A lot happens in one’s life. We don’t know the reasons for not logging in.
However, I think it’s just pure decency to delete one’s account when they stopped postcrossing for whatever reasons. If I’m not able to maintain postcrossing as a hobby, deleting my account would be best. At least, if I’m able to do so—we don’t know what happened in the other postcrosser’s life.
Just my two cents here.
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There seems to be a lot of other text in the message too (which is good).
I don’t find it rude or passive aggressive at all.
I wouldn’t mind getting such, even if there was no other message. And there is also this beautiful hand writing, and gorgeous stamps as a plus.
I have gotten a card that says “please register” and the id, not much. That made me wonder if it was a second card or something. Also makes me wonder if people send me passive aggressive messages and I just don’t get them 
(I used to swap deco’s and once returned a full one to someone, who got angry, that she doesn’t swap anymore, why am I sending her this. So someone might think, when they stop Postcrossing, they don’t need to register anymore, so considering that, the message is nice and clear.)
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Oh, this is completely wrong! I always try to write warm, long messages on the postcard. And this card is no exception. I do not want to offend anyone, but just gently asked to register. I hope you understand me)
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it sounds really passive agressive. ‘nevertheless i’m sending you a card’. like the receiver should be so grateful that they’re receiving a card they deserve? yikes.
also i would be slightly passive agressive back and register the card 4 days later. the ‘please do it!!’ works on my nerves. everyone who at least registered 1 card knows how it works. no need to tell people what to do.
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I am not a native English speaker. Maybe that’s why I don’t think it sounds rude. Now I’m even more upset. After all, I thought I had sent a beautiful postcard with beautiful stamps and kind words. But I hope that the recipient is not too vulnerable.
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Not to me, the “nevertheless” is like " in any case" just a chatty part in obvious long message.
Nothing implies to me the receiver should be grateful or unormally thankful.
I read it like “I see and understand you might have stopped Postcrossing but I still send you this card”.
And openly writes noticing they have not been active, there’s nothing bad in that. Isn’t that actually the opposite of passive aggression, to be direct 
I think this is when people from different background write, with different levels of language skills, and from different cultural backgrounds. Best to think it’s meant in good/normal way.
And if it were passive aggressive, I think wisest would be ignore it and not play along with registering later.
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For me it sounds passive aggressive as well.
It might not have been your intention, but the words you wrote would take the joy out of the card for me.
You never know what is going on in people’s lives. They might be ill themselves or have ill relatives or friends. They might have problems with their job or lost a loved one. Or just be busy with other things, more pressing and important than Postcrossing.
Or they simply recieved their last card 5 weeks ago and therefore not logged in since then.
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Yes, this is all true, but the sender isn’t saying anything about this, just that she notices they have not been active. Not asking for a reason, or blaming. Is this something not to mention at all never?
How can someone know it?
I’ve been written to, that they have seen me write in this forum. Should I see bad in this too? Of course I know I have written here, so why mention it? If someone tells me they are a doctor, should I take it passive aggressively, because I don’t share my occupation? But I think it’s just chit chat, like most of the cards are. To me it is so strange idea to write bad things in a Postcrossing card, that I much easily see the better option.
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I don’t agree with this. One can always change their profile inactive if they don’t want to send or receive cards and then come back later. Or if the user doesn’t log in a month, the profile will be changed inactive automatically.
Like myself. I have had 3 breaks because of financial issues, studies, season work or living abroad and I have always came back. It would have been a pity to start from the beginning every time.
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In my opinion this is the point. “Nevertheless”
It’s simply not “nevertheless” but a rule to send a card to a drawn address.
So also for me it sounds passive-aggressive.
Though you, @Ni-noch-ka, pointed out it wasn’t meant like that (and I believe you!!) the recipient doesn’t know this. Maybe it will put them into the situation to justify themself.
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For me these are totally different topics.
