Is it rude to ask someone if they got my postcard...?

I am in Virginia and a postcard I sent to Florida has been traveling 14 days. My other USA postcards sent the same time already arrived and one was all the way to Texas. Should I ask the person if they got it yet or do you think it’s a bad idea? Thanks.


I would not do it, but I never do it anyway. It doesn’t seem like such a long time to me, times are crazy. But on the other hand, I’m not from the US and don’t know about your usual travel times. I’d think that either the card didn’t arrive or the person had good reasons not to register it yet. Maybe they have a post office box and can only attend it once a week or maybe they’re ill and at the hospital currently. I try to keep that in mind when I’m thinking “but the card should be there by now”. A few days ago, a card of mine that was sent within Germany was registered after 95 days!


While I don’t think it’s rude to ask someone if they got your postcard, 14 days is way too soon to ask.

Postcards take different amounts of time to reach different locations, even within the same country or same region. There are many factors that determine how fast a postcard travels, e.g. weather, day of the week, number of flights, efficiency of each postal staff, each country’s postal service… To add, mail travel rates are much slower these months due to COVID-19. In short, travel times will always be different.

I would think that a nudge is more appropriate closer to the expiry of the postcard, e.g. after 58-59 days of travelling. However, the Postcrosser may or may not reply, and he/she will also not be obliged to register a postcard he/she did not receive. I have had postcards travel for more than 140 days before arriving.

I used to send a message to the Postcrosser when my postcard was near expiry, but I don’t do it now. I just let it expire and draw a new address. If you were to do it, do it nicely though. :slightly_smiling_face:


Had the mail been running normally it would probably take less than a week to get there. I have penpals there.


My postcards in the US now arrive after 160 days, 14 days is too short a time to worry. But in any case, I would not write and ask if my postcard was received. If it was not registered then there are reasons for this


If you ask nicely then it won’t be rude. I say this because recently I received a few of those messages and some were rude and some not.

I would just wait a bit more. But if you want to ask, I recommend you say something like “if you got my card and somehow couldn’t figure the ID out, it is…” and make it clear that you don’t want them to register the card if it is not arrived yet. Because it is against the rules. Just let them know you are a bit worried. They might answer it or not, it’s their prerogative. But again, it’s probably too soon.


I wouldn’t ask anyone to break the rules. @Angelicca

It was a fine postcard. @Beatitudinem

You can ask if you’re feeling anxious and you want to feel like you’re doing everything you can to make sure your card is registered.

I view this differently. I’ve never messaged anyone to ask if my card has gotten to them because I figure once I’ve put the card into the post box, this is out of my control. If it gets there, that’s fine. If it doesn’t, then that’s fine too. I can send a kazillion messages, but in the end, if it doesn’t get to its destination, that’s it. And I’ve wasted too much of my physical and emotional time sending messages and worrying about it.

I’m honestly a little irritated when people send me messages (polite or rude) asking me if I’ve registered their card. I rarely answer because it’s a trivial thing to check my profile and see that I often visit the site and register cards in a regular manner. If a card doesn’t get to me, it doesn’t get to me. I can’t be blamed if the post office loses someone’s card.


Aside from over the top volumes all year, plus the Christmas rush - don’t forget the big cuts to the US postal service this year plus there are some COVID-19 outbreaks affecting postal sorting stations in different parts of the country.

I’ve had a couple of cards expire going from Canada to the US this year, so I’d be way, way more patient before you ask nicely. Give it a month.


Not rude at all.
I sent message to a member whose last seen was 1 month ago and my card to her was almost expired. The next day she registered my card and she said that she is living in another place for a while and only come back to her address twice a week to check mail. She hasn’t come back to her address for a month because she thought there was no mail for her. She thanked me for remind her so she can check.


It’s not rude, when written carefully. It has helped me in the past. I tell when I have sent the card and describe it. I never tell the ID though, they should not think I only write because I want them to register (even if not received).


I always check the profile of the user for clues:

  • has he/she logged in the last couple of days?
  • how often does he/she register cards?

If they have not logged in for some time, or if they register in bulk, I’m inclined to send a message asking if they have received the postcard yet.
When they have logged in recently and register cards almost daily, I do not send a message. Then I trust the user to register all cards and thus mine has not arrived yet…


While this might be true in most cases, we all make mistakes. It happened to me twice, that (on a busy day) I totally forgot. Once I put it aside and only found it again after months and the other time, I registered all from that day, but one slipped through. I received a message for the 2nd card. After checking my wall, I recognized that it was true and registered with an excuse.


I don’t ask about my expired cards - either they get registered eventually or not. I don’t mind if someone asks me nicely (though I will not register a card I have not received). I have been asked once, and it led to a nice exchange of e-mails and postcards. The actual official postcard, however, is still missing, and it has been more than 2 years now. A real pity, because it was from the Seychelles.


It’s not rude because it’s done commonly enough, even if I do it very rarely and usually only for very specific cases. I would wait at least 3-4 months, because cards can easily take that long.
Even within the same country, I’d give it at least a month, mail is unpredictable and more so nowadays. You read such things about the US mail service these days, it seems like a miracle anything gets there at all!

In fact, I don’t think it’s rude to ask per se, but asking after only two weeks is a bit, if not rude, a bit impatient, no matter how long things take at the best of times … I grew up sending mail and to me every piece of mail that gets to its destination and in a reasonable time is nothing less than a gift!


Greetings. Unfortunately what I think has happened to you is that your experiencing the fallout from the USPS clown show. The Postmaster General has made the USPS a circus. News reports brought this to light and shamed him, that he was forced to act. Then too, 100 million plus mail in ballots were sent in during the US presidential election. Your postcard(s) are there…somewhere.


I do sometimes send a message ask if they have received my postcard, as I might have forgotten to put the ID number on, but I wait until it’s about to expire and the received is active (if the receiver has not been logged on for a month or more, I don’t bother).
Usually I don’t get an answer.


I think it’s rude not to register a postcard. It needn’t be the same day, but within a few days or within a week would be nice. Registering a postcard shows appreciation, and most of us really make an effort to pick the right card and relate to something that has been written in the profile of the person to receive it.
I regularly have postcards travelling within my country which don’t get registered, and when postal services are slow it takes them two work days to deliver, not weeks or even months. I find that quite upsetting.

However, I was asked to register a postcard some time ago that had been mailed only a day before the person was asking me to register. I live in the country side and mail gets delivered towards the evening hours. The postcard did arrive that evening, but the unfriendly message with the request to registered had already arrived in the morning. That was really rude, and I told her.


I was asked recently, and it was a very nice email. They didn’t ask me to register it, just to check if I had it. I replied and asked them to describe the card, and with that I confirmed that I had NOT got it yet, and explained why the Canadian postal service was slower than usual.

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I’ve never asked and I don’t think I have ever been asked.

Mail is funny. I just received a post card from a friend from two provinces away dated December 12th! I have received many others from her between that time. I don’t worry too much when a card is travelling a long time: if it get there it gets there; if it is never registered for whatever reason, that is that! To me, all of this is the charm of the postal services. :slight_smile: