Giving negative opinions on profile

Postcrossing General Topics
21

I like history too, and I would appreciate a card from Auschwitz. Such cards give me pause for reflection. It is important that such things are never forgotten.

I think some folks are here for happy vibes only? That’s ok too, I guess we are all here for our own reasons.
Based on the message they wrote (… terrified that someone would like to receive such a depressing postcard, that his/her good mood would instantly disappear when opening his/her mailbox and find a card with such a theme in it…), it seems the sender was unable to see past their own reactions and feelings. I am surprised they shared such a message with you though, instead of keeping it more simple and neutral with a message they were glad or relieved to have a recipient for that particular card.
I have a special stack of cards waiting for a recipient who will enjoy receiving them. :woman_shrugging:t2:

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22

Did you report him? Those racist views go against community guidelines.

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23

That is actually not a mean comment. I guess the person did not know how to deal with the this sensitive topic and simply expressed it.

I wrote once a super mean comment on a postcards I received :smiley: :sweat_smile::speak_no_evil::hear_no_evil::see_no_evil: and it was meant to be mean. But the person was super nice and chill and we started to discuss via E-Mail and than later we became pen pales. So I learned from this, that it is better to step back and see things from different angles. And now and than we provoke each other on purpose :smiley:

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24

Don’t worry about this, it almost never happens. I’ve been a PC member for almost 4 years now & I’ve rarely heard of it happening.

Yes, sometimes people get frustrated by profiles that might be too picky or directive, but you don’t have to meet their needs & they don’t have the right to make demands, you just have to send them a postcard of your choosing.

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25

Well…one time I drew a name for a person and his entire profile was I want stamps. So, I sent him a postcard with a lot of stamps and the message. Here are your stamps. He was thrilled. :joy:

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26

I only received one card like this, but the experience stuck with me…

The cheapest generic card you could imagine (cut out of a larger sheet, with just a pattern on it). A pre-printed message that mostly just said “I know some people don’t like pre-printed messages, but I don’t care.” Then, in hand-writing under the printed message, something like “wow, your profile is so demanding, you clearly don’t understand the meaning of postcrossing”.

After a couple of days of trying to process these two contradictory things - a minimal effort card that accused me of ‘not doing postcrossing right’ - I decided to just register with a blank hooray.

I’d normally at least say thank you, even if I didn’t feel inspired to say more. But I didn’t feel like I should have to say thank you for something so unpleasant.

Of course, a blank hooray just lead to another nasty message.

This is genuinely the only nasty experience I’ve had in 10+ years of postcrossing, and yet the details stick with me and I feel anxious again just thinking about it. Please try and send happiness into the world, not anger!

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27

Fortunately I don’t get direct negative comments, but occasionally the “I don’t have anything that fits your profile list blah, blah…”

I don’t understand the need to say this…instead why not just write about yourself, the weather, pets, hobbies etc? Keep the message nice; no need for the indirect complaint about my profile info.

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28

The audacity! Thanks for sharing this.

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29

It’s not about you or a complaint most times - they’re anxious about not meeting your needs or expectations or not getting your approval. Lots of people worry about this too much, but it’s how many humans are built.

You see on profiles with 1000’s of cards - they say this explicitly to reassure people - “Don’t worry about not having any of my preferences, no need to apologize, any card you send will be fine”

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30

:hushed:

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31

I can’t speak for other people, but I’ve mentioned not having something from their wishlist or preferences so that they know I read the profile. I have received a few postcards and definitely got the feeling they didn’t.

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32

Postcrossing community is nice, i had praised all the cards i received, and all of them had sent me very nice message about my cards, many have also liked my small details i did

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34

Now and then I get cards with messages like “yuck… you have spiders and roaches as pets? They disgust me!” (Paraphrased of course, some are worded nicer :sweat_smile:)
I always think to myself… hey, I like my little critters, you don’t even have to see them. Why insult them? My poor little crawlies!

I even added to my profile that of course they’re in terrariums, as some people seemed to think I just let them roam freely and have a glorified roach infestation. :rofl:

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35

I can’t remember a negative comment about my profile in over five years (with more than 4.000 sent cards).

I’m so sorry to read about the bad experiences some of you made! :worried: Postcrossing is a hobby which should basically bring joy. If it doesn’t, why do people continue nevertheless and act out their negative feelings on others?!

If I draw an address with an unfriendly or even nasty sounding profile (and yes, there were some), I do my duty and send a card, then go on to the next profile. I remember getting in touch with the Postcrossing team about two or three profiles, to give my negative opinion to them, instead of the profile owners.

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36

I love this thinking and it is so beautifully worded. Thanks.

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38

I have never received a negative comment, but sometimes someone writes that they completely disagree with me. I got comments like this quite often in the past when my profile was a little different. :woman_shrugging:t2: I don’t count that as a negative though. It was said in a positive way.

I have occasionally briefly mentioned the recipient’s demanding profile, for example if the person demands a card in an envelope or something, but I guess that can’t be unfriendly, even if some people think so.

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39

Not exactly related to theme, but…

Last year I’ve got a message to official PC profile from russian girl. We’ve never had communicate before, never swapped a card, never had each other PC addresses…

It was very rude message. She laughed of war and had joy of her country invaded to mine and then wished all Ukrainians to be eliminated.

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40

I sometimes had messages, on cards, saying I don’t say anything about myself in my profile, so they don’t know what to write :roll_eyes:.

Personally, I think, what one likes says quite a lot about the person and anyway, if they love to write, it doesn’t have to be about me!

I also got one card saying I have the most demanding profile they have ever encountered and that they would not do as I wish. Of course - as the rules say - anyone can send any card they like. Even if people would have to stick to the wishes of the recipient, how could that ever be enforced?

Luckily it was a really nice card! :grinning:

I sometimes had empty “thank you” messages, which I find really rude/disappointing, but maybe it was in a script my computer/mobile phone doesn’t support (but then I wouldn’t have understood it anyway! :crazy_face:), so who knows?

I always try to fulfill the wishes of the recipient of the cards (if there is a text in the profile), but sometimes it is just not possible for me, so I understand I can’t please everyone.

Regarding the comment, that my profile is demanding, I don’t think so. I’d like “touristy” cards, but I know some people hate to send such cards, so I have added a list of things/animals/plants/people, of which a card would not disappoint me either. So, I seriously believe, to like “touristy” cards best is not demanding!

Thankfully the largest part of Postcrossing members is nice and not rude, spiteful (yes, I’ve had such comments also!) or full of hate. :slightly_smiling_face:

Otherwise I wouldn’t have been around for so long! :hugs:

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41

Horrible! :scream: This should definitely be reported to the Postcrossing team.

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42

I think the “problem” for some people could be that you ask for unwritten card in an envelope if their chosen card doesn’t fit your collection. It probably implies to them that you are using the blank postcard to send it to someone else.

Personally, I choose in such cases just envelope and unwritten postcard with a little sticky note + ID. For me it’s okay if this is the way I can bring joy to other people. Totally okay.

But I can also understand if some people doesn’t like that way as there is no real connecting. But they could also simply ignore that and send a written card as always - no need to mention it.

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