Hard to Please?

Someone I sent to recently asked that we peruse their collection to avoid duplicates – they’ve received over 20,000 cards! I noped right out of that and sent a card I bought from an artist at a street market. No guarantee this person hasn’t received it before, but I guess it’s less likely. But it just smacks of a lack of awareness!


I wonder if they are able to keep track themselves… I don’t believe it is humanly possible to remember so many.


After all these years with postcrossing I recently got a postcrosser suggesting I look at their “received” postcards to avoid duplicates and this postcrosser had received thousands of postcards. I didn’t know how to feel about this. I actually started looking at the “received” postcards and did this for at least 3 minutes. It may not sound long but I got through only 4 pages. Then I realized this is going to take awhile. So I stopped and picked something I liked and hopefully the person didn’t have. My time was limited as I had an appointment to get to. I even wrote that on the postcard. I was kinda shocked by the request but it is what it is. Can’t change people.


I recently had one who suggested to look the cards to avoid duplicates. Over 10k cards. Well first i looked up all the “from Finland” since i was going to send tourist card. But that just because i enjoy looking throught the galleries, sent, received, favourites - i always check the galleries, - fun for me! But i don’t assume that others will check mine, all go through thousands of my favorites to see if they have a card from there to send. I just love collecting beautiful cards to my fav. Wall. Tiny side hobby :smile:


Though I don’t have 20,000 but around 10,000 I can say (for me): No! It was easy until, let’s say 5,000, but then…

I came across cards I wanted to have so badly that I thought I really have them but I don’t. Or I got cards long before when I wasn’t interested in that typical kind but after years I suddenly liked them but didn’t remember I received them.
Therefore I really don’t care about duplicates and don’t expect people to browse my collections.

The only exception is for specific RR and if it’s a very small collection - but even then I don’t tell if it’s a duplicate - there’s still a different text


I don’t know if, as a relatively new Postcrosser who has only sent out 3 postcards so far, I am entitled to comment on this topic, but I will try to give my two cents regarding various points raised in this thread after reading some of the posts.

First of all, I have nothing against collectors without being a postcard collector myself, period. (There is no ‘BUT’ to follow :smiley:)

I got that the primary purpose of postcrossing is not collecting, but connecting. Nevertheless, I don’t think the two are mutually exclusive or necessarily sit at opposite ends. Rather, I think one complements another to make this activity all the more enjoyable. Unless one is of the type of person who throws away all his/her postcards after receiving them, there is a collecting aspect to postcrossing. We appear to be ‘quarrelling’ because some members talk more from the perspective of collectors, while others from that of connectors (is this an actual word in English? :sweat_smile:). Fair enough, we are all different humans having different opinions.

Then about pleasing people. I am the type of person dedicated to public service so naturally I like to please people. People in my surrounding often describe me as ‘generous’ because I would go ‘over and beyond’ to accomodate them in their preferred way. However, my motivation is purely self-centered (not in the pejorative sense of the word); the starting point is MYSELF – I do so because it’s immensely gratifying to me to brighten someone’s day with a little something. Others’ happiness makes me happy. So I would say if you have any qualm after reading someone’s profile that seems demanding, if this activity ceases to please yourself, you need not force yourself into pleasing that person.

Lately, because I am running the Stamp Out War: Support Ukraine project, everyday I skim through Postcrossing’s database to select 5-6 members who are mostly likely to respond favourably to my invitation to join this global initiative (note that unlike the Forum’s message system that has no visible limitation, Postcrossing’s message system sets an upper limit to the number of messages I can send out per day). This means that I read a lot of profiles everyday in order to personalise the invitation, and by so doing come across all kinds of different people with different wishes (which some may count as demands). I am not in the habbit of judging people based on a small facade they chose to reveal to the community, so I don’t get any particular ‘offense’ by some of the things people include in their profiles.


I know you are talking about people in general, and indeed, in most thinkable cases it’s not really humanly possible, but I should like to point out to the existence of a very small percentage of possessors of eidetic memory, which in the visual context, is often called photgraphic memory. They would be capable of keeping track of every postcard they received – and they are still human!

Another type of people who I think can nearly behave like a possessor of eidetic memory is a (more or less pathalogical) hoarder in the medical sense of the word. As an OCD patient who happens to be equipped with very good memory for certain types of information (which is so good that some of my friends consider it eidetic, but I know it’s not), I am actually a hoarder of information. This means I constantly (obsessively) double check information I have known, thereby retain these pieces of information longer than what an ordinary person is capable of. One exemple is that I have very good memory for numbers. To start with, I can remember virtually all my classmates’ birthday or test result by seeing/hearing/knowing it only once. Then these pieces of information would come to my mind all the time and by virtue of repetitive exposure, I can remember them for a long time. In the context of postcard collecting, such ‘gifted (or cursed)’ person would be constantly looking through or mentally recalling all of his/her received cards.

