Oh no! What did I just write?

Today I sent a card with a message that I in hindsight think I should have worded better. The profile mentioned a few things and I tried to be supportive, but it came out a bit awkward and could possibly be seen as insensitive.

Have you ever experienced something similar, have you picked a new card before you sent the first one, to write a better message? Have you ever regretted our doubted your choice of card itself to someone?

Just curious. :slightly_smiling_face:

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Sometimes, if I get the vibe, I tend to overshare a little. In hindsight, I often wondered if it was a bad idea to share so much of my personal life. But so far, everyone appreciated it very much and it really only happened a handful of times. Postcrossers are great people in general. :green_heart:

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Not about a personal matter, but I was sending a card to someone who requested cruiseliners. I had a card of a large overnight ferry, and started writing a message about it not quite being a cruise, but explaining where it travelled, etc. About half way through, I realised I was thinking of the wrong ferry. My whole message was such a shambles, in addition to not actually meeting the wish of the person (which I know is not required, but I like to when possible).

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Hello Bo!

I usually write a lot on cards and sometimes I regretted not writing that much on a card - because of a 'not so informative profile text or a ‘weird’ profil picture.
In my case I’m also a bit careful regarding profil pictures - because my classmates took videos of me, that they were sending out to all their friends (without asking me of course). There had been much more dumb (sorry) things they did - but that would be off-topic.
As I’ve learnt - a ‘unudual’ profil picture and a short profile text don’t say anything about a person. They could be even more friendlier than we expect.

also off-topic: I met my ex girlfriend at school - later I knew that she attended the same class at the after school care club.
And she asked me to be her boyfriend. At that time I had been 14. I told her that I’m feeling myself ugly. I had pimples all over my face and a bit of yellow teeth.
Her reaction only had been: ‘You’re perfect the way you are. Do not doubt.’

This sentence/s had been so heart breaking for me.

What I just wanna say with this story: a picture of a good looking person is fantastic, but what counts on long term are (mostly) inner qualities.

Sorry all for such a long text- I just hsd to share this with you.

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@Axolotl_ I too overshare if I really connect with a profile. Sometimes that has resulted in several enjoyable back and forth PMs, though. No one has come back and complained, either, so I guess I haven’t offended anyone!

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I wouldn’t worry about that :smiley: (but then I’m not one to overshare, I’m pretty private)
I’d much rather get a message that’s genuinely personal and long, than one that’s just ‘Happy Postcrossing!’

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:slight_smile: I’m sorry, but that’s actually kind of a funny story. Made me smile.
I’m sure I’ll end up doing something like that at some point too.

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I rarely pay that my attention to a profile pic, and can’t see how it would affect my message much. But a very short profile text, or even an empty profile can be trickier. Still, the less they write about themselves, the freer you are to write whatever you want. :slight_smile:
But this wasn’t really what the topic was about. I was looking for stories of when people have written something they later wish they hadn’t, or sent a card with a picture that was a poor choice for the recipient (sending something that might look like a spider to someone who is afraid of spiders for example)

Hi! Yesterday I spent a long time choosing a postcard for a woman based on her preferences, and when the choice was determined and the stamps were pasted, I realized with horror that the address was in the name of a man. There was such a cute teddy bear on the avatar in the profile and I was so carried away looking for a postcard that I didn’t check. (And I was wondering why there are so many naked women in favorites :rofl: ) It was an interesting experience. I will be more attentive in the future.
But I didn’t change the card. It’s even funny.

Recently, I almost decorated the card with butterflies. But I noticed that the profile indicated an irrational fear of them. In that case, I would definitely change the postcard. Without a doubt.

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Don’t worry, I’m sure men are able to like cute things as well. Especially as he seems to like cute teddy bears. :wink:

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Who doesn’t love cute Teddy bears? :bear:

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OT, but you were tagged several times in the German forum and were sent several messages. Maybe you’ve overseen the notifications.

