I did official Postcrossing only very sporadically even before joining the forum, so I may or may not ever send more officials, but I may or may not have done so even without the forum - who knows 
I agree about the forum being more fun though, and I always feel surprised by mail even if Iām expecting it, because I donāt know what day it will arrive 
I always preferred the forum, to swap on purpose, not randomly selected by computer.
I did 11 official mailings, and that confirmed to me that I prefer forum swaps.
What unrealistic wishes?
Such profiles should be reported/notified to Postcrossing team.
But compared Postcrossing/forum swaps to dating, I think official Postcrossing is like life: I can meet anyone and no expectations, and Iām not āseriouslyā looking. Just saying āhiā is enough. I love the randomness, itās like unplanned travelling, when you can meet anyone, and you are not thinking they will stay in your life, but some still do While forum swaps, itās āserious datingā, package travel, Iām wanting something almost and others are too, plus there is also more work: ask for the address, give address, thank. And sometimes I had to ask did they send it, or even after long time I told I didnāt still get anything, and turned out they didnāt yet even send it yet. Someone doesnāt thank me, or answer did they get my swap (very rare).
I like official cards, and have gotten many longer term friends who with I swap and send something every now and then. Now I havenāt swapped in the forum for a long time, but maybe sometime again, when I have long waiting time/more time. I write my cards now in small time slots, so I am afraid it would become too stressful to wait for the addresses in tags etc.
But I think forum swaps are really good especially if one is looking for something or collects something.
Surprise elements partly stays in a swaps like card from favourite album, but you will still be getting something you like 
There are also forum members who donāt do any forum activities/games. I only do āOfficial Postcrossingā and am on the forum mainly for the meetup section. I love official Postcrossing 
I like to use both, IĀ“m still a newbie can have 10 cards traveling and waiting time is sometimes too long. When i first started out i tried everything tags, RR, lottery, Bingo, now some of them i like and some of them are not my thing.
i love the forum. iāve met some great people here. penpals, people iām just sending cards with every now and then and people iām always happy to meet in tags. but i love the official site a lot too, for sending cards. i guess i donāt see all the negativity other people here see? i donāt get trash in the mail, i donāt get those super picky profiles as often (i canāt remember the last time) and i hardly ever get empty hurray messages. actually, i get nicer hurray messages on the official site than on the forum, since the new topic itās okay to just say āreceived this card from that personā.
most of the time when i feel like participating in some tags there are the same 3 people last in almost all of them. itās a little off putting sometimes. i donāt mind sending to the same people once in a while, just not all the time. itās what i like about the official site. the randomness about it all.
also one more thing. most of the time i sit down and want to/am able to send a card. i donāt wanna wait until a round robin group is full or someone on the other side of the country is awake. that can take a day or more when i donāt have the time anymore.
I do still participate in Official Postcrossing, but less often than I did since becoming more involved in the Forum. There are some round robins (āRRsā) here that I really like!
For example, the Canadian monthly RR is great because Iām swapping cards with others from my country, plus the postage is 1/3 the cost of sending internationally. And the Goody Two Shoes 
Chaotic Nonsense RR is great fun because itās possible to be silly and creative, sometimes to send those weird cards that you arenāt sure about, because the whole point is that itās a nonsense RRā¦
I still enjoy the serendipity and randomness of Official Postcrossing! Itās just that most round robins (and some tags) offer the chance to get to know others better over time. Official Postcrossing can be tantalizing in that way because each experience there is a one-off.
As for the difficult-to-please question, many forum situations also involve being directed to someoneās official profile, so you can still find yourself staring in consternation at a list of wishes! If youāre sending regularly to the same people, and youāve exhausted the 1 or 2 cards that match something on their list, it is not that different from being on Official Postcrossing. So, as on regular Postcrossing, I simply send something nice and hope for the best.
I joined in July. So far 5 cards in official PC have reached the destinations. Couple more are travelling. And I have met some really wonderful people on the forum and swapped cards with them. Also done few education tags too. I can tell that I love doing both official and forum swap. I have few limitations that keeps me from participating in more activities. I have very limited design of postcards available here. And postage cost rise exponentially if I have to send even a single post card in an envelope.
I like both, the forum and the main site. Dependig on my mood/time/money or just what I feel like at the time I am more active on the forum or more active on the main site. Sometimes I am very active on both. On the fourm I often join wishlists RRās that help me with my collection. On the main site I like to be surprised with any card to see what variety in cards there is.
I try to be active on the main side for WPD and during December for the charity of Deutsche Post.