Just a bit of popularisation about those extremely unusual people. I am not disagreeing your general comment :slight_smile:


I bet they still get duplicates, but funny thing is, do they really think everyone does this?
(I too like looking others collections, but sometimes Flickr does that it uploads the pictures in different speed. And some can be huge, and others tiny. I don’t know if the “fault” is how those are scanned there, or my connection, but still that’s not something I will wait if I’m in a writing mood, and not waiting mood :smile: )

Here my two latest from Australia

There was no way to avoid this!
Think if they had gone through all my cards, and then same card appears :smile:

I really don’t mind getting same card, these especially I love both :smiling_face_with_three_hearts:


Oh my… I liked every card I received and hope to receive…just a happy and nice card in the mail is so much fun​:grinning::tulip:


I’m not looking through your received cards, I’m just not. Looking at cards received from the US, where I am from, or from Germany (!) - nope, no way.

I used to do it when I lived in Turkey because there were not many cards to look at, but that’s the only time.


I like postcards overall. I like looking at them in shops, on members’ walls, and sometimes even look at the gallery on the main page just to see what cards are being sent.

After reading a profile, I choose the received from US option and look through a few pages. I spend perhaps 5 minutes, so its not a huge burden on my time. Personally I enjoy seeing the cards the member has received from my country; some are familiar, but many are new to me from places I have never lived or visited. Occassionally I see the member already has received the card I selected, so I choose another. For me its an easy and simple process, doesnt take much time, and I think it helps me choose a card the recipient will enjoy seeing in their mailbox.


The thing is “no one has to”.

I like to read the message on the postcard and I’m collecting. I collect also postcards, which are not falling in to my collected series. And I’m far away of demanding something.

Yes I like a beautiful postcard, which is worth collecting (I assume I keep 80% of my received postcards).
And yes the message, people call it here “connecting with”, is important, but I also appreciate beautiful stamps, nice cancellation and adorable picture side.
And I will not stop collecting, because here are some people who only want to connect.


I got a user who wrote a lot of “I DON’T LIKE” in all caps and repeated the type of card they don’t like several times with many “!!!” marks. I tried to avoid those cards but ended up with a card that is different type but I think the recipient still wouldn’t like. I didn’t have any other card so I sent it as it is. Even now the card is still traveling for almost a year and will soon be removed by the system. The user is still active and register postcards regularly. I will be positive, maybe the card just got lost somewhere. I’m not really interested in trying to send a second card so I’ll say goodbye to it forever and move on.


I agree with you. There might be a little chance that the profile text wasn’t updated since years - when you have 1.000 recieved cards the expectation that senders should look through some pages is ok, but when you’ve reached a 5 digit number this expectation is just unreasonable. :face_with_spiral_eyes:

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I have once sent an art card. The guy didn’t ask to check for duplicates but I did because I only had one card and I wanted to send it to someone for whom it would be new. I went through all of his received cards because it was the kind of card that you can send from anywhere. Well in the hurray message he wrote that he had received the same card two days before mine haha. :smile: :person_shrugging:


Just curious, as I haven’t heard of people throwing away postcards. Why do you only keep 80% of the cards you receive?

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One time I draw an adress, where the user said like: “please NO NO NO xy!!! And NO NO NO xy!”. I think, it’s okay to write down things you don’t like, like spiders, if somebody has a phobia against them.
Another time, I draw an very picky profile, where the user wrote down the exact way the sender “should” design the back of the card, like “write down the weather, temperature, date and the ID twice! Also write down “Stand with Ukraine!” for two times!”
I’m quite new to Postcrossing, but I hate it, when people wrote down instructions, that a written in an offensive way a bit too much. It’s okay, to ask for a date etc., but a “please” is always nice! :slight_smile:


I sometimes throw cards away. I keep maybe 95% of the cards I receive even if they don’t fit any of my collection. Someone gave thought to the card and spent time writing and or decorating it. However I sometimes receive cards I really do not like. Why schuld I keep it? I only have limited space so some cards have to go.


I don’t keep cards where the message, stamps, and image add up to a card I do not find interesting. It’s not often, but it happens.


That makes me sad to think I have spent money, time picking out just the right card, time personalizing a message just to potentially have a card I sent thrown away. It kind of makes me rethink doing this.