I remember one day my aunt called me if I’ve forgotten her birthday. Huh? I looked at the calendar…then at the clock…
It was 10 o’clock in the morning ON her birthday… 
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Having a phone call on the correct date is the better way, I think!
My grandmother always sends me birthday wishes several days ahead but never late, so I don’t think it is a generational thing? Maybe there are regional differences within Germany, too?
@Cassiopheia If a letter from family arrives around one week before the birthday, it is usually safe to assume that you are meant to open it on your birthday, at least for me. 
Where do your birthday wishers live that they miss the correct date by months? 
@Angelthecat Wow 
I have way too many aunts and uncles, I don’t even try to send all of them birthday wishes…
@RalfH Yep, definitely. Or, in my generation, a whatsapp chat 
But I do like to send postcards, too, if I remember in time.
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I will get it when we meet, because we only see each other 2 times a year and that one is way closer to our birthdays 
I had no idea about this German custom/superstition! I used to work with a bunch of Germans, and I’ve probably done this several times, and they were just too polite to mention it
I’m trying my best to remember if we have anything like that in Denmark, or any way a postcard could be offensive, but I don’t think so. Although there may be some things that are just not coming to mind because they seem so normal to me.
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That sounds awful.
I also learned through postcrossing that the swastika is not forbidden in other countries like it is in Germany.
NEVER send a nazi symbol through the post to German postcrossers, you are not only committing a faux pas but something that is considered a crime in Germany. It has only been a few years that even a crossed-out swastika isn’t forbidden and punishable anymore. (At least I think it isn’t prohibited anymore, would have to do some research to say for sure)
After researching: Anti-nazi symbols have apparently been allowed since 2007
On the other hand, in ex-communist countries, hammer and sickle are forbidden which aren’t in Germany. I learned this through postcrossing and had no idea before. How bad is it to receive something like this? There are still flags in use that have the symbol of hammer and sickle on them, I’ve seen the symbol on postcards, too. I even sent one! I didn’t know about it then. Today, I would probaby think twice before sending a card like this.
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A tiny trick: it’s rare that Chinese surnames have more than one syllable. So if the name given is something like Wang Xianghui — Xianghui would be the name, and Wang the surname. If they both have just one syllable, it gets a little trickier.
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Clever you! Thank you, that is a useful trick!
I never knew this was a German thing! I thought it was like that at least in Europe. Postcrossing is so educational! 
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First of all, thank you so much to everyone who has responded so far. Your answers and opinions are very helpful, and now I know to be extremely careful wishing Germans a happy birthday! 
All kidding aside, this is very educational!
@Feuerstuhl, @Jarana, @Angelthecat, and @Martin-CZE, thank you for your input on military and war-themed postcards and stamps. I have drawn several profiles recently whose wishlists include military vehicles, artillery, propaganda, and so forth; I can understand their interest in historical progression and even advancements in military technology, even though–like you–I do not celebrate the concept of war in general.
On the subject of controversial symbols, I wonder: are images from ancient Hinduism and other Eastern religions that include the swastika also banned in Germany (and elsewhere)? Although the symbol was usurped to mean something starkly contrary to its original significance, I would not be surprised if it is regularly avoided.
@RalfH, I am so very sorry that happened to you. 
Even though it is a small consolation, I am glad that the sender was remorseful and willing to send you a new card to make things right. Perhaps the sender was given false information about the card before buying it. This is a good reminder to all of us to verify what’s on our cards!
@Angelthecat, you showed an excellent example of a postcard that might be understandably emotional for some Postcrossers to receive.
Although I think you are wise to be cautious about sending it, personally, I would not feel insulted if it were sent to me, and here is why: While it is undeniably a heartbreaking image, it does not benefit us to forget that it happened. It is a sobering reminder that war is a hideous thing, to be avoided always. Something interesting to note here in particular is that in the United States, many of us claim German ancestry, and there are certainly Americans whose grandparents and great-grandparents were directly affected by the devastation. The same applies to Americans of Japanese ancestry (whom the US government treated deplorably during and after the war, to add insult to injury 
).
Instead of interpreting a card like yours as an attempt to shame me or my ancestors who joined the Allied Forces, I would feel very humbled by both the image itself, as well as the amount of trust that it took for you to share this meaningful piece of history with me. 
@Feuerstuhl, the card that you received of the Hiroshima Peace Memorial Museum is another that I would treasure for this reason. Although this is my personal opinion, and I cannot speak for other Postcrossers, receiving a card like this would be an emotional experience, but not a hurtful one.
(That was a very heavy subject, and I hope I have not said anything out of line. Please let me know if I have. After all, this topic is about avoiding cross-cultural faux pas! 
