Avoiding cross-cultural faux pas

Postcrossing General Topics
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I received some military postcards and stamps that I found terrifying, where they basically just parade their military and new weapons. This is rather unthinkable in Germany. I mean, I guess you CAN also find at least postcards like this if you are very acquainted with the military? Maybe??
For educating my mind that there are still countries who do this openly and possibly do not wish for world peace, it is sad but also a wake-up call, so I while I don’t like to receive it, I don’t mind that much, I find it interesting if terrifying. However, I would never send something like this out. No matter to which country.
Historical stuff is in my mind totally different since it is, well, history. Alas, celebrating your own country’s won wars also seems like gloating and tastes like ash in my mouth. I used to not have a problem with that either. But then I once sent a postcard to another postcrosser and that postcard showed this image:


And the receiver told me that she was very surprised that the postcard came from Germany. She would have expected it to be maybe from Russia. But if I was Russian, I wouldn’t have sent the card… We had a long and interesting discussion about this and I learned that it is rather unusual for a country to basically celebrate its own defeat. :sweat_smile: Before this, I sent out several cards showing the ruins of Germany to my German friends, too. For us it is a memorial not to repeat the same mistakes. Now I learned that other people see the past war(s) and these images differently, some still celebrate war and I am having mixed feelings about all of this. I am more reserved about these kinds of cards nowadays. I don’t think I have a single one in my stock at the moment.

But those propaganda stamps about modern military just seem like a threat to all other countries – not very nice, no matter which country you send them to.

I actually once received a picture of the original photograph that the Unconditional Surrender was based on. I had no idea what it meant and the sender probably didn’t have any idea either :sweat_smile: Thank you for educating me! Well, since it seems like a sightseeing highlight, I don’t think I would mind receiving a postcard about it! Same with museums and old photos etc. – as long as the message is thoughtful and not boasting, if you get what I mean.

On the other hand, I received a card once from Japan about the Flame of Peace at the Hiroshima Peace Memorial and I received a card that advertises peace from the UN and I like both of them very much, in their own ways :smiling_face_with_three_hearts: We have an Anti-War-Museum at Berlin and I wish they had postcards – although I fear they could be quite gruesome.

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22

Thank you to @Jarana for the link to the description of Unconditional Surrender; I was unaware of the statue and its installation in several world cities. Of course, I am familiar with the famous Eisenstaedt photograph on which it is based, and I suspect that the image has become so firmly ingrained in pop culture that many people may not even consciously associate it with a time of widespread violence. Still, like you, I would consider my recipient before sending it, especially since the statue has a provocative name.

The 10¢ pear stamps are on my to-buy list! Thank you to @Lleytoncassidy for the homophone explanation. On the subject of stamps, flower stamps are a popular choice for many Postcrossers. Given the significance of certain flowers across the globe, I wonder if anyone has objections to certain ones. Choosing a stamp is hardly the same as giving someone a fresh bouquet, but I wonder if the significance ever applies to postage, too. :thinking:

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I totally agree.
I once got a illustrated card, that shows a military parade aroud the flag of the country. The main theme of the card are not the soldiers, it’s the flag. I don’t feel it as propaganda, just as interesting cultural difference.

Sometimes it felt weird for me to show that I’m proud of my own country e. g. with the flag.
That’s why I have the EU-flag displayed.

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Me, too! :sweat_smile: Germans and national pride don’t go very well together. And I also chose it because of the anti-EU climate that has been growing in Europe :slightly_frowning_face:
It is quite funny if you think about it. Once, the black-red-golden flag had been a sign of hatred for all German monarchists since it was a symbol of defeat after WWI. They were burned by patriots. Nowadays, by the same flag you can recognise patriots and soccer fans. I don’t want to be confused with either of those groups, no German flag for me! Times change :laughing:

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25

I believe I read in the forum once that it was unlucky in some culture to extend birthday wishes before the actual day – does this ring a bell with anyone?

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Yes, you don’t do that here, as it brings bad luck! I don’t see it so seriously, though. I usually wish Postcrossers a happy birthday when their birthday is in about two weeks time of sending the card.

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You should never do it in person here in Germany. But as you cannot predict how fast mail will travel, it’s not a problem on a postcard or in a letter :wink: But when thinking about it, I myself wouldn’t write Happy Birthday but instead something like I’m wishing you a nice birthday or similar. But I don’t mind using birthday stickers or birthday washi to decorate.

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My understanding — which is based in my perception as these things are usually not written down — is that it’s not the wish itself that is the problem: if one receives the happy birthday wish in advance, he/she/they should not thank for it — as that is supposed to bring bad luck or something.

There’s also a thing where one should never have their birthday party before the actual date. After is fine, but never before. Example, your birthday is on a Monday, so you celebrate it on the weekend after (for example) — never the weekend before, despite it being closer to the actual date.

:man_shrugging:

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I don’t think it brings bad luck but as @paulo said, you just don’t do it. At least not in person. The other way around, with letters, it is actually quite common to send them beforehand but to only open them on the actual day. If the letter arrives after the birthday, it is too late!
In my experience, it is worse to send congratulations for a baby when the mother is still expecting. Something could go wrong and then the well-wishes will only hurt more – something along the lines. But I don’t think this will happen often in Postcrossing :wink:

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I agree with this :). Or actually, any military stuff, including postcards.

