students don’t have a high English level and say that but people still complain when they don’t understand what to send.

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But person I draw has in their profile a “DON’T SEND THIS” list with those themes and now I wonder what I should do… Can I draw another person in the place so I don’t offend the current person sending wrong postcard of their taste?

Hello! I usually interpret the “Don’t send list” as a guideline to figure out what the postcrosser prefers~ It is just a point of reference. You do not have to worry too much. I will proceed to send whatever card that I have on hand.

Examples of “Do not”-s that I have encountered:
“Do not send handmade, ad, self-printed cards”-- This probably means they prefer glossy postcards with an attraction on it. (An example: https://hands.net/goods/4516670042364/)
“Do not send animals, cute, cartoon cards” – I will choose something that resembles a real photograph. (Something like this: https://hands.net/goods/4516670027484/)

If you do not have the cards they want at the moment, that’s totally fine too! Perhaps write about the themes they like – if they like landscapes, write about a scenic place you like to visit in Japan? Or if they are history/culture buffs, write about the Japanese culture! If they like flowers, perhaps write about the national flower… or a flower that you really like. It’s the New Year, so I believe you may also tell the postcrosser that it is custom to send Nengajo-s at the beginning of the year! :slight_smile:

The message behind the card is the most important!

Most of us understand that it is very hard to get postcards during such times.
It is a blessing to receive cards from people who bother to take the time to sit down and write! I believe the recipient will appreciate your sincerity from the card! :smiley:

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Everyone has their own priorities, But it is always hard to meet all of them, and it is clearly mentioned in the rules that they are just their wishes, It is not necessary that we should meet their expectations.

In my opinion, It is not wrong to mention their wishes, because that is the theme they know more about, and they can appreciate a lot. If I give a child a million dollars it won’t be happy, at the same time if I give a bar of dollar chocolate the child will be very happy. The same way whatever they are liking they are asking. But no need to meet their expectation.

I usually register everything, whether it is my theme or not. For instance, a few times postcrossers, took a printout in executive bond paper and sent it to me, one member, just written my address and number on chart paper and send it to me with stamps. Since they are committed to their sending and I don’t know about their financial status, how hard to get cards in their place and age, I just registered them.

And If I don’t have any of their themes, I just pick one and send it to them. It is up to them to register it or not. But another trick is, If we use nice stamps, people are appreciating them and registering them for the stamps.

Just “Be good and do good, rest will be assured”.

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This was such a nice view of the subject. Thank you also for the examples provided. I think writting about subjects liked is a great solution, it gave me an idea for this situation. :slight_smile:

Maybe it was a misunderstanding of my part when reading. Because it said “DO NOT send” I thought it mean “NOT AT ALL” as in, it’s forbidden. That it should not be send and it would upset them. And not that it was a preference. So I was worried.

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There are profiles where people mention that they’re “scared of dogs” or have a “spider phobia” - this is a clear hint to really not send this type of card.

Otherwise, I understand “don’t send” just as a somehow rude way to write about preferences. If I’m able to send something they like, I do; if I’m not able, I just send a nice card and message, without excusing for my choice of motif.

But if the registration message is rude too (“I said don’t send this type of card!!!”), I’d report this behavior to the Postcrossing team.

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While I try to fulfill the wishes of a postcrosser, sometimes I can’t because I don’t have the right card, especially now that stores are closed due to the second COVID-19 lockdown for more than 3 months. Then I try to select one that is closest to their wishes, or farthest from their dislikes, and I explain my situation and why I chose the card and stamps. I can’t read the recipient’s mind, of course, but for me it makes a huge difference if I just receive a card I don’t like with no mention why, or if I get the same card with an explanation and, for example, tips what to look up on Wikipedia to get information about something that is of interest to me. As others said, the message on the back of the card often is far more important than the picture on the card. :smiley:

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I agree with this, only in this case you should really avoid that kind of card. Many people is afraid also of butterflies or clowns etc
Other requests are only guidelines. And as many have already said, the most important is your message at the back!
Please take a free advice from an old postcrosser: don’t be worried to please everybody, sometimes you’ll find the perfect card, sometimes not, and it’s not a problem! Our goal is to reach the countries worldwide, to connect people. Sometimes it happens, sometimes not and it’s not your fault! :wink: Enjoy the experience and count on us for anything you need! :heart:

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It’s a dangerous thing to list your phobias as a do not send list. With less English, it’s easy to spot the words and not understand the context.

What are the odds someone will randomly choose a card showing clowns or cheese or whatever you might be scared of? I’d rather take that risk.

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No, it isn’t! It is compulsory to register every postcard received.

I don’t know why, since the new forum started, there is this notion that some people only register what they like. I truly hope it doesn’t happen and I don’t think it should be taken as a fact…

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This might end up doing more harm than good. You only should register postcards, and contact the team for their advise, if you get something else.
And how does it do harm: they end up sending these non-postcards to many people, who then complain here, and people think it’s common when it can be only one person who ruins peoples experience.

Financial status is never en excuse not to send a postcard, because this is the beauty of postcrossing: you are not obliged to send a card at all, there is not amounts you must send to stay as a member. If you don’t have money, don’t take the address.

If it’s not easy to buy postcards, don’t take the address.

(Of course you must register postcards that are postcards, but just not your theme.)

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From the FAQ What can I send on Postcrossing?:

“It can be a postcard you bought in a store or a handmade postcard, as long as it hasn’t been previously used.”

“the only thing you have to send in Postcrossing is a postcard.”

Send. A. Postcard.

:arrow_up: My very simple mantra for “difficult” profiles. :joy:

Yes, count it as basically an anti-preference, which can give you some guidance as to what the person does want.

Other people have made wonderful suggestions already. Personalising the written side with stamps, stickers, washi tape, a beautiful message works wonders. :slight_smile:

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I absolutely aggree with you, but

how can I understand this? For even when it is Christmas you also get all the usual postcards here. People elsewhere do not know the local situation at your place. And even if the situation is the same in whole south-east Asia, there are still people outside Asia who do not know about that situation.

You are sending a gift to a stranger. Don’t worry too much about the front of the card. Make the gift what’s on the back. Send a message of love and joy. The front will take care of itself.

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In brief, I regard such lists as a guideline. Also, it’s a matter of expression. Rather than say “Do Not Send” I will use “Please avoiding sending” or “I prefer not to receive…” Those seem to work better since they come off as a gentle statement rather than a command. As others have said, send something that you personally like; if it is close to their preferences, so much the better.

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I hope you realize that by your registering “everything” you have set a bad precedent for these lazy people. They can draw the inference that the crap they mail out is acceptable; it isn’t. Registering cards or not is not optional.

I don’t buy into this nonsense about not finding cards. If you really can’t find postcards, you should really rethink about joining a postcard exchange organization. These short-timers want to participate on their terms. I wish these people would find another hobby.

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