I am active on the German part of the forum in conversations that do not lead to tags or swaps ect as this is where I connect here. Also this section on the forum is one of my favourite to connect with people.
Also I like the meet-up section and I love ot meet postcrossers in person.
Iām in betweenā¦I use the official side to send/receive cards, although I also give some away in the North Am group. Trades here only seem to want series cards which are expensive and must be special ordered, so thats no fun for me. Tags are sometimes ok, but often monopolized by the same 2 or 3 people. Mostly I just read the conversationsā¦
Agree about the tag situation, but it is what it is ā¦
To me, thereās room for both. Overall, Iāve found Official senders try to send interesting cards and messages; 50 is an awful lot needed per slot if one is not European.
Tags/RR can be great at developing relationships with folks of similar interests, although Iāve run across seeming ācollectorsā as well whom I infer in some cases were disappointed with what I sent. Donāt mind the one-and-done nature of Official sends, as hearing from a diverse pool is the idea there.
I prefer official PC so far.
Itās hard for me to get single cards when purchasing, so I usually get many cards of the same topic (e.g. a box of view cards of someplace) and have limited choices to mail out and please the receivers. So when I run out of the slots at the official website and have to turn to the forum, I find that the games are not so easy to participate in. RR usually requests many written cards in 2 weeks, Tag usually has a specific topic which I have few cards about, not to mention that I didnāt figure out how Bingo works yet. So one surprising receiver every few days may be more suitable for me. Only when I run out of my slots, I will come here and search for some games I can enjoy.
But the forum is a good place to communicate and relax. It is filled with warm and nice people.
You seem like a warm and nice person to me June! Reading your thoughtful responses, and those of other forum members, is one of the reasons I enjoy participating in here.
Iāve also really enjoyed the diversity of opinion, and I hope itās teaching me to be a more thoughtful person too.
I also love official Postcrossing. It appeals to my enjoyment of surprises. So I will continue to participate in both for now.
Great question @rhuqesmail! Thank you 
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I have interacted with members who have very few official cards but are very active on the forum or penpalling, so it is quite common as this thread shows.
As for me, I am 99% official Postcrossing. I am addicted to requesting an address and waiting to see what happens, who comes up. I find the forum/any swaps takes that away and it is the most important for me. I also donāt like to know what I am going to receive so I tend to swap when there is no picture of what I will get and when I feel like interacting with someone in particular. Occasionally it is because they offer something from a place I am interested in, more often because I have what they want (and I am not too fussed about what I get back because I like sending more than receiving). But anyway, it is rare.
Tags are tempting sometimes but after Iāve done a couple I get bored of them (canāt remember last time I did, must be at least a couple of years back). As others have said, I might not be in the mood to wait for an address, maybe I am in the mood/I have time for a card or two and I can get an address on the official side.
RRs baffled me for years, I did a couple eventually but it usually feels like too much commitment. I like the āDiary RRā or something like that, where you write to the same person 4 times in a month, I did that 3 times I think.
I have regular penpals and postcard pals so I turned to that when I am not in the mood for officials and I prefer to focus on the relationship side.
I find the biggest strength of the forum is for collectors, those who want something specific or donāt want certain things and the officials will not be enough or not be satisfactory. But to me the randomness is what makes Postcrossing unique and addictive so I would not swap that (pun intended) for anything else.
I use the forum for chatting because I find it relaxing and I like to chat online, especially when I am too tired to write postcards or want to go easy on the costs involved. As I said, of course browsing the forum sometimes I get in the mood to arrange a swap or participate in something, but Iām not so active.
My issue with tags, and to a lesser extent RRs, would be that at times most of the available āslotsā are occupied by two or three countries and/or members.
For me the two complement each other perfectly.
I really like all this beautiful humans dynamic and participate in lots of projects on the forum. I like to wander around on the different subjects that I sometimes read even at work.
On the other hand I find it sad that members are registered only on the forum and not on the official site.
Itās so interesting to read the blog, look the cards sent just now around the world. Study the progress of shipments by country, see the number of km/miles traveled by your cards in the month.
Please donāt put your postcrossing account into inactive, we must continue to bring this wonderful project of friendship.
I am new so I canāt answer the first part of your question. I do RR and direct swaps, because it keeps me interested while I wait for official cards. I have only received 3 official cards and you are correct there is such a rush of excitement when I find a card in my box. So I canāt imagine why people would not stay with the official postcards as well as the other activities. I believe you can message the sender when you receive a card. You have their name and on the sheet donāt you? I thought so.
I used to take part in Postcrossing a few years ago, but I noticed that I prefer to exchange letters. I still write postcards to family, friends and penpals though.