I write about my occupation sometimes as well. Or point out that I “know” someone from the forum. There’s nothing wrong with that in my opinion, as it would be hard to read anything more into it than what it is.
But pointing out that someone hasn’t been logged in for a longer period of time and demanding (that’s what the exclamation mark at the end of the sentence conveys) that the postcard be registered, is something completely different to me. Maybe I’m too sensitive but to me it sounds as if the sender implys that I’m not registering my cards properly.
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I really hope the receiver has a little practical knowledge to see that it’s a part of a message written by someone whose mother tongue is not English and is aware that most portscrossers don’t send passive aggressive messages, and chooses to see that as it is, a part of the message. No hidden meanings of asking for being grateful or something. “Nevertheless” being one word that refers that the sender understands the receiver might have quit, have other priorities etc. (It is obvious to me that some don’t read the guidelines, and might think if they quit, no one sends cards anymore, or if they don’t send anymore, they don’t need to register.)
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Yes, topics are different. That was not my point. It was, that you can start searching something between the lines that is not there, if you want to. Sometimes you don’t want to, but previous experiences have taught this pattern and you see alternative, falsely interpreted meanings. Then a good thing to do is to think the best possible option and teach new patterns for your brain.
Exclamation mark is used also in other expressions than in a demand.
(Made me think one Seinfeld episode now )
That is of course a good thing to do for yourself. But in most cases you don’t know the receiver of your card and wouldn’t it be kinder to avoid things that might be misinterpreted? Because the receiver might not have taught his brain these patterns.
Of course it’s impossible to completely avoid misunderstandings while writing to a stranger once via postcard. I’m aware of that. But in my opinion some things are easy to avoid and pointing out that someone hasn’t logged in recently is one of them.
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The problem is: in most cases the person behind the address you draw is a totally stranger. So you cannot know the situation they are dealing with right at this moment.
But in that case we’re talking about 27 days. A lot of people just go online when they have a card to register.
I did the same after I sent out my first five postcards and after I had read the FAQ, set my profile etc.
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Why is this a problem or what in this is a problem?
I think this discussion starts to go in circles.
Some see it passive aggressive, some not.
If the receiver sees it badly, the sender can say it was not meant that way. Maybe say sorry.
If the sender insists to see it badly, in the end that’s really totally up to them and no one needs to agree with that.
(To me this took the final turn to absurdness when an exclamation mark is brought up as a sure sign of a demand 
(why pick small things like that in someones message and make unkind assumptions.))
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I don’t need to know it. There is responsibility in the reader’s end too.
They may have not needed to (teach their brain to stop looking for negativeness), even. They can be the one who choose to see the more likely positive or neutral meaning there.
Of course I try to avoid things that are easily misunderstood, but to be honest, when I’m writing, I’m writing. It’s a form of relaxation. I have to switch my brain to the language I’m writing, but often I have used some other languages before that, so the writing often is not smooth for a native to read, or for someone who translates it to their own language. There I give trust to the reader, to know I don’t have bad intentions.
If the sender here is that concerned about a card not being registered, they can send a polite message after the card has expired, if that happens.
A one month absence isn’t even a big deal. It seems very pointless to highlight it and then ask for the card to be registered.
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Of course they can send a polite message too. (Then there are people who hate these, or find them passive aggressive, or hinting/accusing they are not registering the card etc.)
But most likely the card will be there first. If it expires, they can still message them.
It can seem pointless, but then again, is there so much significance in all other remarks in postcrossing cards?
And I think we should keep in mind that this is now a real person whose message some seem to attack and over analyce here. She is a new member, and I really appreciate she has been so open about what to do, and what she does. I hope we don’t scare her away.
I can be sure if anyone else openly shares their messages they are not perfect in every one eyes either. So maybe let this be now. I think everyone of us hopes it gets registered and the receiver sees it’s sent with good intentions.
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Thank you for your support!
This exclamation mark means gratitude)))
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