How do you handle a request

How do you handle a request to direct swap and on your profile it says “not interested in direct swaps”? It is a direct message from the Postcrossing site not the forum.

I have just gotten my third one. Do you ignore it? Do you respond?

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I do nothing in the official site. If somebody can’t read or doesn’t understand that I’m not interested in random direct swaps, so what.


If my profile said that I’m not interested in private swaps, I wouldn’t feel committed to answer to a request. But if it’s a nice message, I’d probably have a look at the other’s profile and sent cards to decide if I’m interested nevertheless. :wink:

As I made some bad experiences with swaps via the official site, I’d want to see the card that’s offered, and / or I’d only send my card after receiving the other one’s card.


That was kind of my first thought.

It does pull at my heart strings. I try to stay focused to why I joined Postcrossing. I like having that connection for a moment with someone far away. The surprise to where the next postcard will come from.


I mostly just ignore those, because getting requests while I am clearly not interested on swapping pisses me off so badly it is just better to not reply. But if it is constant like somebody sends request again and again, I will eventually send back a polite but stern message along the lines “I am not interested and I would like to advice you to pay attention to the member’s profile before requesting a swap. Mine says “not interested”.” I use this answer also when I receive a card with swap request (these honestly make me so upset, especially when the only message on card is the swap request.)

I am generally okay with swapping and do it now and then, but my first rule is that if somebody sends me request while I am clearly stating I am not interested, I will not swap with them then or at any later date. If they can’t bother to read my profile and respect the “not interested” note, they probably will not bother to make a good swap either.


I hear you! My first thought was, “but it says I am not interested in direct swaps”–why is this person sending me a request??? :confused:

I use the official website for the same reasons - the surprise when I draw an address, the connection I try to create with my card, the joy when I get a friendly hurray message or find a great card in my mailbox. :blush:

In my beginner times I also have arranged some swaps via the official site, but I always chose members who stated their interest in direct swaps. If someone doesn’t pay attention at that, it makes the impression that the choice of profile is just randomly, like there’s no real interest in doing a good swap.


I think some people just send out mass requests for swaps, hoping that a at least a few people respond. It seems to come in waves about every 5 or 6 months.

I turned off my swaps after a few annoying instances (one swapper was sending out mass emails with everyone’s email addresses in it, and sending stuff in used envelopes with other Postcrossers’ name and address still attached!!!) Most swaps were nice and normal, though.

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I would ignore it. I don’t do swaps on the Official site. It’s a perfect way to get cheated.

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I ignore it.

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I am interested in direct swaps and I swap a lot!(I already swapped for nearly 150 cards)Seems like not too many people cheat me!
Because when I think the user is suspicious,I won’t send cards unless his/her cards arrive!


I ignore it. What would I say besides “as I said on my profile, I’m not interested in direct swaps”? Hardly seems worth my time.


even if i ve set my preference to “no direct swaps” I will reply that im not interested… polite and it takes me 1 minute. Plus there were a few occasions that I ended up swapping and it was a great experience.

I understand most really dont wanna swap, but some people prefer to try and fail than not try at all. It doesnt ruin my day, it doesnt cost me anything and i just take it easy. Ignoring someone’s message feels like Im being just like them, ignoring my wish not to swap…


Thanks for the responses. I go back and forth with how I feel about it. Bottom line, I just want to stay focused on why I joined Postcrossing. The surprise element is what I like best about Postcrossing: where will the next one be from and where will I send the next one?! :mailbox_closed: :heart: :mailbox_closed:

In my case, although I have clearly mentioned that I do not wish to direct swap, I have received many swap requests.
In such a situation, I usually do reply that person, stating that I appreciate their message but do not wish to swap cards at that moment.
It’s just a polite way of declining, rather than ignoring.


Hi everyone,

I take the time to respond, even if it is quite clear in my profile that I am not interested in direct swaps. Due to recent events in my life I tend to give people the benefit of the doubt so my first reaction is: ‘if this folk took the time to ask, I should kindly explain why I will / won’t agree’.

Then I simply reply as follows:

"Thank you for your kind request, but currently I am not interested in direct swaps. Have a great day"

It costs zero to be polite, so why not putting it nicely and make your point clear at the same time?

If said individual insists, then I simply ignore further messages.

BTW I got two requests so far.

My thoughts are, if I already state “no”, and the message box gives a reminder about that too, and they still ignore it, I have no need to be polite to such person. There’s a huge risk they won’t listen other things or wishes I tell them, as it’s clear they think only themselves.

So, it’s better to be silent, and normally I don’t waste my time replying. I think most of them don’t even remember who they ask. And also, if I have stated no swaps, asking for it’s not nice, and I don’t like reacting to bad behaviour, as any answer is a reward to them and reinforces them to continue their behaviour. That may even cause them bombarding others with accusing “well all the others replied blaa blaa”.

In my mind I have thought, as they ignore my “no swaps”, what do they think and how will they react, if I agree to swap with them, and then ignore their say Moomin wish, and send whatever I like :laughing: Because, if they ignore my wish, I can behave the same.


Hmmm…hard to disagree with you. You undoubtedly made a point.
Your ‘remain silent before requests which I already made clear I don’t want to deal with’ is by all means correct.
Forgive my rookie, the-world-is-nice attitude. I guess that finding your inbox full of such requests must fed you up to the extreme. Who knows, maybe I myself must follow your advice as I continue to use this website.

I wish I could please everyone but I have a budget for postcrossing. My profile says “No private Swaps” but I still get requests through the site, throught this forum, forum private message and many times through my received cards. For example today I got a card that reads the following:

“This is my first time sending a postcard to your country. I would like to know more about your country, would you please send a card to the address above?”

I get this many times on my received postcards. I feel bad ignoring it, but people should understand how postcrossing works. I already sent a card, in order to get theirs.

From time to time I do swaps but obviously the preference is on rare countries like mine.