Connecting, not collecting

For me, the people who use words like “Do not send me…” or “you must…” or “I only collect/want…” come across as quite demanding. Luckily, those are in the minority but they are out there.

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I think the change came out of one of the threads here complaining about demands.

Also some profiles look like a shopping list and it makes you feel like you’re Amazon and take the fun out of connecting.

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I signed up 12 years ago to hopefully add to my Native American/First Nations card collection. Its such a rare category so obviously thats not the only reason I have stayed, but I am always delighted to receive one even still.
And I do feel I have made a connection when I can send someone a card or stamps that they hope to receive. Its unlikely to be the exact one, but a broad general category (maps, flags, birds, national landmarks, whatever) to brighten their day. We won’t become BFF with this and we will never even meet, so its a momentary connection. Brief but fleeting, and thats ok.

Each of us has our own reasons for participating and there is no reason to question others who participate for their own reasons. We dont all send the same cards, use the same color of ink pen, or buy the same stamps. Enjoy the activity, but let the rest of us enjoy it in our own way too (even if that means collecting a few special cards along the way).

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I just looked at your profile, and found it friendly and interesting - not demanding at all :slightly_smiling_face:

I think the message is meant to reassure people who encounter a profile that has a long list of very specific wants, or worse, “don’t wants,” that they do not have to comply with such demands. A profile like yours - where you talk about yourself, request certain basic themes in a friendly way, and don’t exclude cards outside those themes, probably wasn’t intimidating anyone in the first place :slightly_smiling_face:

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It really is good that such a message appeares from time to time. I remember how distressing was as a newby to receive an address and find out something like “I collect only cards with donkeys and rare coins.” And “do not send me” list of 10+ points. I understand that we all have our likes and dislikes (me included), but such uncompromising lists can be discouraging for new members.

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They certainly can.

I have only sent a handful of cards but have seen a profile that stops just short of need/must/want. Thankfully it was a friend that got me into this and did warn me that profiles like that do exist.

I don’t think the recipient was overly keen on the card they received but did register it.

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Collecting is not opposite of connecting. (Or it should not be.)

It is nice and funny if you find a person who is interested in the same rare topics as you are.
For example: I like so called outsider art and I have talked about outsider art with many postcrossers. And just talked, because postcards of this theme are rare too.

I also like detailed lists. It is much interesting to read that a person likes “raccoons” or “dugongs”, not just “animals”. I saved my raccoon-postcard to a person who loves raccoons, so my raccoon-card found a good new home.
If I don´t have a specific postcard, I don´t worry. I don´t take any “wish lists” as demands.

But I think that long “don´t send” -lists are boring and pointless in every way.

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I have a ‘dugong’ local tourist postcard (Florida manatees). I’ve run across one member who has "dogs’ on their Imperial Scroll… with a note that they’re really interested in only two rare breeds.

I think it can be useful in some case, like if the receiver prefers for example animals, art and local views, and I have none.
But I have Easter cards, Moomin and blossoming tree.
If they list, please don’t send cartoon, I know I won’t send the Moomin card. So even when I don’t have something they wish, I can not to send something they don’t want, so their wish is fulfilled that way :slight_smile:

But just like you, I like detailed list and reading what common things we like.
Maybe not so much of certain TV series which I don’t know (I accidentally sent a card of Swedish royals to someone who liked a TV-serie Royals :grin: )

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That is true!

Also it is good to know if some Postcrossers don´t celebrate Christmas or Easter, so I won´t send gnomes, santa clauses, decorated eggs or other season greetings to them, even though those cards would not be exactly of religion theme.
Also it is nice to know if someone prefers photos to illustrated or vice versa.

( …royals… :smile: )

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I have actually resorted to going inactive in December because I cannot stand anything Christmas-related :joy: In previous years I had put a polite “please no Christmas” note but I don’t like to do that and anyway not everybody reads it, or cares, or maybe they want to send only Christmas stuff in December or they don’t have anything else at the moment so who am I to spoil their fun? :laughing:
Well last December I had sooo many more received than sent that I didn’t even need to bother :sweat_smile:

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I deleted 2 Posts, because here is not a Trade topic. Please go to the #trades-requests-offers section, if you would like to trade cards.
Or send a PM to the user whom you would like to give the cards.

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“(I accidentally sent a card of Swedish royals to someone who liked a TV-serie Royals :grin: )”

I could totally see myself doing this :laughing: misunderstandings are my forte :roll_eyes:

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I agree, the “don’t send” lists can be helpful sometimes. For instance, some people have fear of certain animals (ie. dogs, spiders), and that way I can avoid sending cards and/or stamps that might contain such things.

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This is very true! I came across someone who also likes [European] badgers. So for him, I chose a very special badger postcard among the few that I have left from when I lived in the UK. He really appreciated it, and it was a delight to share this interest – one that is rare here in Canada – with someone else.

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I couldn’t agree more. I love when I read a wishlist and have the perfect postcard to send. It also helps me to connect with the receiver.

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