To be honest, I was surprised to wish receiving a military/war postcard. I bought that one in antique shop (it was blank), so I wrote a message it makes me bit uncomfortable send such a card. I hate those topics, but I did just my best to fullfil wishes. It was postcard of our 20-21 August 1968. I was suprised to send it to Baltic countries.

I am checking the date of birth of people I am sending postcard to, but it is small chance being close to (expected) delivery date. So I just usually don’t wish or I forget writing it :cry:

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I sometimes worry about using the wrong name when addressing a Chinese postcrosser. Usually, they write the last name first and the first name last in the address. But some use the Western custom and reverse this. Very often, both first and last name sound ‘exotic’ to me, so I don’t know which is which. I wonder how many Chinese postcrossers I have inadvertently offended by starting my postcard ‘Hello surname’. I apologise!!! Sometimes I even said just ‘Hello’ without a name to avoid this problem.

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Same for me! :see_no_evil:

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I experience this too! Sometimes I write “Hello [full name]” just to be sure! When they filled out the name section in the profile (when the profile is titled “a little something about [name]”), I usually use this one, as they gave it as their name to the website. That seems safe enough to me.

I didn’t even know that, but on the other hand, only one of my friends is a mom so far. :sweat_smile: I would usually wish “Alles Gute” or “all the best” in this case, that’s neutral enough I guess.

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I must have pulled the wrong addresses. Mine said “a little something about [postcrossing username]”, so no big help! Although using their chosen username is probably better than accidentally using their surname.
So sorry, dear Chinese postcrossers, I hope to get more familiar with your culture and names and hope to avoid any faux passes in the future :kissing_heart:

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I think this a real interesting topic - thanks for open it!

I remember years ago I read also about avoiding red pens to writing to a Korean (or better: I read to any Asian and any shades of red).
As I don’t like red sooo much this isn’t any problem, sometimes I use it to mark an ID or RR, but not to any Asians.
So, about three years ago, it happened the first (and since then every now and then) I received a card from Korea (!) written with a red pen. I was wondering (but also didn’t ask, maybe I should have to) and I’m still avoiding the red color but then I started using at least purple / violet etc.

I also try to avoid any things who could maybe upset someone else. But I also won’t my postcrossing to become a science.

For Germans I guess @Cassiopheia had said the important things. And thanks to @Feuerstuhl to specify about military things.
I, personally, welcome historical stuff, even if they have a Nazi symbol. I’m very interested in such things. Maybe, because my mother and her family lived during WW II and unfortunately in the “Stadt der Reichsparteitage” - Nuremberg :roll_eyes: - so until today I’m very near to that dark piece of History. But this is the side of History. If someone sends me a (modern) card with racist or fascist sayings, pictures, symbols or whatever or even describes me as someone like that, well, that person has definitely not found a new friend in me.
Also cards showing the triumph of the Allied Forces is for me never a problem. Some of those pictures are very famous and definitely a historical thing. I also would welcome the stamps with Anniversary of the end of WW I or WW II stamps. I never knew that they are existing.
But nevertheless I strongly advise not to send something like this to anyone in Germany who does not explicitly state it on their profile.

Infact I have one card in my collection which I haven’t dared to send until today :see_no_evil:

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48966571643_a6d3c71e2b_o1992×1401 960 KB

The card says: " View of Nuremberg, destroyed by bombing in 1945"

I would never send this card to an American / English, as I’m afraid he could maybe think I will tell him: “Look, what you’ve done?”, which is, of course, very far away. But a friend of mine mentioned this and now this thought is always in my head when I see the card. I don’t know if this is a bit paranoid - so if someone wants to get this card, feel free to send me a message.

Birthday cards / congratulations before the date is also a thing in Germany you should avoid.

And like @Bayrisches-Madl and @Cassiopheia I’m having problems with Chinese names. So very often I write just “Hello”. The same when I receive a card and I cannot read the name (pleeease dear postcrossers - write at least your name clearly). It happend a few times that I made “John” to “Jake” or, much better, “RicardO” to “RicardA” etc. Since that I write also only “Hello” in the Hurray-Mail.

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36

You better do not congratulate in a letter if it might arrive before the date. It is not a problem if you are belated, but being too early brings bad luck.

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Personally I don’t know people who mind it. But well, guess I belong to another generation than you and things change.

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Really? In my family, the exact opposite is the case. If you don’t send it early, then you are too late, shame on you :joy: No problem with opening the letter at the correct date and saving it till then, the same is true for Christmas presents in the mail, you only open them when the time is ripe…
Ah, this is probably why I hate birthday greetings, it seems whatever you do, you do it wrong! (And not greeting is wrong, too! :scream:)

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Same here! Some decide to safe it for that day, some open it right away. If there isn’t a note that I shouldn’t open it until date X, I’ll open it immediately :sweat_smile: Always receiving my first birtday letter end of November / beginning of the December (my birthday is mid January!)

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I once got a card with a man in a black uniform and his name on the card. The sender thought it was a German hero of the first world war, but to me he looked like a nazi somehow, although it was not an SS-uniform he wore. He turned out to be a leader of the right wing military organisation “Stahlhelm”. I was really upset about that card. I don’t want to have anything to do with Nazis or alike and I don’t want to be associated with them! I deleted that card from my wall and the sender felt sorry and sent another card.

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