Report a profile, or not?

I’ve just seen a profile which seems to me to be 'iffy", ‘not quite right’, dubious?

It contains the words “…don’t send me a postcard if..” and “… I only want to receive postcards from…

I’ve been here long enough to know that it doesn’t work like that: you put yourself out in the world and have to accept that anyone may draw your address, and having drawn your address they have to send you a postcard regardless of your personal lifestyle preferences.

Question is: report this or not? I really don’t like being a website policeman. On the other hand, the person is new and almost certainly unaware of distinctions/nuances - and rules - like this. IF I report it, it would lead to that profile being edited? How should one report it? Here on the forum or over there on the main website? Should I bother to do this, or shrug it off and leave it to someone else weeks down the line?

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Is it a language issue? Google translate might be part of the problem …

Otherwise, I have lived in the Upper Midwest long enough to develop a certain passive-aggressiveness. Send a postcard - that’s all you have to do. Maybe write exactly that on the back.

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Maybe that is a poor woman in a strange family, maybe those are the family demands, otherwise she (that poor cinderella) would not be allowed at all to do postcrossing.

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I think the right thing is to report the profile by going to Help>Contact on the main site. Then the staff can comunicate with the member regarding the way they think Postcrossing works.

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LOL! I saw a profile recently that said “absolutely no multiviews” and I checked their received cards and thrtr were several multiview cards. I laughed and assume at least some of them did it to be petty

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@sannah82 it’s not a language issue, English speaker, I didn’t draw their profile…I saw it…

@SiLV not a poor woman in a strange family with family demands…

@Norway_girl thanks!

@ajmurdoch3 thanks but that scenario doesn’t fit with this one

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Than report it.
Sometimes, if I get auch a profile I send a card and I explain the issue on the card to the person. That often helps.
But I also did report before, because of racist comments … So go for it.

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I’d notify staff if the account name and let them inform the person if they see fit.

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I’ve done it once or twice. Once someone was asking for stamps instead of a postcard and since it is not a collector’s community and I really don’t want to have to care about stamps, I reported it. The member was asked to modify the profile.

And yes it’s done via the main website - Help, Contact.

It’s not like anything bad happens to them, they’re just asked to edit.

However, if they had read the guidelines/FAQs, they would know this is not the place to make demands.
(I signed up because the FAQs say demands are not allowed, which is why I’m still not a fan even of wishlists, after all this time)

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Often all that members (especially new ones) have are multiviews/tourist cards.

Postcrossing gets reports from senders saying that is all they have and what to do. We tell them that what is sent is the senders choice and to send the multi-view. The fact that the receiver registers them anyway is good IMO.

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I’d report it and the Postcrossing staff decides what happens after that.
I don’t see anything bad in reporting nor becoming a website policeman if I do so.
Like if I see someone doing a crime and I report it, it doesn’t make me a police, but a responsible citizen.

And by reporting, I don’t wish anything bad to the one I’m reporting about, but good, like to all other members. The reported might get help for the profile to be nicer, and all other members not to draw a picky profile, for example. So, no harm to anyone.

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The way I look at it is as follows: if it’s a postcard, let it slide and don’t make an issue of it. In time, they will become aware of the guideline. Of course, if they are sending a greeting card, a bookmark or something similar, then, yes …contact Postcrossing.

What you should also realize is that with some people, especially new ones, if they learn that someone has complained about them over a minor hiccup, they will just kiss P-Xing goodbye. You decide.

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For clarity. I have not had a postcard from this person, I have not drawn their address. I saw the profile. People look at other profiles all the time. This profile started with his/her sexual preferences (various) and stated that he/she doesn’t want to receive cards from anyone who might ‘object’ and doesn’t want to receive cards from anyone who might send ‘hate mail’. The person is new here.

I honestly regard this as Too Much Information, as a person’s sexual preferences and activities are not only none of my business, but no one else’s business either. I really don’t understand why they’ve been ‘advertised’ like this, when this is not a dating site, it’s only exchanging postcards!

I’m not going to do anything about it because it gives me the creeps, other than hope I never draw his/her profile. Thanks for all the replies.

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Note to my last post. Especially to @anon95027724

It seems to me on further thinking about this - though I would far rather not! - that some new people, coming across a profile like that one, may just kiss P-Xing goodbye, because they hadn’t realised that some people feel free to advertise their personal and (should be) private life, on line, in a place so apparently harmless.

Should postcrossing be the moral arbiters of people’s sexual preferences? Of course not. But there is a time and place for everything, and I really don’t think that postcrossing is the place - so homely, full of goodwill and international good cheer - to declare what or with whom you like to sh*g. I apologise in advance if that opinion offends anyone.

Well, the world is filled with all sorts of people. And for some people, their sexuality is a huge part of what defines them. While you and I might not particularly care for all of that extra information, it’s what they find important in terms of how they live their lives and what they think about.

That said, it’s true that Postcrossing is international and there are lots of people here from different cultures and with different comfort levels of what is considered socially acceptable or taboo. I think we also have to consider that Postcrossing is all ages–there are also a lot of young participants here. And while we would hope that their parents and teachers are supervising, that may not be entirely the case. So if their profile reads to you as not all-ages friendly, you may consider reporting it to the admins and let them decide on whether it’s appropriate or not.

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I think if one is cheeky enough to write publicly about their intimate life, a friendly comment from postcrossing team is not likely going to upset that person. But I might be wrong.

Generally speaking, if people read the rules, they know they shouldn’t tell what to send and who can send. Why would someone leave postcrossing if they are gently pointed that there’s something they could leave out from their profile. Why would they even know it was another member who reported them? Also, I find it peculiar if someone breaks the rules, and wouldn’t be led to better direction in fear of them possibly leaving postcrossing.

The “problem” for me would be, that I get suddenly too much information about unknown person’s intimate preferences and also, they start guiding me not to send a card if I object those. If I drew their address, I don’t have a choice in that point as I’m obliged to send the card.

I don’t typically interfere to peoples private lives, but if they aren’t open for conversation, why take up their point? Writing something in one’s profile very easily leads to other members commenting about it, and not always agreeing. Which they are entitled to (of course in a friendly manner).

I dont understand why it is a problem for some people when postcrossers write their sexual orientation into their profile. Others write their marital status, the amount of children they have, and so on. To be gay and maybe being happily same-sex married can be an important part of ones life. Why should only straight people be allowed to share their marital status for other postcrossers? When a man writes in his profile that he has been married to his wife for xy years. this is ok, but when a man writes that he is gay and happily same-sex married, then it is not ok? I would not want to be part of a community that discriminates me because of my sexual orientation, and where only straight people are allowed to share information about their life and family.
I once came across a profile where someone wrote she doesn’t want to receive postcards from gay people, because she thinks being gay is not normal and wrong. I reported this profile and I hope the owner was informed that this is hate speech. But of course, if someone feels uncomfortable writing to a person who tells ins his/her profile that they are gay, save your postcard and stamp for straight people.

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I wish I could like this more than once.

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I didn’t interpret the original post this way, as it never occured to me that could be the case. :flushed: I thought it was about someone over-sharing the practices they like in the bedroom… did I misunderstand this?
Of course it doesn’t matter whom you love, we’re all just people! :rainbow:

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Agree! But OP was talking about sexual preferences and not sexual orientation. In my opinion there is absolutely nothing condemnable or wrong to talk about your sexual orientation on your PC profile. But your detailed sexual preferences certainly don’t belong there. There is a big difference between telling that you are happily same-sex married and that you like to be whipped while having b*ttsex.

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