)
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Actually, in Germany it is not the “Swastika” that is banned but the “Hakenkreuz” which is the nazi symbol – German language has two separate words for both symbols while, alas!, English has only one – the “Hakenkreuz”, meaning hooked cross, comes with certain colors (black, white and red – the former German colors before black, red and gold) and usually goes in one direction and not the other, it doesn’t have dots or swirls either. The ancient religious symbol “Swastika” is not forbidden in Germany! And nobody will complain if it is clearly embedded in a religious meaning. But of course, probably everyone thinks twice before using it. As far as I know, it is a rather common symbol in the history and traditions of certain parts of Asia – but it is not as common in Germany as the country doesn’t have much of a Hindu or Buddhist history and because of the nazi history, even if the symbol was also used in Europe as a symbol of luck before WWII, afterwards it was also often removed. You have to search rather long if you want to find a swastika here that has not been smeared there by a nazi (and then crossed out by someone else) but has a nice meaning instead…
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Thank you for your warm words, @PinkNoodle! The sender apologized and that sounded very honestly. She also sent another card, which would not have been necessary, for first one was a regular postcard, so the sender had done her duty anyway. But I stoll remember that card, although the whole matter was some years and maybe 2000 or 3000 received cards ago.
Let’s be careful with those war- and extremism-related things!
In the last years I have visited the “In Flanders Fields Museum” in Ypres, Belgium. It is about the first world war. Ypres was the place of the fierced fightings of that war and it was the first place where poison gas was used. I bought some postcards of the military cemetaries there and sent them via Postcrossing, just to remind where war leads.
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This is my fear too.
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Thank you for this interesting topic! I could learn many new things!
French word for Fräulein is “mademoiselle” and it also tends to be outdated and sexist. That wasn’t the case a few years ago. It disappears progressively from official documents, with only “Monsieur” and “Madame” now.
This is true in France too, we do not send greetings or party before the actual day.
As a French (with two grandfathers who were in that war), I wouldn’t be offended by your card. I would rather feel sorry for Germany, who also suffered many losses and destruction.
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I think that is a thoughtful, gentle way of sharing a nation’s history and simultaneously communicating the importance of working toward peace. I think having a few postcards to share of memorials and museums would satisfy those with a specific interest in history, but also uphold your own values regarding human life. A good compromise. 
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I once remember sending a card of a Tibetan rug which pictured a Swastika pattern. To be on the safe side, I wrote about what the swastika symbol means in Buddhism.
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As an American ex-pat in Germany, I had a lot of problems with the formal versus informal addressing of people.
For Postcrossing to German users, I think you should not use “Frau” or “Herr” + last name except in the address if you want. This is because Postcrossing is more like a Verein – or club – than a business. People who are in the same verein together address each other in the informal “you” even if they do not really know each other outside their club.
(as an aside, while some people, as @Cassiopheia mentions, who live in big cities may address business colleagues informally by first name, in less “cosmopolitan” areas even colleagues who have worked with each other for years will call each other by last name, especially if others are in earshot. I do this myself in the library – my colleage and I are on a first-name basis with each other if we are the only ones there, but if anyone else walks into the library, I am Frau X and he is Herr Y.)
The tabu about not congratulating someone before the date of their birthday or anniversary, the birth of their baby, or whatever is definitely true in my region as well. (I stepped in a few puddles that way, like when someone toldl me they would not be somewhere because it was their birthday, and I said oh, congratulations! and got an odd stare in response)
In my experience, the historical things are not so tabu as some others have reported. A Red Baron Fokker card wouldn’t raise any eyebrows, I think, although I would probably avoid anything that looked like it was promoting Hitler or Nazis. But I would never send a card like that to any country!
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Well, I guess I haven’t phrased too well… I said Germans mostly adapted to the international style (calling by First name) in international situations. Even if they might call themselves by last name. It’s really odd! During a meeting with American customers calling each by first name and afterwards by last name. As I don’t work in a traditional company, we all call each other by first name - but we need to call all our German business contacts by last name, compared to our international business contacts.
I’ve just stumbled across this 7 minute video (in English) if anyone is curious. It’s a nice little series, from a British living in Germany.
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It’s funny…for the first year or two it was really weird to me getting called “Frau Lastname” instead of just “Courtney.” It was hard for me to introduce myself as “Lastname” instead of “Courtney,” and the people who met me when I first started at the library (including kids!) still address me as Courtney, because I felt so weird back then introducing myself by my last name!
But now I am used to the “traditional” German way and I must say I like it better. While sometimes for “intermediate” connections it may be hard to know which form of address is best, I find it conveys an attitude of respect and I’ve come to prefer it to the false closeness of addressing people one doesn’t have any personal connection to. If I went back to working in the U.S. of course I would just be “Courtney” again but I would miss having a less or more formal identity, so to speak, in my personal and professional life.
To me, however, Postcrossing is a club of like-minded individuals engaged in the same social activity, and that gives us enough of a personal connection that (unless, as I have rarely encountered, the person’s profile states their name as Mr. or Ms. X) here I am “Courtney” and I address others by their first names, too!
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That’s a good sum-up of everyday struggles in Germany! I used to be at an institution at which I was a “client” and would “Mr/Ms Lastname” the supervisers there for years. Immediately after the “client/supervisor” relationship ended, I was told to use first names and it felt suuper weird! You know, the relationship didn’t really change that much, it’s just another environment now.
We have an American prof at uni now and she just goes as Mel with everybody. It feels weird to call a prof by her first name to my German mind, haha.
I address everyone on the internet by first name, except when I’m talking to customer support or replying to business/uni e-mails…
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