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if you chose the card on the profiles preferences i absolutely see no problem here. well besides that apparently men can’t like certain things because some people once decided they are only meant for women (and the other way around).

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YESSSS!
A few weeks ago I got a profile that weirdly triggered me. I slept a night before writing the card (I knew I’d better not write anything in that mood) but the next day when I read the profile the mood came right back m( It’s so dumb, I should just have written something generic and move on, but I screwed up and wrote something that included the whole package from oversharing to possibly… Irritating?

The second it was in the mail I just thought WHYYYY :see_no_evil::see_no_evil::see_no_evil: I was close to opening a thread like this. And yeah turns out the recipient never registered (it’s not expired yet but it should have arrived by now given the country). I don’t even blame him… This was the first time I really didn’t want to write a card. If this ever happens again I’ll sleep another night before writing, or as many nights as needed!

Haha thanks for making the thread, I had to confess somewhere :sweat_smile:

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So sorry to hear that happened to you, but I bet it happens to more of us than you might think.

If you think you really may have offended them, I suppose you could try writing them a message saying you messed up.

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I love to over share , i have just started post crossing , for my first letters it was alot , i had to write like 5 pages and still had more to write but tried to stick to like one or two topics to share about me and my country , i think we connect with someone well and it becomes a long time friendship it can be much fan, i can share on something different in every letter i attach to the post cards i send , there is a long story to tell on anything ( about me , my schooling, my hobbies , work , my family , my friends , my culture , about weddings , politics , covid , etc ) , honestly i don’t enjoy receiving only a post card minus someone sharing to me about anything, it helps me connect…

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I believe I never did it, but this thread made me think about a message that I received from someone to whom I’ve sent an official postcard and it was a bit awkward. :grinning_face_with_smiling_eyes: She told me about two of her friends who have lived in Brazil and married with Brazilian men, but get divorced later and returned to USA with their kids. Then she asked me what’s wrong with Brazilian men. Haha. :neutral_face: I told her that maybe the problem have more to do with their personality than nationality, since I’m married with a Brazilian man and we get on well together. :joy: She never answered my message, though. :sweat_smile: On second thought, I could have asked her what’s the problem with men from US, since both of her friends married with Brazilian men. But I thought it would sound offensive and I really believe she was not trying to be rude and was just oversharing.

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No. Or in other words: I didn’t regret any postcard I sent.

I sent once a bit rude Hooray message, but I did it only because I received very proselytizing postcard. It made me add to my profile that I don’t want to receive religious postcards (unless it’s famous painting on front sent because of pure artistic reasons).

I shared once in quite many details in official how I met my beloved. But it’s not a big secret. It was quite similar story to my recipient’s. She thanked me very much, but later on she deleted details about her personal life from her profile. Maybe she felt that she overshared? I would never know.

My advice: you don’t have to be too personal. There are so many neutral topics, from your favourite song to things you like about your country to last movie you have seen.
When in doubt it’s better in my opinion to write less than regret.

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Yeah, I actually put something to that effect in my profile as well.
Not that it has happened to me, but I was reading about it happening to some other people, so I thought I might as well get that in there before it happened. Hope I confused some of them, because I do like to get cards with churches, mosques and other religious buildings. :slight_smile:

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I rarely think about the card I sent, but sometime I got the vibe that my directness on the card might come as rude for some, since a written message, even as a joke ,can be interpreted in many ways.

Drew an address of someone who dislikes cute things :joy: and told that cute things make them gag. I was like “eehh? Is this person FR?” Lol. I ended up still using washi tape and 1 cat sticker because that’s just how I write most of my cards, and wrote “I hope my washi tape and cat sticker are still tolerable and won’t make you gag”

Hopefully they will take it as joke and not an attempt to offend. Luckily they’re the postcrosser type who value story above cards, and I wrote about spooky, goth things experience, that they like. Still have a hope :joy:

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